TTC and Partner wants custody as well....Any suggestions?

[jkkoutek]

My Partner and I have decided we are going to start TTC July 2011.  She just asked me if there is a way that she would be able to be on the birth certificate or adopt the baby.  I don't really know what the steps would be and of course MN doesn't have legal same-sex marriage.  We have a civil union from VT but it doesn't apply here.  If anyone has any ideas or know of any resources it would be greatly appreciated!  Thanks, Janene

[CascadiaMama]

Plymouth is in Hennepin County, correct? (I'm originally from St Paul!)

Looks like second-parent adoptions have been successful in Hennepin Co. Your partner wouldn't be on the birth certificate right when baby is born, but after the adoption goes through (takes a couple of months in Oregon, not sure how long in your area), I believe an amended birth certificate is issued.

An adoption is the way to go even for us in Oregon, where we have a domestic partnership and my partner will be on the birth certificate from day 1. In reality, the birth certificate doesn't carry with it much legal protection, especially if you leave the state it was issued in.

[CascadiaMama]

Oops, meant to include this link for MN info: http://www.outfront.org/programs/legal/adoptions

[Diane B]

Yes, every judge in Hennepin County will do a "second parent" adoption after the birth.  I would recommend getting an attorney recommendation from OutFront (see link above) or you can PM me for the name of our excellent attorney.  He or she can do all the paperwork and file it, and appear in court with you.  You can also draw up temporary legal papers during the waiting time between your child's birth and the adoption that express your intent that should anything happen to you, you would want your partner to have custody.  We even got notarized letters from our parents to the effect that they understood this. 

After the second parent adoption, a new birth certificate is issued with both of your names on it.

Good luck!