Originally Posted by mamayogibear
1. File for child support through the attorney general. They will order a paternity test, they will establish paternity, and they'll calculate child support. If he isn't gainfully employed, they'll impute it based on minimum wage. Time to end the free ride for this guy.
His response to that is one of two things. Either A 'try and find me to get me to pay' or 'my cousin is a lawyer and if you put me on their birth certificate i'll get custody'
And you actually think he's going to get custody? Honestly? What has he done to enrich his childrens lives? Nothing? Thats what I thought - no way will he get custody for being a deadbeat good for nothing.
3. Tell him he has one week to get the dogs out, or you'll take them to the pound. They sound dangerous and quite frankly I'd be worried about having them around my kids.
The dogs aren't dangerous to people at all. and there really sweet and playful with each other. My dog is more of the issue with them since they have their own pack dynamic. I would hate to see something bad happen to them just because he is an a**. I suppose I could put 'for free' ads on craigslist for them.
Nope, take them to his apartment and drop them off. Just get rid of the dogs. If he won't take them, then drop them off at the pound. They aren't your problem. Or, since my bet is that they are pitbulls, see if you can find a rescue near you.
4. Tell him he has one week to get his crap out of your house or you're taking it to the dump or selling it on Craigslist.
I like this idea. whenever I make this suggestion he tells me he'll sue for destroying his stuff or call the cops on me for stealing it if I try to sell it. So I'm not sure what I legally can and can not do with things he bought and might have reciepts for.
Then CYA!!! (cover your ass) Send him an email, AND a letter (certified, or with Delivery confirmation), AND tell him in person and TAPE RECORD THE CONVERSATION. Write in the letter: Date: May 30, 2011 Dear_____, As you know you have stored X amount of furniture in my storage shed. As of Monday June 6, 2011 I will no longer be storing it. You have until then to remove the furniture. If the furniture has not been removed by then I will be taking it to Goodwill, where I'm sure you can purchase it back for a reasonable price. Sincerely, Me.
You may want to check with a lawyer to make sure you are legally OK, but I'm pretty sure you are.
'5. I don't quite understand about the cars, but if they are registered in your name, I would sell them in a heartbeat. This guy owes you five grand that I'm 99.99 percent certain that you'll never get back.
I let him register cars in my name a few years ago, he made it seem like it would help my credit. After selling them to one of his buddys he never gave me the paperwork to take to the DMV. So right now I have no clue who has the cars or how to get paper work for them. I need to find a way to take care of this because I plan on moving to a new town this fall to go back to school to become an RN and the only way I can get there is if I have a vehicle (or take 20 trips on Amtrak)
Do you know who the buddy is? You NEED to find out. Or, you could report them stolen. The problem is, b/c the vehicles are in your name, if they are ever impounded, YOU are responsible for the cost, no matter what it is. It happened a while back to someone I know, and they are now on the hook for THOUSANDS of $$ b/c the vehicle was in their name.
7. Establish massive, major boundaries. He doesn't pay child support, he doesn't watch the kids, he freeloads off of you, he's verbally abusive to you...what exactly does he add to your life besides drama and expense? It sounds like it's time for the two of you to stop hanging out socially, unless it's for visitation with the kids. He will try to guilt trip you terribly, and you need to be immune to it. You could tell him that you only want to communicate via email.
I've tried telling him to leave me alone and all he then threatens to never pay me back, or take my kids away or call the police or kill himself or some other crazy notion that makes sense to him. In the past year that we haven't been together he seems to have become really unpredictable. He is obsessed with a fourm called god like productions and thinks the world is going to come to an end and all sorts of conspiracies are out to get us...
Go to family court and get a restraining order. That should take care of him.