Having to tell everyone we are still homeschooling- a vent

[OTMomma]

So, this summer we are moving to an area with "great public schools" and I'm already tired of telling my family and friends that we will continue to homeschool! I'm in the group of people who feels that the American public schools are broken- between the constant testing, the lack of recess and developmentally appropriate curriculum, I just don't see it as good for my kids. On top of that my oldest child is not made to succeed in a public school setting- her strengths and weaknesses being what they are.

My parents especially seem to feel the kids need the public school experience and that I should go back to work ( lately I have been working a few hours a week, but don't know if I will be able to after we move.).

Anyone have any advice on how you've handled this in the past?

[kathymuggle]

Well, I would just tell the grandparents the kids will be HSing for the foreseeable future - maybe all the way through.   It may cause a few "discussions" but better to have them over with now rather than have grandparents asking again and again when they are going to public school.

I would try to keep the discussion brief - you are the parents, you decide on the schooling choices for your kids (just as they did for theirs).  Period.

If you are close, and they live close, I would invite them to occasional cool, well attended HS events so the they can see HSers in action.  It may help allay some of their fears.

As per good schools - ack - what is a good school anyway, lol?  Does ranking mean it is going to fit your child or family beliefs?

Once upon a time I enrolled my child in a school in a new area - everyone had gushed at how good the school is.  Well, he lasted 6 weeks.  It may have been a good school -  it was not a good school for him or our family.

[2xy]

Originally Posted by OTMomma 

My parents especially seem to feel the kids need the public school experience and that I should go back to work ( lately I have been working a few hours a week, but don't know if I will be able to after we move.).

Anyone have any advice on how you've handled this in the past?

Radical honesty.

"This is the lifestyle that suits MY family. You are welcome to be part of it if you can be kind and supportive. Please pass the bean dip."

Really, though, I only had to deal with one or two comments/concerns from family members. We don't live near family and they aren't part of our daily lives. My friends are largely like-minded people, or people who have sense enough to know that they should keep their naysaying to themselves. I break ties with people who cause me too much stress.
 

[2xy]

The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List

10. We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.

11. Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.

[OTMomma]

Originally Posted by 2xy 

The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List

10. We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.

11. Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.

Those are really great, thank you for the laugh.

[SundayCrepes]

Start by looking at it from their perspective. They probably don't understand what homeschooling is. They love their grandkids and want what is best for them. Because they don't understand what homeschooling is, they are worried about their grandchildren.

So, what we did was my husband and I each read http://www.amazon.com/Homeschooling-Rediscovered-Socialization-Education-Family/dp/1430308257/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1306443583&sr=8-1 We found it to be a very gentle book that does a good job of highlighting how good homeschooling is without insulting anyone who is pro-school. Then we gave it to my mother in law (a retired kindergarten teacher who was very against homeschooling.) She read it and emailed me that she wished us luck with our chosen path and the subject has ended.

I suggest you read the book then give it to your parents. Tell them you appreciate how concerned they are and think this book will help them understand how positive homeschooling is. At that point they can either read it and support you (or at least drop the subject) or you tell them as 2xy suggested, "This is the lifestyle that suits MY family. You are welcome to be part of it if you can be kind and supportive. Please pass the bean dip."

[dain]

For me, telling people or not telling people is all the same, lol!  I know what my decision is, I don't really feel the need to talk to people about it much.  I know people are going to agree with it, disagree with it, whatever.  I am usually nonchalant about it.  If someone asks me if we're ready for school etc.  I then respond with, "oh, we homeschool... what grades are your kids in, when does school start?"   I know that's not like a family conversation, but I like to think my attitude is the same with confused/inquiring family members. 

At most I try to reassure their concerns but realize for myself, it is my/our decision.  It seems to help me let it roll off.  I think sometimes the pressure I feel from them stems from my own insecurities. 

Anyway, I think that response was as clear as mud!  Good luck to you, though!