Tired mom needs advice and support

[julesbr]

Getting my daughter to sleep takes FOREVER, and lately it's just getting worse. My husband and I are used to spending an hour or two getting her to sleep at night. This isn't ideal, but it just seems like how it is for her, so we've been dealing with it the best we can.

For the last few months it's been more and more difficult to get her down for naps, so she's often overly tired and can't sleep well at night, either. If we try to lie down with her to settle her down, she will pretend to go night night and then pop up her head and laugh and try to play -- for HOURS. She's obsessed with reading, and will spend an hour laying her head down and then popping it up and asking for another book. 

I've tried to accept that she must have a long winding down process, and that it will get better, but it's getting so hard to be patient. Sometimes it just seems pointless trying to get her down for naps, because by the time she's finally asleep, it's a few hours from time to get ready for bed.

We've coslept since birth. She sometimes naps in her crib (in our bedroom), but she almost always sleeps in our bed at night. We've tried all the advice we've read from Dr Sears to Elizabeth Pantley (The No Cry Sleep Solution) and lots of AP web sites, but she just has a terribly hard time settling down.

To make matters worse, I have several friends telling me that I wouldn't have these problems if I'd just let her cry it out when she was younger. It really, really sucks to hear that their babies go to sleep peacefully and quickly, when my daughter -- who we've spent so much time and energy carrying, cuddling, parenting to sleep -- is having so many problems.

And to make matters even worse, she has a nanny one day a week, and she goes to sleep just fine for the nanny. Does this mean my hubby and I are doing something wrong?

My daughter still nurses, but nursing hasn't reliably put her to sleep since she was much younger, except in the middle of the night, when nursing is the ONLY thing that she wants.

When she won't sleep, we often put her in a carrier and start vacuuming. It works well usually, but I feel like we're failing if we still need to use the vacuum at this point. On the other hand, maybe we've just found what works for her?

She may be teething right now, which could be making the sleep issue worse, but it's still challenging our patience even when it's not so bad.

Anybody have a similar experience and/or advice?

thanks,

Julie

[lapoli]

Do you have any regular bedtime routine for your daughter?  I've found that my son was much  more receptive to falling asleep around the same time if, starting about an hour or so before, we do the same types of things every night.  I'll wear him for a little while and we'll do some quiet housework, then we'll go upstairs and take a bath and by the time we're out of the bath and changing into his PJs, he's really anticipating falling asleep.  Once we get to bed, he falls asleep much quicker.

Don't let mamas tell you that crying it out would have made any difference.  It wouldn't have.  I really think some babies and children have a harder time falling asleep than others and you not allowing your daughter to unnecessarily cry it out alone is a testament more to your love and patience than it is to the other children "sleeping well." 

Finally, I think every parent relies on a vacuum or car ride or whatever to help their child fall asleep sometime.  Or, at least I hope that's the case. :)

[D_McG]

How old is she?

[caedmyn]

You could read the "Sleep Lady" book.  Can't think of the full title off the top of my head but if you google it it's easy to find.  Her method may involve some crying, but it's not CIO and you are in the room with your child while they get used to the idea.