I miss the moderators. - Page 2

[HappyHappyMommy]

Originally Posted by Cynthia Mosher 

For years we've had members complain about our moderation, saying they are adults and can behave as adults and sort out their own problems and should be allowed to do so rather than be micromanaged by moderation.

Moderating is not an easy job. You get a lot of grief and very little thanks. That makes all of our moderators fabulous people in my eyes because I know that what they do is truly from the heart and their love of Mothering and upholding the integrity of our community. 

Just a quick note to say that I was never one who complained about the moderation (I thought it was a strength), but I also probably never took the time to that the moderators for what I imagine is a very difficult and often thankless job. Thank you moderators past and present; you have helped make my experience at MDC much better and I really appreciate it.

[Earthy Birthy]

Originally Posted by Sfcmama 


My sense is that many of the newer members aren't committed APers (by philosophy) - so how do we censor them?!
 

This is at the heart of what has been keeping me from posting lately. I have thought so many times, "Um, why aren't you posting this over on the <insert mainstream website name here> boards??" 

[philomom]

Originally Posted by Polliwog 

Personally, I think the forums are more balanced more. I'm pretty happy with the change.

I'm not sure I am. We are getting traffic from folks now who have just a couple of posts who are pro-circ or anti breastfeeding past six months. You can gently say to these folks they are in the wrong place but then they get angry at you.

[rcr]

Originally Posted by Cynthia Mosher 

However, "attacked" has different meanings for different people. If someone posts in disagreement with your opinion or action or gives you critical feedback that is not necessarily an attack. Someone posting "you are an abusive parent" is an attack. Someone posting "You should offer your child healthier foods. Feeding him Cheerios three times a day is wrong." is not an attack.

I guess I don't mean "attacked" I mean just people who are very snarky, rude, and who start arguments and seem pretty snotty to everybody. That never seemed to happen before, and I don't know if it is a moderation issue or all of the new people who may be less crunchy or AP than the older posters who found MDC from the magazine. I guess people just seem meaner, and I miss the old mdc. I have found that there are a few forums that the newer less AP less crunchy people stay away from, so I kinda just hang out there and on the few ongoing threads that I check a lot. Like those yurt living mamas with composting toilets... now that's crunchy . If I wanted mainstream, I would call my sister... I come here because I love the crunchy AP mamas and learn so much from them (like we even started using family cloth!)
 

[APToddlerMama]

Originally Posted by Cynthia Mosher 

As we have said in other discussions about this matter you can report a post and should certainly do so if you were attacked my a member. We will look at the reported post and decide how to handle it or if it can stand. Sometimes we post to the thread to redirect and ask for edits.

However, "attacked" has different meanings for different people. If someone posts in disagreement with your opinion or action or gives you critical feedback that is not necessarily an attack. Someone posting "you are an abusive parent" is an attack. Someone posting "You should offer your child healthier foods. Feeding him Cheerios three times a day is wrong." is not an attack.

You know, someone actually called me a "tool" in a post and I flagged it and nothing changed.  I think the namecalling at the very least should be edited out.  I do like less moderation for the most part, but I think some things are crossing the line now. 

[Cynthia Mosher]

Originally Posted by APToddlerMama 
You know, someone actually called me a "tool" in a post and I flagged it and nothing changed.  I think the namecalling at the very least should be edited out.  I do like less moderation for the most part, but I think some things are crossing the line now. 

I agree with you. Namecalling is still not okay But the post was edited to remove the namecalling, yes? So it's not accurate that nothing changed. Action was taken and an edit occurred. What do you feel should have been done instead?
 

[Cynthia Mosher]

Originally Posted by philomom 

Originally Posted by Polliwog 

Personally, I think the forums are more balanced more. I'm pretty happy with the change.

I'm not sure I am. We are getting traffic from folks now who have just a couple of posts who are pro-circ or anti breastfeeding past six months. You can gently say to these folks they are in the wrong place but then they get angry at you.

But they really are not in the wrong place unless they are here to promote mainstream believes as an agenda. Mothering is the place to come to learn about parenting and get information to make informed decisions. So it only makes sense that we encourage people to join and learn. Members who are already firmly settled into AP and NFL parenting can help that come about by being diplomatic and kind or they can create animosity and defensive behavior by being critical/ Or they can decide to not engage at all and leave it to others who can have mutually beneficial conversation with them. Not everyone will embrace everything. We can have members who breastfeed and sling but who choose to circ and vax. We can have folks living off the grid but totally mainstream in their parenting. I think we can make room for most everyone and be tolerant of their choices but draw the line at their advocacy of things that are not in line with our purpose on the web.

[APToddlerMama]

Originally Posted by Cynthia Mosher 

I agree with you. Namecalling is still not okay But the post was edited to remove the namecalling, yes? So it's not accurate that nothing changed. Action was taken and an edit occurred. What do you feel should have been done instead?
 

That is very very very strange, because within the past two days, I have checked back and the post had *not* been edited (and it was from the 22nd or 23rd).  Now I just checked back and it says it was edited on the 23rd, but that is most certainly incorrect because I am certain I saw it still there yesterday or the day before.

And no, there is nothing else I would like done other than an edit, but I am just saying it is odd that I am *just* seeing the edit now.

[zinemama]

As someone who also got warnings for stuff that was entirely inoffensive, I'm happy to see that MDC is again treating adult women like adult women. However, with the board changes (extremely difficult to read, more heavy advertising, the "reviews" on the right, etc.) the drawbacks of coming here sadly cancel out the new policy.

[hildare]

Originally Posted by Cynthia Mosher 

But they really are not in the wrong place unless they are here to promote mainstream believes as an agenda. Mothering is the place to come to learn about parenting and get information to make informed decisions. So it only makes sense that we encourage people to join and learn. Members who are already firmly settled into AP and NFL parenting can help that come about by being diplomatic and kind or they can create animosity and defensive behavior by being critical/ Or they can decide to not engage at all and leave it to others who can have mutually beneficial conversation with them. Not everyone will embrace everything. We can have members who breastfeed and sling but who choose to circ and vax. We can have folks living off the grid but totally mainstream in their parenting. I think we can make room for most everyone and be tolerant of their choices but draw the line at their advocacy of things that are not in line with our purpose on the web.

well.. what i notice about the random mainstream agenda posters is that they are frequently trolls.. but i really must disagree that we can be diplomatic when people are insulting core AP beliefs.  isn't that what mdc is for?  promoting AP?  and having a safe space to discuss AP issues? 

i feel very put off by the snarkiness of late, and what used to feel like an oasis for me doesn't feel like help for me, it feels like i am put on the spot and am being forced to defend my parenting choices ( and why are people arguing about AP issues on an AP forum?  wha?).  it's not creating balanced discussion.  also, i personally resent the polls such as the "is gender neutral parenting harmful?"  that are designed just to draw controversy or traffic.  it seems more like Faux news than mdc.  i really do miss the old mdc. 

that being said, moderators are appreciated, thank you all past & present. 

[SubliminalDarkness]

I understand why changes are being made. But I do have to say I'm kind of bummed. I used to come to MDC because it was a safe place to discuss AP, breastfeeding, and various natural things without people telling you it was "ok" to do something easier. Now it seems like it's kind of a blur with other more mainstream sites. There's still a lot of good resources here, and still a lot of users that are really good at what they do. I do have to wonder how long that will continue with the current path things are taking....

[2lilsweetfoxes]

Originally Posted by philomom 

Originally Posted by Polliwog 

Personally, I think the forums are more balanced more. I'm pretty happy with the change.

I'm not sure I am. We are getting traffic from folks now who have just a couple of posts who are pro-circ or anti breastfeeding past six months. You can gently say to these folks they are in the wrong place but then they get angry at you.

True.  But think about this:  you've never heard of "Mothering" magazine and have no earthly idea what ideals it enspouses.  One day, you see a link somewhere--maybe a Google search or a link on facebook--and explore.  The name "Mothering" seems to imply all sorts of "mothering" styles are accepted and supported.  Maybe a debate thread or forum or two, but overall, you will find support (so long as you stay out of certain forums).  Then to be "attacked" because your parenting style is different.  And how DARE you say I'm NOT ATTACHED to my child?  Just because I don't do xyz?  (Really, just the name Attachment Parenting seems to imply that--if you don't follow the rules, you are not as "attached" as someone who does.)

I remember asking about something, maybe something which swing was recommended for my infant between a couple choices--and the mods shut it down saying they were not interested in hosting such discussions because it was not in line with "natural family living".  So, I'm reserving judgement and have a meeting to get to.

[Polliwog]

I guess I'm a bit more open than some of you (no snarkiness intended.) As a foster (and foster/adoptive parent) I pick and choose which AP tenets I practice. My kids come to me as they are. My son is circumcised and I'm not going to sit around wringing my hands about it. It is what it is. My foster babies drink formula because that's what they drink when they are in foster care. It is what it is. And so on. It doesn't make me any less of an AP parent than someone who nurses their babies. It just doesn't.

[mamakay]

Where are these jerk "mainstreamers" posting at?

The board seems, overall, very pro-AP compared to other forums.

I'm not seeing any anti-cosleeping vibes, or antibreastfeeding stuff.

I do and have done a vast majority of the "AP Checklist" stuff with both of my kids. The boards are still more or less the same guilt-inducing place they always were from my perspective. lol.

[Subhuti]

OK, I am seriously NOT trying to start a discussion on abortion.  I followed the link to the MDC rules to see that debate over abortion is not hosted here.  Totally glad that is the case.

But, is abortion=related discussion allowed?  I can imagine, very well, an MDC mom having to have an abortion and seeking support and knowledge in this community.   Is that allowed?.

I have wondered about that from time to time, but to me the forum rules are not clear.  

Thank you.  Again not looking for a debate, just an answer from a mod.

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by Subhuti 

OK, I am seriously NOT trying to start a discussion on abortion.  I followed the link to the MDC rules to see that debate over abortion is not hosted here.  Totally glad that is the case.

But, is abortion=related discussion allowed?  I can imagine, very well, an MDC mom having to have an abortion and seeking support and knowledge in this community.   Is that allowed?.

I have wondered about that from time to time, but to me the forum rules are not clear.  

Thank you.  Again not looking for a debate, just an answer from a mod.

I am pretty sure that has always been allowed.

[philomom]

Originally Posted by Subhuti 

OK, I am seriously NOT trying to start a discussion on abortion.  I followed the link to the MDC rules to see that debate over abortion is not hosted here.  Totally glad that is the case.

But, is abortion=related discussion allowed?  I can imagine, very well, an MDC mom having to have an abortion and seeking support and knowledge in this community.   Is that allowed?.

I have wondered about that from time to time, but to me the forum rules are not clear.  

Thank you.  Again not looking for a debate, just an answer from a mod.

Yes, we do have a thread or two out there where a MDC mom is discussing terminating a pregnancy. They tend to be support only.

[TCMoulton]

Originally Posted by APToddlerMama 

That is very very very strange, because within the past two days, I have checked back and the post had *not* been edited (and it was from the 22nd or 23rd).  Now I just checked back and it says it was edited on the 23rd, but that is most certainly incorrect because I am certain I saw it still there yesterday or the day before.

And no, there is nothing else I would like done other than an edit, but I am just saying it is odd that I am *just* seeing the edit now.

It doesn't show as edited to me either.

[Subhuti]

Thanks, I just found the support threads in Family Planning.  I'm glad they are available and support is offered.