torn

[logansrun]

Hi - I recently weaned my 3 year old from night feeding (no daytime feeding anymore) - except right when she goes to sleep (we co-sleep).  I explained to her what the deal was...at first she only had a few breakdowns in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning.  Then we finally started to get some sleep....all 3 of us!  Last night in the middle of the night she really had a fit - same with this morning....kicking, screaming hysteria.  I feel such guilt but I can't get back to the habit we were in before and I don't want to confuse her.  She wouldn't even let me touch her - that was how upset with me she was.  It breaks my heart.  I worry if I give in that the hysteria when I say no will continue.

I think I need to stick it out but can't help felling like I am neglecting her......ANY ADVICE OR SUPPORT is welcome!

[nelson]

My DS is also recently 3 and we night weaned about 6months ago and basically just nurse in the early morning.  If he is uncontrollably upset during the day, I may offer, but many times (to my surprise) he doesn't accept.  I found the morning times good because it sometimes puts him back to sleep and none of us have the energy to put up with crying about "mursing" that early in the morning.  Would it work to cut out her bedtime nursing session and replace it with another one?  I felt much more freedom once I wasn't the only putting DS to bed at night.  If that doesn't work for you, and you are committed to your schedule, then yes, stick with the plan.  I found it very hard to cut back to the point that we are at, but also found it rewarding to find other ways to connect with DS such as telling stories and cuddling.  I would not have been able to night wean sooner than we did because before this age I felt like DS was too young and sometimes just needed nursing still.  I find that it really helps to talk during times of the day that your child doesn't associate with nursing, about why you are not nursing as much as you did before, you may be surprised by how much your child understands about, Mommy being tired and uncomfortable (insert your own reason here).  It is really hard, but yes, I do think that it would confuse her to give in "sometimes" 

Good Luck

[logansrun]

thank you thank you - i really needed to know that this was going to be ok - eventually :)  I have tried to tell her that mommies boo-boos don't work except when it is time for bed.  She really only nurses for about a minute then drifts off to sleep.  This morning - no problems except not wanting to get out of bed :)  Me too for that matter.  Thanks again - I don't have any friends that have nursed this long.