Help with toddler fear

[t2009]

DS has developed a big fear of ants (and anything that remotely looks like an ant). I am running out of ideas on how to help him handle his fear so that he can still enjoy being outdoors (otherwise, this will be a VERY long summer!).

I can't think of a "logical" source for his fear, nothing that happened that might have started it. Neither DH nor I are terribly squeamish, particularly not with ants & spiders & such.

I've tried a couple of things... assuring him that he's bigger & ants are afraid of him, telling him to stomp the ground to scare them away, telling him that he can hold my hand as "protection." But nothing is working & it's actually getting worse. He now sees them where there are none in sight. He'll just basically jump on my legs & cling on for dear life or become totally frozen.

I will kill ants when I find them in the house (though I will often tell him I'm moving them & sometimes I will remove them to the porch), but I don't want to teach him to deal with this fear by stomping the poor things into oblivion.

Ideas on how to help him through this?

[sapphire_chan]

DD isn't nearly as bad, thank goodness, but she's on her way in that direction.

When I squish ants inside I try to tell her that this is our house and the ants have their house outside and they should stay there. Outside, I remind her that it's okay for the ants to be outside and tell her to step over. But  she still stops for every.single.little.ant and to tell me how it's going to find its mommy, daddy, little brother, and baby and how it misses them, etc etc etc, and that she doesn't like ants.
 

[Nicole730]

I don't have any ideas to help you.  My newly turned 3 year old is absolutely terrified of squirrels, chipmunks, and rabbits in our yard.  He screams like you wouldn't believe and cries for quite awhile because he saw a squirrel.  I just keep reminding him that the animals live outside and they share our yard with us.

[crunchy_mommy]

What about trying some empathetic humor?? Like, start screeching -- "OH NO!!!!!! AN ANT!!!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" or something? And make it into a game?

I have no idea if that will work, but it's the first thing that came to mind...

[konayossie]

DS is inexplicably terrified of the sound of trains--we live about a mile away from a train track. I've tried the same things you have (only in train version :-), and it hasn't made a difference for him either. He seems to be less attentive to the sound lately, so maybe your DS will slowly get past it, as I hope DS is? I would love to hear some great tips to get them over strange fears...

[ellemenope]

You can add DD to the list of 2.5 year olds suddenly and inexplicably afraid of insects.  It started with ants.  For a month or so she would ruthlessly kill any ant she saw.  It made me a little sad.  Then, all of the sudden she started commenting on how they were looking for their mommies or going to school.  She stopped killing them, and then a week later she would have a little toddler panic attack when she saw one.  Now when she sees any insect she freaks out and jumps in my arms.  She also tells me she hates insects and that they are all mean.  And, this also seems to be the age where she will not believe anything I say to counter that.

It hasn't gotten bad enough that I feel I need to intervene.  I just want to wait for this phase to end.  It seems really developmentally appropriate for this age.

[CherryBombMama]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 

What about trying some empathetic humor?? Like, start screeching -- "OH NO!!!!!! AN ANT!!!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" or something? And make it into a game?

I have no idea if that will work, but it's the first thing that came to mind...

haha, this would be hilarious

you said you dont want to stomp the ants into oblivion, but thats what worked for my ds. he now sees any insect and BAM he smashes it and knows its gone and wont bother him. otherwise, he would be jumping onto me like your ds does

eta: our dialog when stomping on the ants is usually something like "stomp stomp stomp! goodbye bugs! go away ants!"

Edited by CherryBombMama - 5/29/11 at 6:36pm

[faithrainbow]

I had a little boy in my home daycare who was terrified of ants, and we solved it by singing "The Ants Go Marching One by One" every time he pointed out an ant.  For some reason the singing soothed him, and made it so that we weren't TALKING about it so much.  Sometimes we'd sing it all the way through, sometimes just a few verses.   I also started telling stories about ants at times when we were inside, esp. at the lunch table (one was an ongoing story about a little ant who was really scared of squirrels.  The mother and father ants tried to reassure him, but he was always scared.  The actual little boy LOVED that story). 

[t2009]

Wow! Glad (sorry?) to see we aren't the only ones going through this!

So DS is obsessed with "workers" especially construction workers so it dawned on my to tell him that ants are nothing more than really industrious workers who build build build... Well it hasn't "fixed" things, but maybe with time he'll start to get interested. (Unfortunately, a friend told me that the big ants we have around here actually do bite... bit his toddler!... so we can't get too friendly.)

But I also love the ideas here so I'm going to try it all because now it's turned into a fear of flies, beetles, bees, inch worms, etc.
 

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 

What about trying some empathetic humor?? Like, start screeching -- "OH NO!!!!!! AN ANT!!!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" or something? And make it into a game?

I have no idea if that will work, but it's the first thing that came to mind...

^^ This is too funny... DS is a real jokester so this might just work!

Originally Posted by faithrainbow 

I had a little boy in my home daycare who was terrified of ants, and we solved it by singing "The Ants Go Marching One by One" every time he pointed out an ant.  For some reason the singing soothed him, and made it so that we weren't TALKING about it so much.  Sometimes we'd sing it all the way through, sometimes just a few verses.   I also started telling stories about ants at times when we were inside, esp. at the lunch table (one was an ongoing story about a little ant who was really scared of squirrels.  The mother and father ants tried to reassure him, but he was always scared.  The actual little boy LOVED that story). 

^^ What a great idea! DS gets so enraptured when I tell him stories or sing, so we will have to try this too... now to look up all the lyrics to the song...

Thanks, ladies!

[hildare]

i wonder if that's how ant farms got invented?  would having one of those to look at help things, i wonder?  or a coloring page with ant parts?  maybe some youtube videos / old nature shows?  they're pretty interesting as far as behaviors and anatomy.

there's also a chris van allsberg (sp?) book called 2 bad ants that's pretty cool.  i like the idea of the song.

(can i just say that i am personally developing a fear of ants myself?  they grow wings - i think- at some point in their reproductive phase and i have been bitten by some very evil flying ants lately.  the horror.)

[t2009]

How have everyone's kids' fears been lately?

DS has been a lot better about bugs & often times doesn't even notice them. He still will tell them to "go away" when he sees them, or he'll stomp to try to scare them (or smash them... can't tell which...).

I think time was the most important thing... just letting him get over it in his own way. But we definitely also used the advice of singing "The ants go marching 1 x 1", telling a story about a little ant & her family that we made up, making a game out of it & screaming... It all helped us deal with it while he got over the fear.

So thanks for all the great advice & I hope other have also moved on from the early summer/late spring fears!

[organicviolin]

My DS was the same way.  He would shriek "hormiga!" (ant, which morphed into the word for all bugs) and run into my arms.  Now he's back to noticing them and being interested.  It seems like a totally normal developmental stage as they now really get what the world around them is like.  I hope we all have our "monster spray" ready because that fear is coming up!!!