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Anybody like to edit?

post #1 of 2
Thread Starter 

I'm not sure if this is the best forum for this, but here goes.  My DH just completed a screenplay that he is submitting for review to various people. So far he is getting good feedback from it from multiple sources, which is promising.

 

He is trying to get a tagline that gets at the heart of what the screenplay is about, yet is concise and revealing.  He is not known for his brevity and efficiency (but I still love him).  He is also an attorney by training, so he is not sure how the Hollywood writing scene works, but he truly enjoys the process of writing for pleasure.  Any gifted writers/editors want to take a stab at writing a one sentence tagline for the script?  This is a paragraph summarizing the script.

 

A doctor is fired by a large health-system's medical director in retaliation for the doctor having complained about sexual harassment.  The medical director videotapes the termination meeting, and later hands the doctor the video, saying in effect, here's a smoking gun, just try and sue us for unlawful job termination but if you do we'll ruin you.  Let the truth be enough for you, and move on. The doctor sues. The lawyer that represents the doctor finds that the health corporation has the system rigged (via funding the judge's election, and other modern-world-inspired events), and is involved in much broader and more troubling activities. The lawyer also doesn't have clean hands, as is revealed along the way.
 

 

If you bored and/or interested enough read to screenplay, I can PM you the PDF file as well.

post #2 of 2

Karen McQuestion (bestselling self-pubbed author) has a great method  for writing descriptions:

 

Here's the link. http://mcquestionablemusings.blogspot.com/2011/01/my-method-for-writing-book-description.html

 

Once you have it down to a tight paragraph you can boil it down to a sentece easier.

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