Paul is 4. We just don't know how to deal with him, totally lack the tools. I know that we are at fault for many our current issues with discipline because of lack of consistancy and, well laziness, but we don't know where to even begin. I am truly at the point of thinking spanking would work, even though I know in the long run it doesn't. You get 'good' behavior because the kid scared, not because they WANT to do 'good'.
Right now it seems as though he runs the house, I would call him a brat, I am afraid to have people over or take him to places like other peoples homes or play group type settings/classes. He NEVER listens, ever, unless you scream your head off at him. It doesn't matter if he's hurting you, breaking something, messing up something...........................sometimes if you threaten him with no tv or taking away something he will stop, for a little bit, but that's not how I want things to go. I wouldn't want to be constantly threatened. We have tried just focusing on 'respectful interactions' you know, not hitting people, stopping when some one asks you to stop (like him jumping on you, or sitting on you, pulling on your clothes, running at you. Or even messing up my piles of laundry I'm folding, throwing stuff on the floor...), not throwing trash on the floor, picking up clothes and dishes instead of leaving them on the floor (that mostly comes from my hubby who is super bad about that).
If he's mad, he'll hit you, kick, yell and scream. I tried time out for a bit, but it didn't seem to be working. He'd hit his sister then ask 'am I in time out?' get the timer and turn it himself. It must not have been enough of a consequence for him. Plus it was just a huge fight anyway, getting him to sit there, not talk, not play, not have his sister come over and play with him, not have him screaming. It was too much, plus I did not at all like it. Felt to controlling.
How do you find a natural consequence for things like hitting your sister, parent, dog? Our house is very small, and my hubby works nights, so we can't just leave the room (we have the 'front' which is living/kitchen, and the 'back' which is a hallway with bathroom/laundry and the bedroom, there is a door that we put up to seperate the front and back). I know most say to remove yourself, but that wouldn't work for us, there is no where to go. I could go outside, but he can open the door, so that's pretty pointless.
I just really have NO idea what to do. I am so lost and very frustrated. Just while writing this I have had to pull him off the stool twice for getting in the freezer for ice cream. He can undo the locks. Why can't he just LISTEN. we are not having ice cream right now, maybe later.