5yo transitioning at new DC/Summer Camp. How can I help things go smoothly??

[busymama77]

My 5yo DS started at a new daycare on Monday.  The main reasons for the switch was that his younger brother goes where he's currently going, the former school was a good 30-35 minute drive out of our way, he had graduated from his previous school and was going to be starting at this current school once he began Kindergarten in the Fall for half days. 

Before starting at this new school, he knew the Director and other teachers from his younger brother attending since he was 9 weeks old.  But I think it's the kids and the other teachers that he's not familiar with that is making him hesitant on certain things.

I've had a discussion with the Director, about all of this and she's talked to his teacher and others to keep an eye on him and make sure he's doing okay. 

I try to drop him off earlier than usual just so that I can spend a few moments with him in the morning, but once it's time for me to leave, that's when he becomes upset and it makes me nervous to leave him.  I call when I can to check on him and he sounds happy and excited about what he's doing, but you never know.

They have weekly field trips coming up that we've signed him up for and he seems excited about those.

I feel like I'm doing all of the right things, but wondering if there is anything else I can do to help him in this transition.

[monkeybum]

After reading "Hold on to your kids" (by Gordon Neufeld) what I have always done from the time my kids started daycare, and still do when my (now) 7 year old starts at a new camp, is introduce them to the teacher or counselor, ideally a specific one who is going to be at the camp every day (or the main teacher if it's a daycare, the one who will likely be there most of the day; if it's split shifts I will sometimes introduce him to both).  I ask the counselor their name, introduce my son by name, and say to my son "this is so-and-so, if you need anything, he/she will help you, if you need to go to the bathroom, tell so-and-so, if you are having any trouble or need any help with any thing, you can talk to so-and so".  I let the teacher/counselor hear me say this so they will (hopefully) take on that role.

Then I ask the counselor to keep an eye on my son, and to let me know at the end of the day how his day was, and to call me if he gets really upset about anything or if there are any problems.  Sometimes I'll make small talk for a bit if I need to assess if this is the right person to turn my son over to, or if I think DS needs extra time to warm up.  I always let DS hear me say these things so he feels like I trust the person too.  I then turn my son over to this person, and say "okay, go with so-and-so, have a great day", give hugs and then leave (but always stay and spy for a little while to make sure he integrates in to the program ok).

This almost always results in the counselor I have approached in connecting with DS and kind of taking him under their wing, introducing them to the rest of the group, asking if they want to help them do something they need to do at the beginning of the program, etc.  I believe it also helps DS feel not so lost and more secure that he has someone to go to if he needs anything when I'm not there.

I do this at our first gymnastics program or soccer practice with the coach, library programs, etc.  Any time I'm going to leave either of my kids anywhere with a "stranger" they don't know.  It kind of makes them feel like they know someone.  Sometimes, DS will stick with the counselor like glue until he makes friends.

At the end of the first few days (each day) I'll aks DS how it went, if he had any problems, if he told [counselor's name], what the counselor did, etc.  There has been only once that he told me the counselor didn't help him and so the next day I introduced him to another counselor - once even to the camp director who was always present during the camp if needed.  I feel it's important that DS always feels like there is someone there he can go to if needed.

A few times I've dropped DS off at a new camp and not done this and he cries and doesn't want to go, so I find it makes a HUGE difference.  I also feel like I have someone who I can ask about his day and who is looking out for him.

Hope that helps!