I miss the moderators.

[mamakah]

Can't we find a "healthy medium" with moderators? I am really bothered by the turn that MDC has taken since they are gone.  I spend more time wading through snarky non AP arguments when all I want is to be a part of a thoughtful, respectful discussion.  The vaccination and GD forums have seriously gone down hill and it concerns me since they were the only places I could go to get a respectful discussion on the topics. 

Is it always going to be like this or does mothering have a plan?

[HappyHappyMommy]

Originally Posted by mamakah 

Can't we find a "healthy medium" with moderators? I am really bothered by the turn that MDC has taken since they are gone.  I spend more time wading through snarky non AP arguments when all I want is to be a part of a thoughtful, respectful discussion.  The vaccination and GD forums have seriously gone down hill and it concerns me since they were the only places I could go to get a respectful discussion on the topics. 

Is it always going to be like this or does mothering have a plan?

I miss the moderators too. When I first joined MDC, there were some people who noted fthat MDC was too heavily moderated, but I actually
felt the moderation was one of MDC's strengths. The reduction in moderation has been a disappointment to me.

[rcr]

yea, I was just attacked over a question about a car seat. ugh.

[philomom]

I agree. As a hothead.. I did get "dinged" by the old system a few times but I miss having a system. Now folks are implying all sorts of things about one another here, it has really gone down hill.

[Cynthia Mosher]

As we have said in other discussions about this matter you can report a post and should certainly do so if you were attacked my a member. We will look at the reported post and decide how to handle it or if it can stand. Sometimes we post to the thread to redirect and ask for edits.

However, "attacked" has different meanings for different people. If someone posts in disagreement with your opinion or action or gives you critical feedback that is not necessarily an attack. Someone posting "you are an abusive parent" is an attack. Someone posting "You should offer your child healthier foods. Feeding him Cheerios three times a day is wrong." is not an attack.

[Cynthia Mosher]

mamakah if you would like to PM me some of the threads you see have led to the deterioration of the GD and Vax forums I'd be glad to take a look.  

[Snapdragon]

wait- there are no mods anymore?! I Am sort of confused about what is going on here at mdc recently- I also loved having the moderation, I think it kept everything really respectful = why is that not happening any longer?

[Polliwog]

Personally, I think the forums are more balanced more. I'm pretty happy with the change.

[Annie Mac]

Oh, this makes so much sense! I have noticed a definite snarkiness of late. I thought it was a little over-moderated before, but in retrospect, I'd rather have that than the tone of some of the threads recently.

[nigellas]

Originally Posted by Polliwog 

Personally, I think the forums are more balanced more. I'm pretty happy with the change.

Me too.  :)

[Adaline'sMama]

Me too. Not being moderated makes me be more snarky, and I feel like there is just general lack of communication going on everywhere because people are not thinking before they post. And since I came to Questions and Suggestions to post this question and this thread about lack of moderation is already here, Id like for someone to answer my questions:

Does MDC currently host abortion topics/polls/debates?
If I become a supporting member is there anyway that I can hide my profile from the public view?
How many members have joined MDC since the UA was changed to be more lax? Do you (admins) think that MDC is getting a lot more traffic since the moderation has been cut way back?

[treeoflife3]

While it has been snarkier lately, that isn't the fault of less moderation.. that is the fault of children who don't know how to behave in a social setting without a parent keeping them in line.

Granted, I go too far sometimes too (and certainly what I just said could be argued as such) but there is no reason adults can't work together and moderate themselves.  I don't need some three strike rule where I can get strikes that can add up to me getting banned just for accidentally swearing nor do I need someone to tell me I was too rude and 'attacky' and then delete my post.  It is perfectly possible for other adults to say 'hey, that was really rude and attacked themme rather than added to a constructive conversation' without being rude/mean in return and then it would be on me to say 'hey, you are right... I'm sorry, let me reword what I meant.'  It would also be on the other adults to not continue to harp about my rudeness and acknowledge that we all sometimes go too far an to let it go after an apology and rewording has been made.

Some moderation is important, especially for people who are unable to stop being mean or rude or what have you as they might need a temporary or lifetime ban, but as adults it shouldn't be assumed that we need someone there to remind us not to act like children and dole out punishments if we misbehave.  We should all be able to work together to create the atmosphere we want while understanding that over sensitivity won't be possible.  I couldn't stand just how sensitive one had to be before the change in moderation.. people were told to add warnings to thread titles that already included words like 'funeral' and 'miscarriage' because people didn't realize that it would probably be talking about dead people and they shouldn't click on it if they can't handle reading about it.  and like I said... I got a strike towards banning just for accidentally swearing ONCE in a thread about something pretty anger inducing (it wasn't towards anyone, just a general anger swear within a sentence) rather than a warning.  It was too over the top trying to be so considerate of everyone that sometimes I felt things weren't even real depending on the subject.

[Cynthia Mosher]

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 

 Does MDC currently host abortion topics/polls/debates?
If I become a supporting member is there anyway that I can hide my profile from the public view?
How many members have joined MDC since the UA was changed to be more lax? Do you (admins) think that MDC is getting a lot more traffic since the moderation has been cut way back?

Does MDC currently host abortion topics/polls/debates? - You will find your answer here: http://www.mothering.com/community/wiki/terms-of-service

If I become a supporting member is there anyway that I can hide my profile from the public view? - Currently, no. 

How many members have joined MDC since the UA was changed to be more lax? Do you (admins) think that MDC is getting a lot more traffic since the moderation has been cut way back? - There are so many changes that have taken place since we moved to the new platform. There are many new features in place too that have attracted people. We have had an increase in traffic. We have seen plenty of new members. We have had a big increase in unique visits. But is it related to the moderation? That would be hard to pinpoint without asking every person that joins or visits.The change of approach to moderation was a decision we came to after feeling that we had complicated things for ourselves by acting on and changing the user agreement every time we were presented with a new problem. As well, our increasingly tight moderation gave some members an expectation to be protected from every single comment that might hurt their feelings and that got to be a bit too much too cater to and placed us in the position of having to judge intent far more than we felt comfortable with. So we felt it was time to deconstruct and refine to a more simple and straightforward approach to rules and enforcement. We now give our attention to reports and whatever issues we come across that clearly fall into the new UA violations. 

[quaz]

Is there a place that lists all the recent changes, from the entire thing with facebook to no moderators? Both of these I had no clue about, until I happened to see a thread that mentioned it.

At this point in time, I'm finding, while I'm reading, I have stopped all posting until I have a better feel about what is happening.

[Cynthia Mosher]

No, sorry. 

[mamakah]

Originally Posted by Cynthia Mosher 

Does MDC currently host abortion topics/polls/debates? - You will find your answer here: http://www.mothering.com/community/wiki/terms-of-service

If I become a supporting member is there anyway that I can hide my profile from the public view? - Currently, no. 

How many members have joined MDC since the UA was changed to be more lax? Do you (admins) think that MDC is getting a lot more traffic since the moderation has been cut way back? - There are so many changes that have taken place since we moved to the new platform. There are many new features in place too that have attracted people. We have had an increase in traffic. We have seen plenty of new members. We have had a big increase in unique visits. But is it related to the moderation? That would be hard to pinpoint without asking every person that joins or visits.The change of approach to moderation was a decision we came to after feeling that we had complicated things for ourselves by acting on and changing the user agreement every time we were presented with a new problem. As well, our increasingly tight moderation gave some members an expectation to be protected from every single comment that might hurt their feelings and that got to be a bit too much too cater to and placed us in the position of having to judge intent far more than we felt comfortable with. So we felt it was time to deconstruct and refine to a more simple and straightforward approach to rules and enforcement. We now give our attention to reports and whatever issues we come across that clearly fall into the new UA violations. 

Yes, I can see where it would be both time consuming and hard to analyze intent behind every post.  Like I said in OP, I used to feel very censored and would sometimes get "in trouble" for sarcastic comments that were meant to be funny but were read to be offensive I guess.  Maybe moderators could just remind people to stay on topic more?  Most of my problem with some of the threads is that they go way off topic in petty little arguments about someone's wording or smiley. haha. I'll surely report any threads that I find are derailed in the future. Thanks!

[Cynthia Mosher]

We do step in at times to post to the thread to ask people to be respectful and to edit and to keep a topic on track. I'm sure we could do so more often. But for the most part we don't monitor discussions so closely that we can step in at the essential moment and head things off before they get so off track. Often we come to know of a thread of issue after it has derailed and it has turned into a page or more of bickering. Sometimes the discussion has already turned itself back to topic. But sometimes it has not and we do end up with a lot of posting that disrupts the discussion, even for those reading after the discussion has died down. That's unfortunate but I think that we have way more discussions that are smooth, enjoyable and beneficial for everyone and the number of really terrible threads that disintegrate into argument and insult are very few. We do try to handle those few but I'm sure we can do a better job at times. So thank you for the suggestion. 

For years we've had members complain about our moderation, saying they are adults and can behave as adults and sort out their own problems and should be allowed to do so rather than be micromanaged by moderation. I think for many members that is true and for them our moderation changes have been the most beneficial. Unfortunately there are others who have different ideas of what it is to be an adult. They expect everyone to sit back and tolerate the "sort out our problems" part of the discussion they want to have. In trying to give people this space to work through disagreements we hope that it all turns out well in the end and we can get on with the actual topic. But also, unfortunately, there are some people who really do handle themselves poorly. Or they simply enjoy drama, actively participate in it and seek it out. It can be tricky predicting that and whether we should step in and stop something before it gets out of hand or sit back and see how it unfolds.

Moderating is not an easy job. You get a lot of grief and very little thanks. That makes all of our moderators fabulous people in my eyes because I know that what they do is truly from the heart and their love of Mothering and upholding the integrity of our community. 

[Alenushka]

I enjoy the changes because we are adults and I think discussion is more robust now and the members are more diverse.

[Sfcmama]

From my limited perspective, the loss of moderators is just one of many changes that has really changed the tone of the boards. Other changes include:
- popularizing the site through polls, mainstream ads, etc
- eliminating magazine so there's no core discussion/discourse to anchor the community
- resentment and residual snarkyness about the manner in which magazine was cancelled

I don't care for censorship but I do believe a community needs guidelines for how it will censor itself. Lately, it seems like we as a community are not practicing what we preach in our interactions with each other... Or maybe MDC has become too flashy to maintain a NFL tone...?
My sense is that many of the newer members aren't committed APers (by philosophy) - so how do we censor them?!

Just late night musings from a tired mama...

[mamakay]

Originally Posted by Cynthia Mosher 

We do step in at times to post to the thread to ask people to be respectful and to edit and to keep a topic on track. I'm sure we could do so more often. But for the most part we don't monitor discussions so closely that we can step in at the essential moment and head things off before they get so off track. Often we come to know of a thread of issue after it has derailed and it has turned into a page or more of bickering. Sometimes the discussion has already turned itself back to topic. But sometimes it has not and we do end up with a lot of posting that disrupts the discussion, even for those reading after the discussion has died down. That's unfortunate but I think that we have way more discussions that are smooth, enjoyable and beneficial for everyone and the number of really terrible threads that disintegrate into argument and insult are very few. We do try to handle those few but I'm sure we can do a better job at times. So thank you for the suggestion. 

For years we've had members complain about our moderation, saying they are adults and can behave as adults and sort out their own problems and should be allowed to do so rather than be micromanaged by moderation. I think for many members that is true and for them our moderation changes have been the most beneficial. Unfortunately there are others who have different ideas of what it is to be an adult. They expect everyone to sit back and tolerate the "sort out our problems" part of the discussion they want to have. In trying to give people this space to work through disagreements we hope that it all turns out well in the end and we can get on with the actual topic. But also, unfortunately, there are some people who really do handle themselves poorly. Or they simply enjoy drama, actively participate in it and seek it out. It can be tricky predicting that and whether we should step in and stop something before it gets out of hand or sit back and see how it unfolds.

Moderating is not an easy job. You get a lot of grief and very little thanks. That makes all of our moderators fabulous people in my eyes because I know that what they do is truly from the heart and their love of Mothering and upholding the integrity of our community. 

I've been here for forever, as I'm sure you know.

When I first joined, the board was almost unmoderated, which was not a great place for a young mom like me. Then, the moderation swung to the other side,  so I kind of had to quit posting in interesting threads, because just posting in interesting threads was a recipe for a warning/ban. I got "you're about to be banned!" warnings over the silliest stuff. I tried to appeal those warnings to the "kitchen table" but none of the admins would respond to me. (abbi, Jacqui, etc)..

I dunno. I'm just glad to be able to post here again without fearing that every PM is going to be a "You're about to be banned!" mod warning. Over literally nothing.