my son does not like to be with me

[poochie]

My son is 18 months old and does not want to be with his mommy.

He much more prefers to be with his dad or grandfather.

I feel like he rejects me. I come from work and he completely ignores me.

Although my husband works too, he gravitates towards him much more.

He comes to me when there is noboby else to go to.

is this normal?

I feel sad and I am starting to wonder if I am a good mom or not.

[kittn]

Im not the expert. but I will say at least 2 of my four boys went through this. it was one or the other parent for a long time. 

[Jill Rae]

Sounds like he feels rejected because you are at work, and maybe he is hurt inside from it. Maybe he is taking it out on you? I am not am expert either. That is just my guess.

Jill

[kittn]

I have heard that theory before Jill. That may be true in some cases. But Usually those cases are children who are not securely attached to mom and have a fear of her leaving forever.

my sons all did it and I was home with them. I think for boys its just what they do and how they learn maybe

[Judy Arnall]

Preferential treatment in favour of one parent is SO common in the early years - especially if the parent is the one that spends the most time with the child.  This is natural, healthy and doesn't mean that your son doesn't love you.  He loves you!  Your job is to not take it personally as it is just a stage.  I've just attended an educational session, on what Dads add to parenting and they add the fun and risktaking and Moms add the nurturing and caution.  Children need both.  If your son is comfortable coming to you when Dad is not around, he has a healthy attachment to you and will be more openly affectionate as he gets older.  Keep loving him and remember that it's not about "you".  (Believe me, this is great practice for the teen years!)

Warmly,

Judy Arnall

Author of Discipline Without Distress and

The Last Word on Parenting Advice

www.attachmentparenting.ca

www.professionalparenting.ca

[mexicali mami]

Just wanted to add that my son prefers his father too.  We are separated for over six months and he continually asks to spend more time with his dad.  I read your post with sympathy and hope that it is a stage he will soon grow out of.  The hardest part is not taking it personally, and continually striving to do your best.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

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