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How Often Do School-Aged Children Cry? - Page 2

post #21 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post

A lot of this is just personality. Some kids are very emotional and dramatic, and cry a lot. My toddler cries much less than my dramatic and intense 9-year-old. To me, the important thing is to not get dragged into the drama. Let them cry but stay solid and calm. For my dramatic child, things start to snowball if someone else gets emotional too and that ends up feeding the drama. But being calm is like a rock to hold onto and helps her.


This. Some kids are just more emotional or dramatic. It's a temperament issue.

 

post #22 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by ssh View Post

This. Some kids are just more emotional or dramatic. It's a temperament issue.

 



That is true, but given the magnitude of loss OP's kids have had to deal with as well as the challenges that blending families can create, I think it would be a really huge disservice to these kids to assume that it is nothing more than a temperament issue and to ignore the *very* real possibility that they are still really hurting and need to continue processing their loss and the changes they have experienced. 

 

post #23 of 23

I would also agree that this seems outwith the "normal" range.  Children can and do go through more emotional phases from week to week, month to month (hey does that sound familiar to our monthly cycle?)

 

I also think that crying is a wonderful way in which children can express their grief, outrage, disappointments without having to talk about them.  As adults, we will phone a friend, vent a little in a conversation and process our world that way.  For children they can just spill over the emotions into tears much more easily.  It's a gift really.

 

And I think that persistant and regular crying and disappointment  for children of these ages is more likely to be deep-seated grief. Have you considered (as others have mentioned) bereavement counselling in the form of play or art therapy for them?

 

And to let them cry - validate their tears, make sure you let them know your can hear them and understand their upset...that really helps children move  through the tears to find their own natural resolution...

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