Advanced Child and school placement

[MommyMandi]

My daughter goes to first grade in the fall. We chose to keep her at her preschool for kindergarten because they also have private kindergarten with an advanced curriculum. I have never labeled her as gifted, but that's because I don't like labels. She has always been advanced for her age and often grasps a concept the first time. She has a December birthday so she's on the older side of her class. We put her in 3 year old preschool when she was still 2, she thrived. She was also the youngest in her second year as well. So, she's already been in school for 4 years and is doing amazing.

We researched where to send her to school, found two perfect placements and went through the tedious process of applying. One school you have to take the CoGats to get into. She tested right below the cut off. (I should mention she also has massive anxiety, so the new situation and setting did NOT help with this). I am still silently grieving the loss of this placement. Not because she didn't get a high enough score, because I know she would thrive at this school with the setting and curriculum. Also because I know if she could have tested a month or two later, she would have gotten it. She's just grown so much the last 4 months. Even her teachers were completely shocked. The other school is extremely hard to get into because of the high volume of applicants. She came up 6th in the lotto (yay!!) but there are no openings in the school. Another brick wall...

On to plan w or something like that. I have so much anxiety of this transition. I know she will be fine anywhere we send her, but I don't want her to be fine. I want her to be happy and thrive. We have decided to send her to our neighborhood school. It's not a bad school, it's just an average public school. She's already surpassed most of everything she will learn next year. I'm so bummed that she won't be challenged and won't get what she has for the last 4 years. Her teachers this year are amazing, they really see her strength and cater to that. They adapt work for her, push her to the next level without upsetting her (she's highly sensitive and often doesn't talk at school). Everyone keeps telling me to stop worrying, she will be fine. She's bright and has very involved parents, yada yada yada. I know this, but I want more for her. I don't want her in a gifted program. I want her in a school with different curriculum, a standards based curriculum that focuses on the whole child. 

What do you do when you have no other options? I wanted to home school but do to some unforseen rough patches in our life, that isn't going to be possible. Give me some hope that I'm making the right choice here, because I feel like this is awful!

[pigpokey]

Well, since you cannot home school I would continue to pursue placement at your 2 top schools.

6th on a waiting list sounds pretty darn good to me.  Parents get transferred, kids get pulled to home school.  Many parents are not willing to interrupt their child's school year to take advantage of an opening, so that moves the next child up the list.  Contact them and let them know your willingness to withdraw from neighborhood school at any point in the next year if needed.

As to the other school, you might try getting a re-test on the CoGAT -- privately if necessary -- and see if she can go on a wait list there.  Is applying for admission again in a year a possibility?

[ollyoxenfree]

Persisting with placement at your 2 preferred schools sounds like a good idea. 

Are you certain, however, that the neighbourhood public school won't challenge her at all? That the teacher won't perceive her strengths and accommodate the curriculum for her? 

Originally Posted by MommyMandi 

 Her teachers this year are amazing, they really see her strength and cater to that. They adapt work for her, push her to the next level without upsetting her (she's highly sensitive and often doesn't talk at school). 

Rather than worrying that she be pushed to the next level, she may enjoy being in a program that provides lots of opportunities for her to explore and direct her own interests. 

A regular classroom can allow for this, with a little work and enthusiasm on the part of the teacher and the administration. Especially in the early primary grades, it's not overwhelmingly difficult to implement some tactics and techniques to enrich the classroom experience for advanced students. If the local school is the best available option, then meet with the teacher and find out how open s/he is to adapting the curriculum and differentiating her classwork to suit your dd's abilities. There are resources available on teaching gifted children in the regular classroom - try Hoagies gifted website or search some of the threads in this forum. 

If you are finding that the teacher and the school won't differentiate (and sadly, that happens), then keep exploring other school options, but also encourage your dd to continue learning independently without relying on what is happening at school. If you are a homeschooling family at heart, then you already understand the importance of taking primary responsibility for learning yourself. 

[itsmyturn]

There is a perk to being the big the fish in the little pond; your DD will most likely stand out to the teacher and therefore get more individualized attention, which sometimes can get overlooked in a school where everyone is supposed to be smart. Trust me on this one!

I also agree that being #6 on the list is pretty nice. Our magnet school waiting list tends to move through 15-20 names a year, for 1-2 spots. Good luck and try to remember that the teacher, more than the school, is what makes the difference.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by MommyMandi 

I don't want her in a gifted program

I don't understand this. Why not?

We all have slightly different options, and each of us must choose which is best among out options.

Also, her placement for next year is just that -- her placement for next year. You could have her retest after one year to try for the first school, or you could switch her to the lotto based school when her number comes up (which could be at any point, some people on the list won't want to switch after their child starts at another school, so her actual number is lower than 6).

[MommyMandi]

Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree 

Persisting with placement at your 2 preferred schools sounds like a good idea. 

Are you certain, however, that the neighbourhood public school won't challenge her at all? That the teacher won't perceive her strengths and accommodate the curriculum for her? 

Rather than worrying that she be pushed to the next level, she may enjoy being in a program that provides lots of opportunities for her to explore and direct her own interests. 

A regular classroom can allow for this, with a little work and enthusiasm on the part of the teacher and the administration. Especially in the early primary grades, it's not overwhelmingly difficult to implement some tactics and techniques to enrich the classroom experience for advanced students. If the local school is the best available option, then meet with the teacher and find out how open s/he is to adapting the curriculum and differentiating her classwork to suit your dd's abilities. There are resources available on teaching gifted children in the regular classroom - try Hoagies gifted website or search some of the threads in this forum. 

If you are finding that the teacher and the school won't differentiate (and sadly, that happens), then keep exploring other school options, but also encourage your dd to continue learning independently without relying on what is happening at school. If you are a homeschooling family at heart, then you already understand the importance of taking primary responsibility for learning yourself. 

That is exactly what I want. I probably didn't get that point across, but that's what was so great about the other schools, they were set up for that. I'm not saying that she won't get that at our home school, it's just not as likely.
 

Originally Posted by pigpokey 

Well, since you cannot home school I would continue to pursue placement at your 2 top schools.

6th on a waiting list sounds pretty darn good to me.  Parents get transferred, kids get pulled to home school.  Many parents are not willing to interrupt their child's school year to take advantage of an opening, so that moves the next child up the list.  Contact them and let them know your willingness to withdraw from neighborhood school at any point in the next year if needed.

As to the other school, you might try getting a re-test on the CoGAT -- privately if necessary -- and see if she can go on a wait list there.  Is applying for admission again in a year a possibility?

You can only take the CoGat every two years. So depending on where we are in two years and how she's doing at our home school, we will go from there.

Thanks for all the advice. I'm sure I'm overreacting, I just want to make the right choice, ya know? I don't want her in a gifted program or to be the super smart one, I just want her to get the all around support she needs to thrive. 

[MommyMandi]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

I don't understand this. Why not?

We all have slightly different options, and each of us must choose which is best among out options.

Also, her placement for next year is just that -- her placement for next year. You could have her retest after one year to try for the first school, or you could switch her to the lotto based school when her number comes up (which could be at any point, some people on the list won't want to switch after their child starts at another school, so her actual number is lower than 6).

Because I don't just want her pushed in the areas she excels in. I want the whole child approach. The pull out gifted programs tend to just push the academics and that's not exactly what we are looking for. It's not to say we won't change our minds or we won't end up there, but at 6, it's not exactly what we are looking for. 

We are holding on to hope with the lotto. And thanks for reminding me that it's just next year. I know this logically but tend to overlook it in the big picture of things.

[whatsnextmom]

Relax. It's 1st grade and there is a lifetime of challenge in front of her. For starters, you can't assume she won't get challenged in the public school. There are all sorts of ways to challenge a child and public school teachers can be more than capable in this reguard too. Have you vistited the 1st grade public class? You can't determine what they do based on online benchmarks. We never experienced a class that didn't offer more than that. There are all sorts of different accomodations that can be made in the public school including subject acceleration.

I have a 5th and 9th grader and what I've learned over the years is that the "best" isn't always "the best." I'd take our flexible little rural school district that loves the arts and foriegn languages over the top tier private schools in our county any day. The top tier schools felt their program was challenging enough for ANY child. They loved saying they were a year advanced and dismissed me when I asked what they did for kids 3 to 5 years advanced. The public school was willing to work with my kids.

Not every year is going to be amazing in any situation. Even my homeschooling friends would say that certain years are less prolific and more "fine" than others. Some years are "fine" in the classroom and spectacular in extracurriculars. Some school years, everything clicks.  Often what a parent thinks is "amazing" does little for the actual kid in question. My kids favorite years aren't neccessarily the same as the years *I* thought were amazing.

Who knows, her anxiety might lesson at the public school. Being the "big fish" like someone else mentioned can be really good for these kids. She might do less academically but maybe she'll start feeling comfortable talking in class, start sharing her ideas, take leadership opportunities! I'd certainly take that over being silent in an accelerated program. Being "pushed to the next level" even nicely may be more a source of anxiety than you think.... sometimes those silent expectations are the most stressful. Who knows what you might learn in her time at the public school.

Just go in positive and with an open mind. Give it a "real" try meaning don't freak out if the first homework packet is below level. Volunteer in the class. After the first month, if you feel she needs more, set up a conference and discuss the options with the teacher. Take it a year at a time. Know that kids can handle change. If something doesn't work, try something else!

[MommyMandi]

You are right. I should also say that I don't snub my nose up at public schools. The schools we were trying to get into were public schools, so we aren't pushing her to get into some top academic private school. There are lots of pieces to the puzzle and having not shared much on here before, it's hard to get that across. I am truly hoping that next years works out better than I hope. I have not expressed any of these concerns infront of her. She is excited to go and I have always supported that. That is all she knows. I carry all of this anxiety in my head, I don't act on it, thankgoodness, lol! I'm not a pushy, over-acting parent who is trying to make her kids something they aren't. I was in the education field and finding the right placement that suits each child's needs is important to me. It's not about imagine or what school they go to or what their scores are, truly it's not. We live in a "great" school district. It's got money, ranks high in scores, yada yada yada. I truly don't care about that. I want to know what teacher turn over looks like, what they are cutting out with the lack of funding, how involved the parents are, etc. I think my other main concern is the high ratio of students to teachers. With all the budget cuts, they aren't hiring on more teachers when others retire. I guess we shall just see how life plays out. That is the plan for now anyway, not changing things for now!

[domesticidyll]

Would the CoGAT school be willing to take a score on a different test?Heather

[CA Mom]

Get her IQ tested. There is a difference between being advanced and being gifted. Gifted kids learn differently. My son is highly gifted, nearly profound but did not score well on the CogAT. I have since learned from these wonderful ladies that can happen with high IQ kids. YOu can get a differentiated classroom if you ask. We are doing an SST with my son and I am considering just getting an IEP for his giftedness.