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Your FAM/NFP "Big Fat Oops Babies": what was your mistake?

post #1 of 36
Thread Starter 

Mine: I had a fever the morning of the same day I was expecting ovulation (so my temp had spiked to what it usually did after ovulation).  A few days later, I knew I was taking a chance and that I should wait one more day to enter the safe zone, but I thought that the risk was so minuscule.

 

Minuscule indeed.

post #2 of 36

Mistake #1:  assuming my ovulation couldn't possibly happen massively early one cycle and that sperm couldn't live for five days.  In other words, ds was conceived with 5 day old sperm on CD 13 when my average O day from over 2 years of charting was CD 20!!!  Had we followed  the rule of 20, I would have known that DTD was not safe past CD 6.

 

Mistake #2: assuming my LP was still too short to be fertile and that ovulation was not near b/c I had no fertile CF.  Basically I had only had one pp cycle, which was 59 days long, O on CD 55, 4 day LP.  My second cycle was shaping up to be long as well,  we DTD once and I O'd the next day with no fertile CF and some how my LP was long enough for implantation.   Even though it took my cycle over a year to regulate after my first, I should not have assumed the same would be true after my second.

post #3 of 36

I haven't had any oops babies yet, but I'd love to see your oops charts if you have them!

post #4 of 36

Is there any easy way to share old charts from FF, not just the current chart?

post #5 of 36
Not realizing that sperm apparently can live a really long time! And, deciding to do it without a condom, because I was sure I wouldn't O for several days. I didn't O for several days but at least one of those little suckers was still alive. The one we can't imagine living without now though!
post #6 of 36

Assuming that just because I hadn't had a "normal for me" cycle yet post-partum, I wouldn't have one that month--ie, up until then, I'd had 4 PP cycles and they all had a really late O and short LP.  Plus, I'd had about a week of increasingly fertile CM before O each time, so I thought I'd have plenty of warning.  Instead, I had 3 days of suddenly fertile CM, and O'd exactly 5 days after we DTD and am now excitedly looking forward to welcoming our "Oops" baby in 2 months!

post #7 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaimee View Post

Is there any easy way to share old charts from FF, not just the current chart?



screen shot?

post #8 of 36

This is my mistake #1 chart (see above post for explanation).

 

April 2009 chart.png


Edited by Jaimee - 6/2/11 at 1:10pm
post #9 of 36

Mistake #2 chart (see above post for explanation)

 


Feb 2011 chart.png

 


Edited by Jaimee - 6/2/11 at 1:15pm
post #10 of 36

I can't see them, Jaimee.


Edited by JMJ - 6/1/11 at 7:01pm
post #11 of 36

Ever since having DD1, she was almost 8 when I got pg with this last baby, I had delayed O. Never once in those years did I ever ovulate before day 20. Prior to having children I was a textbook day 14 ovulater. My LP would be all over the place, the length of the cycles varied drastically but the only thing I could count on was at least 15 worry free days. Ha! In order to have gotten pg this time I would of had to of ovulated within the first week of my cycle, basically when I was still having AF. 

post #12 of 36

Bourbon. Lots of it.

post #13 of 36

Dang!  Okay, how do I do a screen shot?  redface.gif

post #14 of 36

That depends on your computer.  It looks like you tried copy/pasting it directly from your browser, and it copied it as a link that doesn't work.  You might click on your chart and try saving it as a picture, then click on the picture icon to "insert image" above the text box that you're typing in, and select your saved picture.

post #15 of 36

Our "oops" happened because we took a chance on the morning of the second day of a temp rise. Turns out that temp rise was a fake because the next morning, I had the lowest temp I had had all cycle. So we basically DTD twice the day before O. shy.gif That pg sadly ended in a M/C but we went on to get pg with the little one that is currently kicking the top of my belly because I've been sitting for too long!

 

chartgraph_module.php.png

post #16 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by JMJ View Post

That depends on your computer.  It looks like you tried copy/pasting it directly from your browser, and it copied it as a link that doesn't work.  You might click on your chart and try saving it as a picture, then click on the picture icon to "insert image" above the text box that you're typing in, and select your saved picture.



I right-clicked and saved as a pic and then inserted the image.

post #17 of 36

Okay, I saved and inserted.  Let me know if you can see them now!  And I'd love to hear your thoughts on my O date for mistake #2... not sure I agree with FF.

post #18 of 36

I can see them now, Jaimee.  Assuming mucus observations were done properly, both are technically method failure by CM-only NFP methods.  Baby 1 was the most common method failure in the sympto-thermal method (and the reason why there are multiple phase I rules: some women's bodies just don't give them enough warning before O'ing.), and Baby 2 was from user error according to the sympto-thermal method.

 

For #2, I would put O on or around Day 20 (Day 21 is first day of temp rise), but it was definitely BD on Day 19 that got you pregnant.  Once you have CM in a cycle, you cannot assume that you are infertile (except before your first PPAF and during some stages of perimenopause, though I admit I don't know enough about that) until you have had an adequate temperature rise.  Once you have any CM, you are in the fertile phase, and it is risky business to declare yourself not to be potentially fertile after that until you have clear signs of ovulation.

 

#1 is harder.  How many cycles did you have postpartum that you charted?  Your husband's sperm may or may not have actually been 5 days old.  CD 13 is only an estimate.  You could have O'ed as early as CS 10.  Your average O date means very little if you are prone to irregular cycles.  What was your earliest first day of temperature rise?  What was your shortest cycle length?  At the end of the April CTA thread and copied near the top of the May thread, you may have seen some other phase I rules that I gave for people who need a little more accuracy than the Last Dry Day Rule (the most common STM failure).  I would encourage anyone who has fewer than 3-6 months experience charting or has a history of mucus patches under 6 days to rely on a more strict rule than the Last Dry Day Rule.

 

When referring to previous history, don't look back more than 2 years.  What your cycles were like when you were a teenager doesn't mean much in your 30's.  Also note that after you have a baby, everything changes.  If you breastfeed ecologically, you may very well have not had any cycles in the last 2 years, and even if you don't you are much safer assuming that you don't have any history, and if you can't trust the Last Dry Day Rule, you shouldn't go past CD 6 until you have 6 cycles of history postpartum or until you are having fertile (adequate LP) cycles, whichever comes later, if there is a strong need to postpone pregnancy.

post #19 of 36

Um, being lazy and discussing with DH that I didn't know exactly where I was on the chart, didn't feel like getting the chart, and hey, we want more kids eventually anyway, so let's just enjoy ourselves and whatever happens happens. "After all, it usually takes a coupla months of trying anyhow right?" He was going away on business shortly thereafter. Sometimes it only takes once! 

post #20 of 36

Thank you for all the information!!  I've answered/responded below...
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by JMJ View Post

 

For #2, I would put O on or around Day 20 (Day 21 is first day of temp rise), but it was definitely BD on Day 19 that got you pregnant. 

Well, considering this was the ONLY time we DTD that cycle, that part is obvious!   lol.gif

 

Once you have CM in a cycle, you cannot assume that you are infertile (except before your first PPAF and during some stages of perimenopause, though I admit I don't know enough about that) until you have had an adequate temperature rise.  Once you have any CM, you are in the fertile phase, and it is risky business to declare yourself not to be potentially fertile after that until you have clear signs of ovulation.

 

Yes, certainly I see this to be quite true now, but with that one day of EW followed by dry for a long time, I was shocked that I would O with no fertile CF.  I was waiting for another patch of EW and thinking this cycle would be long like the previous one (59 days with a 4 day LP).  I don't think I have ever O'd without at least creamy CF.

 

#1 is harder.  How many cycles did you have postpartum that you charted? 

I had charted 19 cycles!!

 

Your husband's sperm may or may not have actually been 5 days old.  CD 13 is only an estimate.  You could have O'ed as early as CS 10.  Your average O date means very little if you are prone to irregular cycles.  What was your earliest first day of temperature rise?  What was your shortest cycle length? 

O'ing on CD 10 would be a real shocker.  My earliest O was CD 16 and that same cycle was my shortest cycle with 26 days (my average LP is 10 days).  My average O day has not varied much over years of charting (taking out crazy irregular cycles postpartum where I O'd on CD 55 for example). 

 

...you shouldn't go past CD 6 until you have 6 cycles of history postpartum or until you are having fertile (adequate LP) cycles, whichever comes later, if there is a strong need to postpone pregnancy.

 

Yes, this would have prevented both mistakes.  Though, with #1, I did have adequate LP lengths and as I mentioned above, had 19 cycles charted.  I didn't know about the 20 day rule, but this would have prevented this oops.  With #2, I made the huge assumption that my second pp cycle could not have a fertile LP and that I wouldn't O without fertile CF... and DTD with impunity that one time.  Ordinarily I would never DTD on CD19 knowing I usually O around that time.   Sigh....



 

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