Newbie here... Q about O and insemination

[csn75]

Hi all!

I tried a search of the forums, really I did, but couldn't find anything relevant to the ? I have.

So, my DW and I decided to go ahead with the TTC process (we had actually decided last year not to do it due to $$ and the economy, but things are looking up now so we're going to go ahead and try).  Exciting but I feel like Im taking a crash course-- want to conceive if possible this summer so I can stay home with the baby through summer vacation (we're teachers).  So not too much time left before the big attempt (this July).  Have started charting, will buy prenatal vittles this wknd, have an appt with the dr next wk to do whatever's suggested (blood tests etc) to make sure all is ok.  

ANYWAY, so TCOYF says that once high temps are recorded, that means I've O'd and it's likely too late for insemination.  I know we have a shorter window than straight sex couples because apparently frozen sperm has a shorter lifespan than fresh sperm.  We would be using frozen sperm from a bank-- so should I attempt the insemination (either ICI or IUI, haven't decided) the day before I'm scheduled to O or the same day that I record a high temp?  My CM is not always reliable-- last cycle, it was EW and all that but this cycle, wasn't too thick or anything.  But I'm pretty regular so that's a plus.  

Also I noticed that many of you attempt the insemination at around 7 pm in the evening.  Any reason why other than it's after work/dinner? :)

Any tips would be greatly appreciated!  This forum should have a sticky with a FAQ so I wouldnt have to bother yall 

Thanks, thanks...

[Coco99]

Hey !

Its greta that you ask your questions ! Please dont apologize for that !

Thet best place for answers, in my opinion, is this website : http://www.fertilityfriend.com/

You canalso chart on there and it will help you determine your most fertile days depending on your insem method.

Best of luck to you !

Coco

xxx

[prettyisa]

Hey csn75! The thing with temping is that it only really tells you what just happened, and then you make an educated guess about what will happen next based on previous months. Do you get a little temp dip before it goes up when you O? That's usually the day to do the insem. Once the temp goes up it means (if I remember this correctly--someone stop me if I'm wrong!) that your ovaries have released the egg and are producing the hormone that makes your temp go up. The egg lives for about a day and it takes a little while for the sperm to reach it (a few hours, give or take) so by the time your temp is up you're edging towards too late.
Most of the books recommend multiple insems per cycle as a way of hedging your bets. The frozen do die more quickly and it's not a precise science to know when the egg is going to be released, so sending fresh recruits up every 12-18 hours or so can extend your chances of getting the timing right. I think 7pm is just when is convenient for most people (and it's 12 hours after 7am, which is when you'd do the morning one if you have to be at work by 9).
Come on over to Queer Conceptions. You can link your chart to your name and we'll be able to help you make sense of it, and give more advice as you go along. Good luck!

[missme]

Are you doing this at home? If you're using frozen sperm you're best to do an IUI - those defrosted sperm might not make it through your cervical mucus too well. Make sure you buy an IUI kit and your partner learns how do to it.

Also, I recommend using ovulation predictors - you can buy the test strips on the internet for FAR less that you pay for a kit at the drugstore. They;ll tell you that you're likely to ovulate soon, rather than temping - which tells you that you likely already ovulated. I've been told that the defrosted sperm lives for about 12 hours inside your body, so it's a pretty tight window. And ideally the sperm are waiting in the fallopian tube when the egg is released.

Also - don't be discouraged if it doesn't work right away. It's pretty complicated stuff going on in there!

Best of Luck!!!

[kgulbransen]

I'll add to the advice thread. If you want a crash course in how to do it right (which trust me, can save you a lot of time and money!) then get Stephanie Brill's book "Lesbian Conception" and read it pronto. She explains the need to be extremely precise with frozen sperm and when it's best to do it.

Others are right in that temping is not the best indicator of ovulation. You need for three signs to line up best they can (you will learn this in Brill's book). Most use temping, ovulation predictor kits (OPKs), and cervical mucous. You say you're cervical mucous "isn't that great." Do you mean you feel like you don't actually have any or you're having a hard time evaluating it? I could give you a crash course in that but I learned it all from Brill's book. She explains best how to evaulate it. And if you're not getting great cervical mucous, it won't matter for purposes of doing an in office IUI but if you're doing an ICI at home, then you need for your cervical mucous to play a role in getting the sperm up to through the vagina and cervix to the uterus.

Do you know what your cycle lengths are? Do you know how long your luteal phase is (the time between ovulation and when your period starts)? Do you know what day you typically ovulated or have you even pinpointed that yet?

It's always best to get ahead of the egg so everything is about figuring out when you anticipate that egg will drop and getting sperm there about 12 hours before. Frozen sperm only lasts about 12 hours so it's a very finite time you have to pinpoint.

You didn't mention your age or anything else you know about your cycles. Take those vitamins ASAP. You really should have folic acid up to 4 months prior to TTCing so that you can prevent nueral defects. There are also a whole host of other vitamins that are recommended and that many of us are taking.

I'm happy to dispense any knowledge or wisdom I have if it helps to give you a crash course in what you need to know. Feel free to PM me.

Krista

[csn75]

You're all great- many many thanks for your words of wisdom/advice.

I think I saw that book (Lesbian Conception) in a box somewhere- its a leftover from DW's prior relationship- not sure if we still have it.  Will look around for it! Thanks for the rec.

Ok, ovulation predictors- will check out that early-pregnancy-test website someone else mentioned in this forum.  There's a lot of stuff there and now I'm armed with the correct terminology, I think I can navigate my way through :)  

Folic acid/prenatal vitamins- will stop by Sams Club today and grab some.  Know I gotta start now!  

As for my CM, I'm thinking it alternates with each cycle.  I know some doctors say that alternating ovaries are a myth, but I really do see a routine every other cycle (last month, my CM was plentiful, this month it was so-so, next cycle it should be plentiful, and so on).  

Since my summer plans seem to be taking me west to AZ and Southern CA, I'm looking into The Sperm Bank of California (with locations in SD and Orange County) for the first insem.  Since my cycle in July will probably be similar to this month's (meaning CM not very plentiful), Im thinking IUI at the dr's office there (they provide IUI for $300)-- my DW could watch and then we could attempt that from home if needed.  If that doesn't work out and we're not too attached to the donor sperm we choose from CA, I might look into Midwest or NY Cryobank as their shipping rates are reasonable.  I'll probably also go for multi insems if we dont succeed on the first try (I know, chances aren't too high, but crossing my fingers that lady luck looks our way).  I'm 36 and DW is 43, by the way.  

Krista- answers to your question- my cycle averages 27 days.  No to knowing how many days for my luteal phase as I just started charting.  Its looking like I typically ovulate at day 13/14.  

Prettyisa- yeah, interesting.  My temp went up Friday, dipped yesterday (Saturday), and is back up high again (97.8) today.  Yesterday was the day I had marked for O and I felt slight abdominal cramping etc... all the classic signs of O.  Looking at my chart, I would have gone for insem on Friday.  That looks about right?

Off I go to check out www.fertilityfriend.com.  I knew about their charting ability but I hadn't taken the time yet to check out the community/info on their site.  Thanks for the referral, Coco99!

Im really finding this forum a great and valuable resource.  Thanks to all who're actively posting, really!

[osker]

Ooh, small bit of advice when you start the vitamins... try taking them either with your dinner or before bed. A lot of people feel really gross when they take them eaerly in the day or not with a lot of food.

Also, you'll want to choose your bank and do your paperwork as soon as possible. You wouldn't want a paperwork delay to stop you!

[prettyisa]

One more thing, depending on where you live in the country--if you have insurance check to see if it will cover fertility treatment, and what the rules are. In my case we had to do a certain number of doctor-assisted IUIs (that we paid for ourselves) before they'd cover anything, but now they cover most of the treatments we'd consider. It'll depend on your circumstances, but I'd check first just in case they do have this kind of provision because at-home insems usually don't count as far as they're concerned and if you think you'll eventually want to move to a fertility specialist it might save money and time to pay for more supervision up front.

Also, I totally second the vitamins-before-bed theory, especially at first. They're gross for the first couple weeks before you get used to them.

[jennp85]

Since I'm in the same boat, of getting all my ducks in a row and about to start trying, I read through this thread.  I'm checking out fertilityfriend today.  I already have a basal thermometer, but my schedule is all wacky, so I need to get on a regular sleep/wake schedule before it can be accurate.  I've been tracking my period for 3 years and have an app on my phone that I've been using for a while now.  I'm trying to figure out insurance.  I'm about to go back on it for a year because of the new age law; I turn 26 in 3 weeks so that will give me a year on my mom's insurance.  I'm thinking of using Howard Brown Health Center (local queer place) for IUIs but I am also concerned about infertility (though I have no outward signs of it) due to having symptoms of a gluten intolerance (probably celiac disease) for most of my life.  I've been gluten free for 4 1/2 years but I still have issues.  I just sent an email to UofCs celiac center, they have a fertility specialist, and am waiting to hear back.  I went through two cycles with a KD friend and am moving on to frozen open ID.  I feel like I'd be more comfortable working with a fertility specialist because I know they'd be able to handle anything that comes up.  But the cost is an issue if my insurance won't cover it.  I've been taking a regular multi-vitamin that has folic acid for a year now, so I feel like I'd be okay not jumping on the prenatal one.

Best place online to buy OPKs?  Brand and quantity recommendations?  I know it's cheaper to buy bulk but who wants to think they'll need that many!?  If I do buy a ton, I will gladly pass on any leftovers to someone else after I get pregnant.

[csn75]

try the early-pregnancy-tests.com site, i just ordered stuff from there.  very reasonable.  

my prenatal vittles shd arrive tomorrow or Wed, got an appt with the dr tomorrow, etc etc.  am excited to get the ball rolling on this!

[MidwifeStephPDX]

Hi there!

Just noticed this thread and thought I'd chime in about OPKs. The first month that I used them, I wasn't temping and I must have missed it (either stopped peeing on a stick too soon or didn't check at the right time). Because of that, I started temping so I'd know I had actually ovulated.

I've tried the very expensive drugstore OPKs, the ones from Early Pregnancy Test.com and OPKs from Amazon.com. I actually like the Amazon ones the best! They are super cheap, $10 for 50 of them, and work a well as any of the others. I too, didn't want to order that many and have expectations of it taking a while to get pregnant, but the the fact that they're so inexpensive makes it so much easier for me to test multiple times a day. One month I was home sick, and had started to see the line fade in on a stick that morning. I tested at 2pm (because I happened to be home) and got a positive, and then I tested again at 7 or 8pm and the line was already fading back out! If I hadn't had cheap sticks that I didn't mind "wasting", I probably would have missed it that month.

[jennp85]

that is a really good point about buying cheap ones!  if they don't cost a fortune then you won't worry about how many you use.  I have a friend who will be giving me her Clearblue Easy ovulation monitor and I'm asking my mom to buy me a big pack of test sticks for it for my birthday!  If I don't buy it then I won't think about how much money I'm peeing on every day.

[differentfamily]

Jenn85, the monitor is Grreat!!

[jennp85]

So glad to get a second recommendation!  I take it it worked for you, too!? lol.  I'm just sitting here twiddling my thumbs and waiting for Howard Brown's info session in 36 days.  Of course I've already decided on a bank, read all the willing to be known profiles, and decided on my top 5 with some back ups...  I've been absorbing as much information and tracking my temps as best I can.  Sigh, 36 more days to step 1.