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Loaning money to friends -what do you think? - Page 3

post #41 of 58

I also wonder how many other people this person has done this too.

post #42 of 58

Lesson learned. First, you didn't have the money to loan. The money was for something else. I know you thought you would get it back when she said, because that is what she said, but loaning money is like the stock market. The money is not safe. You should never loan money you can't afford to get back.

 

But even if I had the money to burn, I wouldn't have loaned it.  Who really needs $600 for groceries for a weekend? Seriously, what kind of phone bill could there have been.

 

If I thought they were in need, I would have dropped off some groceries to tide them through the weekend and perhaps lent a DVD for older kids or dropped off some new art supplies or something for younger ones.

post #43 of 58
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JudiAU View Post

Lesson learned. First, you didn't have the money to loan. The money was for something else. I know you thought you would get it back when she said, because that is what she said, but loaning money is like the stock market. The money is not safe. You should never loan money you can't afford to get back.

 

But even if I had the money to burn, I wouldn't have loaned it.  Who really needs $600 for groceries for a weekend? Seriously, what kind of phone bill could there have been.

 

If I thought they were in need, I would have dropped off some groceries to tide them through the weekend and perhaps lent a DVD for older kids or dropped off some new art supplies or something for younger ones.


This is a family of 10 who has a family business run out of their home.  They live in another state, so I couldn't drop off groceries.  And I got the call on a Friday afternoon--so I couldn't even direct them to an open food pantry. 

 

I've certainly learned my lesson!  

 

post #44 of 58

UGH. at least it was only 600 dollars. we were taken for 10k.

post #45 of 58
Thread Starter 


DANG!  How'd that happen?
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by texmati View Post

UGH. at least it was only 600 dollars. we were taken for 10k.



 

post #46 of 58

pretty much the same way. someone we trusted asked us for it; and told us they would give it back to us in a certain time frame. they did not.

we were in a similar situation of being far away and not having any other way to help (or a real handle on how bad their situation was).

 

Unlike you, we didn't have a good handle on our money and thought that we could afford it. One additional baby later, I"m now SAHM-ing, and we feel that  money really could have put that money to better use.

 

I will never loan any money to anyone again. I do not have the heart for it.


Edited by texmati - 6/24/11 at 7:31pm
post #47 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by 34me View Post

I have a rule of thumb that you only ever loan money that you can afford not to get back. 

 

this exactly.   
 

 

post #48 of 58
Thread Starter 


Thank you for being gracious, but we really don't have a good handle on our money either.  We have no savings, which is why this was such a stressor.  My dog is recovering from an illness with a vet bill of $667 so far this week, and I had to use mortgage money for it.  Our vet doesn't make payment plans or have Care Credit.  :(  Thank God for 5 paycheck months! 
 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by texmati View Post

pretty much the same way. someone we trusted asked us for it; and told us they would give it back to us in a certain time frame. they did not.

we were in a similar situation of being far away and not having any other way to help (or a real handle on how bad their situation was).

 

Unlike you, we didn't have a good handle on our money and thought that we could afford it. One additional baby later, I"m now SAHM-ing, and we feel that  money really could have put that money to better use.

 

I will never loan any money to anyone again. I do not have the heart for it.



 

 

post #49 of 58

I don't ever lend money now. I have been burned as well and learned my lesson. : (  I haven't read any of the other posts but i hope you get your money back. 

post #50 of 58

These people sound like they are somewhat entitled.  Especially if she is making a big deal out of eating "humble meals" and "this is not the trailer park" kind of crap.  

 

You are a very sweet person and tried to help someone out.  Sorry you lost your money (and it does sound lost)  I encourage you to tell your husband.  Apologize.  And then figure out what you will do next together. 

 

I never loan money.  no matter how dire the situation.   The best I can do is give someone $20 for groceries and hope someone will be there for me when I need $20 for groceries. :)

post #51 of 58
Thread Starter 

Thank you, ladies.  :)  Believe it or not, my mom getting the lady's husband involved has led to $400 of the $600 getting paid back.  Maybe it's an ego thing?  No word on the other $200, but since I've received 2 $200 payments so far, maybe I'll get that back. 

 

I did tell my husband.  He didn't freak out about it or anything.  He understands that I was trying to help and believed them when they said they'd pay it back within a week.  WHEW!  happytears.gif

post #52 of 58

good for you! after I read this post i goaded my hubby into talking to our 'lendee' as well. Still no payback, but at least the conversation is still going.

post #53 of 58

I'm glad you've gotten some of it back!

post #54 of 58

Glad you got 2/3 of what you had coming and I hope you get the rest. Glad your mom got involved and I agree w a pp, it sounds like this couple is feeling quite entitled.

post #55 of 58

I wonder if you got most of the money back because the husband had not known about it before your mom got him involved.  

post #56 of 58

I have to wonder if the husband had no idea.   His reaction seems as though he was caught off guard and humiliated.  

post #57 of 58
Thread Starter 

Yeah, I've wondered the same thing.  But still, his hostility is misdirected.  If it caught him off guard, he needs to take it up with his wife.  The last time I talked to her, she told me they'd been to court about eviction that day.  My mom mentioned that to the husband and he replied, "I have no idea what you're talking about and neither do you."  Not sure how to take that. 

post #58 of 58

that sounds so shady... glad you got some of your moolah back op!

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