But there is behavior that is fine for teens/young adults that isn't stuff that younger kids need to be a part of. I think drinking and partying is part of that.
I think that some of the stuff I let my teen DDs watch on TV or DVDs would be totally off limits if we had a 7 and a 4 year old spending the night. Heck, some of the stuff I'm fine with my kids watching is off limits when they have younger friends over!
To me, a drinking party in the back yard doesn't mix with a little kid sleep over. That grandma doesn't get that shows a lack of judgment IMHO.
I totally agree with this. I'll bet you're surprised, Linda ;). Sure, its not of OP's business how her mom deals with her son, but it is at OP's discretion to decide how to parent her own children, and putting them in a risky situation is a bad idea. Sexual abuse aside, young men getting drunk and partying around kids is totally 110% inappropriate and I would never subject my kid to that. And to pp who said that they would be offended if someone said their adult kid's friends couldn't be trusted not to molest children--I am sorry but there is no way for you, grandma, or anyone else to guarantee that isn't going to happen. Yes, I might be offended if someone said that about my son, but his friends? Certainly nobody can make that type of promise about their adult son's friends, and anyone who does is apparently unaware of just how common sexual abuse is. OPs responsibility is to her kids, not to someone's hurt feelings over the fact that she is being an adult and protecting them as she should.