Will he resent us? - Page 2

[Smithie]

Since everybody seems adamant that it's not OK to buy the birthmom's consent for sibling contact, then individual and family counseling to help your son process the loss of his birth family seems like the only way to help with this, OP. Maybe - hopefully- his birthmom will allow more contact as time goes on. Or maybe - not hopefully, because God knows what would have to happen to the younger kids to bring this about - you'll eventually have all the siblings placed with you.  

[krisnic]

Sorry it took so long to reply.

My son's BM (which is exactly what he refers to her as, by saying the letters - he means nothing else by it except that it's short for birthmom) does have a substance abuse problem. We have offered her gas money to get to the park to have a visit, but that's as far as we will go. It doesn't appear to matter though, because she told her son two days ago that he is "dead" to her and she never wants to see or speak to him again. He appears to be handling it okay, but is still concerned about his siblings. I spoke to a PI today and am hopeful about it, and will look into a sibling petitioning for visitation rights. We are in Michigan, not sure if anyone is familiar with that process here. We will do anything to try to make this happen.

We do intend to continue with counseling. DS didn't want to go, but appears to have warmed up to it as long as we go as a family. Our first session together went really well, and I feel like we are understanding more as a family.

[Smithie]

"...she told her son two days ago that he is "dead" to her and she never wants to see or speak to him again."

Ouch. 

[WifeMomChiro]

Hugs to you mama.  I hope you can get some sibling visitation rights for your son.