DS1 is 4 y 8 m right now. He is a PERFECT student (at Preschool) with the teachers often telling me how very smart and well behaved he is and how respectful, etc. I KNOW he is a VERY smart little boy (not in a "I'm his mom, of course I think he's smart"; but in a "I'm a speech therapist who's worked with kids and realize my eldest son is smart" kind of way). Now, all of the positives he is/does at school; he is opposite at home.
Yes, i do realize and understand that home is where kids are most comfortable and where they "test boundries" etc. BUT, as I listen and watch him at home (especially re: ds2 and their interactions), I realize that ds1 lies to me rather often. For example, at lunch today, he put something in ds2's lunch. When ds2 said ds1 had done that (I had turned to get them more water), I looked at ds1 who said "no, I didn't put anything in his bowl". when I found the item (a craisin, fwiw), I told ds1 that it was unacceptable to not tell the truth - that he must always tell the truth and that lying is never ok. Later in the day, he lied again about having hit his brother. I told him that time that it is not ok to hit; but that he MUST tell the truth, etc, etc.
I am seriously at my wits end with this. I know it seems "trivial" (I only gave the two most recent examples, there are SO many more!)... but he tells the lie SO easily and looking me straight in the eyes and with NO guilt/shame/feeling of having done wrong (as though it is perfectly ok and right to lie).
Please, please help!
How can I get my son to understand that it is NOT ok to lie and that we MUST always tell the TRUTH????