Looking For Black, Christian, Natural/"Crunchy" Mommies in My Area

[selahsmommie]

Hey Folks!

I hope this thread doesn't receive any backlash for being racist or anything b/c that's not where I'm coming from. I live in So Cal (LA County near OC) and I am a Black, Christian, Single, Natural/"Crunchy", BFing, SAHM. I'm looking to connect with other like-minded mamas (single or not) in my area.

I looked at Mocha Moms, but I don't drive, so I can't get to where they are in a timely or effective manner, and can't really afford their dues to be a member. I just wanna meet up from time to time and have an outlet with moms like me. Most all of my mommy friends don't necessarily agree or understand the way I'm choosing to bring up my DD and my sisters don't have any children, so it'd be lovely to be able to talk and laugh and vent to folks who dig what I'm going through (single or not).

Look forward to hearing from you guys!

[philomom]

Hey momma! Go over to the Finding Your Tribe forum and try this post again under California.. be sure to include the name of your nearest city of size. You should have better luck posting there.

[bremen]

you hope not to receive any backlash, but post that you are only looking for friends of your own race?

that is prejudice.

would you be accepting of someone else posting that they were looking for white-only playgroup?

hoping that you don't get negative replies does not negate your bigotry.

[selahsmommie]

SIGH! This is PRECISELY why I gave the little disclaimer in the first place because I DID NOT want this thread to turn into THIS discussion.

I need you to take a look at this site and sites a lot like it. What do you see? I can tell you now that it's not TONS (or even LOTS or even MANY) of Black or even Brown faces! I AM in CONSTANT communication and fellowship with white mamas who are bringing up their babies the same way that I am. The fact is, white mothers DO have groups of their own, it's just not ADVERTISED that they are white only. I've BEEN to mommy and me groups in my area. Not a Black face in the crowd and the fact is, as a Black and SINGLE mom, there are difficulties that I face that YOU NEVER WILL! There are difficulties my little Black baby girl will face that a little white girl NEVER WILL (please check out the Psychology Today article about Black women being the LEAST attractive women ON EARTH!!!)!

So, if I wanna find a group of women who are LIKE ME then I need YOU to get off my back until you walk a good mile in my shoes. Thanks.

[selahsmommie]

Thanks. I appreciate the info and will do!

[scottishmommy]

OP, I totally understand why you would be looking for other black mamas for support. I don't think it's bigoted at all to want a few friends with similar backgrounds and beliefs. I think you should post in the "finding your tribe section". Also, have you ever heard of www.meetup.org? You may get some luck with that. Do you belong to a supportive church? I've met a lot of great mama's at my parish. Good luck!

[Viola]

She probably knows where to find white women or white crunchy women or even white, crunchy, Christian women in her area...she is having problems finding black, crunchy, Christian women in her area, so she's asking here.  That she is asking here shouldn't be a problem, honestly.

[les_oiseau]

I hope you find what you're looking for!   btw, please don't take this the wrong way but...
 

Originally Posted by selahsmommie 

 (please check out the Psychology Today article about Black women being the LEAST attractive women ON EARTH!!!)!

if you are reading something like this you should not allow it to affect the way you see yourself, your dd, your fellow mamas of any race. Personally this kind of article makes my blood boil. Why would anyone try to promote that kind of idea, let alone publish it in a magazine like that........................

[muttix2]

Not in your area but I second the meetup.org suggestion. I tried using it myself but then chickened out (I don't drive either and didn't want to use public transport to get somewhere, only to have it be something I was not comfy with and have to turn around and take that trip again) but there are lots of opportunities on there.

BTW, I'm mixed myself, and I understand wanting to have people who are visually similar to yourself, as well as your (assuming here) already wonderful friends. I have friends of many ethnicities, but unfortunately I don't have any that are mixed. Sometimes I wish that I had crunchy mama friends who were also mixed to share some of the things that are commonplace to me, but not so much in any of my single-raced friends' lives. So I completely understand you on that. But, I see that you have very few posts here and I just wanted to let you know, you will get backlash here for posting things like this. I learned long ago that this is definitely not the place where people understand what it is to be a minority, overall. (Obviously, I am not talking about each and every individual on this board, just the general feeling I witnessed when posts with race mentioned were more prevalent.) It is one of the reasons that I've stopped posting/visiting this site as much as I used to. Good luck to you!

[Gucci&Granola]

Originally Posted by muttix2 

BTW, I'm mixed myself, and I understand wanting to have people who are visually similar to yourself, as well as your (assuming here) already wonderful friends. I have friends of many ethnicities, but unfortunately I don't have any that are mixed. Sometimes I wish that I had crunchy mama friends who were also mixed to share some of the things that are commonplace to me, but not so much in any of my single-raced friends' lives. So I completely understand you on that. But, I see that you have very few posts here and I just wanted to let you know, you will get backlash here for posting things like this. I learned long ago that this is definitely not the place where people understand what it is to be a minority, overall. (Obviously, I am not talking about each and every individual on this board, just the general feeling I witnessed when posts with race mentioned were more prevalent.) It is one of the reasons that I've stopped posting/visiting this site as much as I used to. Good luck to you!

While I understand your reasons for backing off, please don't give up on this site altogether.  I am also mixed, and raising an interracial daughter in a complicated extended family environment.  Places like the Mothering Forum need diversity.  As painful as it can be to come up against uneducated bias over and over again, if you can stomach the occasional negativity someone is bound to learn from your unique experience.

Also, FYI to everyone regarding the Psychology Today article on why black women are the most unattractive women on earth.  As a reputable magazine I found their inclusion of that article and "study" reprehensible and disgusting.  Luckily so did many others.  Color of Change (an activist group that strives for racial equality) got them to retract the article and apologize for its publication.  Unfortunately the entire incident proves what a long way we still have left to go.