DH and I have come to the decision that the midwife we hired is not right for us. This is a decision that is in some ways easy but in some ways very difficult. I know it's the right decision, but I really have no idea what the right next step is. She is the only midwife who attends births in the area (we live in a hostile state), so finding another local midwife isn't a possibility. The way I see it, we have several choices.
1) Go unassisted. This is our third child and our second homebirth, so I'm not totally unprepared, but I am not entirely comfortable with this option. I support women who choose it, but I don't feel it is the right choice for me and my family, especially feeling forced into it. I do have a doula, but she is a new doula and this would be her first birth. I am also a doula, but have only attended a few births myself.
2) Call the midwife who delivered my 2nd child and beg her to take me on at 37 weeks. She lives about 6 hours away (we moved since the last birth, or I would have hired her in the first place), which means we would need to either pay to bring her here or ask a friend who lives there to let us stay with them and have a baby at their house. This would be a significantly higher financial burden than we had planned on, since we already paid the other midwife in full, and I can't be sure she will be prompt and cooperative about the partial refund we are contractually entitled to.
3) Go to the hospital. Not an option. I'm only listing it so I can say it's not an option, so nobody posts that we should do a hospital birth. We're not doing a hospital birth. Been there, done that, never again.
Any advice is welcome. I feel completely lost. Also, any information anyone can give me on a crash course in unassisted birth for the unprepared is welcome. Even if we do wind up hiring another midwife, I will feel better if I can start mentally preparing myself for the possibility that we won't be able to in time. And any information on how to handle the conversation with the midwife being fired, from those who have had to do it themselves would be great. I'm really emotional about this, not because I doubt my decision (I don't), but because the reasons leading up to this decision have dragged up a lot of painful emotional baggage from my first birth experience.