I want to be a more positive person

[McGucks]

DH has gently pointed out to me over the years that I have a tendency to be negative and critical.  When he first said it, I was so hurt and upset...but he was right and I have worked to become more aware of what comes out of my mouth and what goes on in my brain.  I have a pretty awful self-esteem, and have paid close attention to the "whys" of my negativity (that old thing about criticizing others so you feel better about yourself).  I have also tried to figure out what I am trying to achieve with negative comments...to gain reassurance from DH?  or from myself?  However, I find that I still battle this frequently and would really like to become a better and more positive person.  Anybody BTDT and have some advice?  Thank you!

[daisymama12]

No advice, but I am striving to be more positive, too...

[Linda on the move]

Gratitude journal! 

Every night before bed, write down 5 things you are grateful for. There aren't any real rules -- you can be grateful for the same things day after day, things that happened long ago, things that happened that day, little things, big things, ANYTHING. But just take a few minutes to think about some of the things you have to be grateful for, and write down 5.

This is a simple, but amazing process. I started it when I was clinically depressed, but as I did it day after day, I started noticing little thing during the day that I could write down. It helped me pivot to going through my day noticing positive things, people, and coincidences.

A spin off of this that we do as a family is go around the dinner table and each person says one thing about their day that they are happy about. We aren't religious, and this is our way of giving thanks to the universe before we eat.

[tinybutterfly]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

Gratitude journal! 

Every night before bed, write down 5 things you are grateful for. There aren't any real rules -- you can be grateful for the same things day after day, things that happened long ago, things that happened that day, little things, big things, ANYTHING. But just take a few minutes to think about some of the things you have to be grateful for, and write down 5.

This is a simple, but amazing process. I started it when I was clinically depressed, but as I did it day after day, I started noticing little thing during the day that I could write down. It helped me pivot to going through my day noticing positive things, people, and coincidences.

I totally agree with this.

Also maybe try doing something small ( or large) that makes YOU happy...a cup of tea and a relaxing book, a bubble bath, some quiet time alone if you can get it, some fresh flowers...whatever, basically nurturing yourself, taking care of yourself in a kind way. :)

Edited by tinybutterfly - 6/14/11 at 4:11pm

[Deir]

 I really like the book "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman

[jeslynn]

I find that I can be that way too. I love the idea of a gratitude journal like someone said above! What I tend to do is just start my day with being positive. I tell myself that today I am going to go out of my way to be positive. Usually that works for me.

[kayleesmom]

btdt but dont have any advice watching this thread.