I've got a difficult situation to deal with. My closest friend and I met in childbirth classes 12 years ago. Our kids are just a few days a part. Her daughter has had a crush on my son since they were 5 (they're 11 now). When they were younger, it was cute and funny. But it's not anymore. And despite numerous conversations with her that my son is not her boyfriend, she still gets pissed off if he does something she deems less than boyfriend-like.
She has ADHD and is at the mild end of the autism spectrum. Sometimes when she gets mad at something my son does or doesn't do, she gets verbally abusive. Or she'll scream cuss words at him. She's gotten violent with him 3 or 4 times in the past year. Once it was slapping, once it was kicking, once it was punching, and last week, it got serious.
They were playing with Nerf and homemade foam/PVC pipe swords in the front yard of my friend's house. We were inside chatting. My friend's daughter came in looking tearfully angry and locked the doors behind her. She said my son was being a jerk. I told her to unlock the door so I could get his side of the story. When he came in, his right cheek was bright red and there was an abrasion the size of a quarter with a lump and bruise already forming.
The story we got is that he'd been trash talking while they were playing, saying things like that her friend (who was there) was better at playing swords than she is. She felt insulted and jealous. As they were playing, he tapped her leg with his Nerf sword and she went ballistic. She called him a SOB and hit him as hard as she could in the chest, on the face, and then threw the sword at him before running inside and locking the doors.
There were no marks on her from his sword. She showed us where his sword hit her leg. It wasn't even pink.
She was still out of control when she came into the house. She was screaming at my son to SHUT UP!!!!!! when he was telling his side of the story. She slammed out of the house and when she came in, she glared at my son and I.
We went home (we live on the same street...) and told my husband what had happened. It was the last straw for him. We agreed that our son can't play with my friend's daughter anymore. I told my friend this and she took it well.
I don't know how to help my son deal with this situation. We live in the same neighborhood. The kids all play at the same park and on the same street. I just don't trust this girl anymore. She's 40 pounds heavier and at least 4 inches taller than my son, and she's already proven that she is capable of violence.