Not only am I new to the Mothering Community, I am also new to the Single Parenting club... Well, kind of... You see, I'm pregnant.
I was with FOB as my midwife calls him (Father of Baby), and because I'm not in with the lingo yet, that's what I'm using. Anyway, I was with FOB for about a year and things were fantastic. Then one day my pee magically created double pink lines on every stick it came into contact with, and FOB immediately turned into something less fantastic.
We ended up splitting up a whole 6 months later (he kicked me out of the house at 1am), I couch surfed for a couple weeks, and now I live with my parents. Which is great, because I am having a home birth! While the birth part in inevitable, the home part was the difficult one to figure out.
So that all happened, I thought he was out of the picture and didn't care. Now all of a sudden he wants to come to my next midwife appointment?? I moved away exactly a month ago, and NOW he wants to get involved?
I am having a really hard time balancing wanting to cause him pain and suffering, and allowing him to try to be a part of our child's life. One of the main reasons I left him is because he hardly acknowledged the fact that I'm pregnant, to the point of being mean to me and name calling. (seriously, he called me lazy all the time and I was working 60 hours a week). I left because I didn't want our child to be born into a crappy relationship, and I was terrified that FOB's attitude of ignorance would carry onto fatherhood.
I still have the same concerns. I am still worried that he won't be involved enough. Is his effort worth looking into? I don't want to get my hopes up. I am also scared of the amounts of stress that I have already had while being pregnant, and the amount of stress he brings on.
I know my legal rights in my area (my dad is a lawyer) but I don't know how to handle this situation emotionally. Any advice or resources?
Thanks for listening!