What was the "Hardest" part for you?

[mom2p.m.]

I was just wondering what was the hardest part of the whole separation divorce for you.

My husband and I separated about a month ago.  I wanted to divorce and told him such.  He then basically became an emotional mess, I mean huge mess.  He could barely go to work, and barely function.  I agreed to wait on the divorce if he would just move out and work on him.  He later told me he was glad that I was willing to compramise, because he was thinking that he was going to have to file for disability because he was so upset about me filing for divorce.  Maybe it is just me and but this comment really annoyed me.

So now he is out, has been for a month, but I still want to divorce.  I personally think the hardest part for me was telling him and making that decision for myself.  It was a really hard choice for me to make and I feel like I have made it through the hardest part, but I haven't enough filed for divorce yet.  

I guess this thread is part advice and part vent.  So for you what was the hardest part.  I feel like I personally have made it through the hardest part and now I am ready to move forward, which I feel like I can't do until we are divorced.  But I don't know if there is something harder waiting for me that I don't know about.  Never done this before, hope I never will again.

Thanks ladies, btw love this forum.

[NolaRiordan]

The hardest part of the divorce process for me was telling the kids. And I think the hardest part post divorce is how much I miss the kids when they're gone.

There are many many parts of the divorce process that suck emotionally, psychologically, financially, etc.

Your stbx does sound rather manipulative. Hope you can get through this as peacefully as possible for all of you.

[mom2p.m.]

Yeah, it will be really hard to tell the kids their dad is not ever moving back in.  Right now I think that my stbx and the kids are holding out for some kind of hope of us being together.  I told him, my stbx, that I would wait a year before I filed, but now I just don't think I can do that.  I need closure now and I don't want to drag it on and on for a year.  I am done and don't see us ever getting back together aside from a miracle.

And yes he is manipulative, but he doesn't realize it.  Our marriage therapist even said so in a private session I had with him, we both agreed he was manipulative but that my stbx didn't mean to or realize he is...strange I know.

My stbx once told me that if I divorced him he would move back to his home state, 1,200 miles away, because he would have NO reason to stay here.....we have 3 kids together.