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June chat thread! - Page 2

post #21 of 138

I'd like to join in. I'm 6.5 weeks today (I'm not sure of my exact due date) and expecting baby #4. My other three were all natural hospital births and I will also be having this baby in the hospital where I work as a labor and delivery nurse. I'm having some nausea and many food aversions, and I'm craving cherries like there is no tomorrow. I'm also completely exhausted and feeling sort of overwhelmed at the idea of FOUR children but I'm happy to be pregnant.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kismetbaby View Post

Pilar--I'd love to live in Italy someday! I lived in London for a year after my undergrad and my DH is from Israel (where is family still lives) so we travel often. Although a little less often now with a toddler!  Anyway, I know the urge to be home must be strong now though.  Just thought I'd mention that I felt a lot like you last time, not nervous at all about taking care of a baby/child (I was a nanny for years), but really nervous about the whole labor and delivery part. Turns out that I LOVED giving birth!  Yes it was intense and yes it was painful, but as soon as labor started for me I was transported to this place of trusting my body and being totally in the moment.  I never had a moment of fear once labor started.  Of course then I found the first 4 months with a baby and BFing really difficult and wished I had prepared better for THAT!  Just my experience, but thought I'd share.  My advice (even though it's early) is to avoid bad/scary/sad birth stories and to surround yourself with positive ones. Anything that reaffirms your own trust in your body is good--Hypnobirth, prenatal yoga, any book by Ina May Gaskin, the movie "Orgasmic Birth", etc. 


I like this advice. I would also read "Birthing from Within" it is one of my favorite books to suggest to pregnant friends or patients.  My coworkers are always shocked and some are downright dismissive that I give birth naturally, but I just think it's the right way to have a baby. Yes, contractions hurt and are strong, but women are stronger. As crazy as it sounds I really enjoy labor. Not the pain, but the way it just brings out your primal emotions and instincts, and with a natural birth I just don't think there's anything better than that moment at the end when you see your baby for the first time, and the pain is gone, and nothing else exists in the world except you and this tiny person and the amazing journey you've just gone through to meet each other. It's so beautiful and so worth it.

post #22 of 138

Hi  everyone!

I'm Dea. 

This is my 3rd, and I'm so excited to be here. 

I posted a hello thread a couple of minutes ago, should have come here first!  HA!

My first two babies were planned homebirths, but I didn't get one either time.  #2 was a VBAC though!  Which I am so proud of.  I had to fight for it during labour.  

I can't wait to get to know everyone here!

 

post #23 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeanSprout Mama View Post

As crazy as it sounds I really enjoy labor. Not the pain, but the way it just brings out your primal emotions and instincts, and with a natural birth I just don't think there's anything better than that moment at the end when you see your baby for the first time, and the pain is gone, and nothing else exists in the world except you and this tiny person and the amazing journey you've just gone through to meet each other. It's so beautiful and so worth it.


Beautifully put, and I totally agree!

post #24 of 138

Beanstroutmama--totally agree and I like Birthing from Within too.

 

writinglove (Kay)-- I am super irritable while pg. . .I had forgotten about that until this past weekend. I felt so guilty for being such a b*$*@ and then remembered it's just the hormones! LOL Luckily my DH is very forgiving, but I feel badly when it affects my son who doesn't understand. I guess I'm just trying to make sure I have some time for my own headspace each day. . .to breath a bit. . .

Oh, and I am super-super jealous you get to take class with Penny Simpkin!!!! At least I can feel cool that I grew up in NM the home of MDC! :)

 

Pilar-- as for the BFing and PP time, I'd just make sure you set yourself up with a lot of support for right after the baby is born. Make connection in LLL, seek out a lactation consultant in advance, consider hiring a PP doula, have friends or family ready and willing to come and bring food.  I kinda though, oh, one baby and two adults we'll be fine. But you're so, so tired and hormonal and IF BFing is challenging then everything just seems hard.  But hey, maybe you won't have the experince I did and will be blissful during your babymoon (I was just stressed!). I also plan to encapsulate my placenta this time to help with the PP moods (I cried all. the. time.).

Anyway, lots of that can be worried about later!

 

As for career and identity. . .it's a hard one. There are no clear-cut answers.  I had *just* finished my MA when my son was born and watched all my cohorts go on to PhDs and jobs and such, while I chose to be a SAHM.  I realize it will be more difficult to get back in the game. . .but for me, it's worth it. No career is more important than my children and the time when they need you 100% is so tiny really.  The identity thing is a little trickier. . .it's harder to retain sense of yourself as someone other than "mama".  But I've found that the older and more independent my son gets the more it comes back, and I do love my identity as his mommy too.  It can be lonely I've found, but it's also forced me (as a shy person) to reach out and find community that I never would have before.

post #25 of 138

Hi ladies. I'm Renee and I'm almost 8 weeks with my first. I feel pretty good...I have bouts of nausea and exhaustion here and there, but nothing too bad. I'm a grad student who was set to graduate by May 2012, but since this little one decided to plant itself on our first try, I'm shooting for graduation by December. Eep! I live in a one bedroom apartment that I actually love with my hubby, but of course now that we have a babe on the way we're forced to look to find something bigger. We found an amazing old Victorian house that is basically perfect, but we have to room with another couple in order to afford it. They are very low-maintenance and sweet, but the thought of giving up our own space is hard to cope with. This has been my major stress lately, because I want to live in a bigger house, but we simply can't afford it on our own, so I'm hoping that the rooming situation works well.

 

Hope you don't mind my crashing your party!

post #26 of 138

I've been continuing to think about these conversations and my experience with my first-born--it's bringing a lot back for me that I haven't thought of in a while.  I'm so glad that what I said may have touched some of you and/or be of some help.  So here is the most concise advice I have (for what it's worth):

 

Pg and birth--  Trust that your body knows what it's doing.

 

Postpartum--   Don't be afraid to ask for help, lots of it!

post #27 of 138

My biggest shock was postpartum for sure!  I put so much into pregnancy and planning for labour, and really assumed mothering would just come naturally.  I had played a huge role in raising my brother (15 years younger) and had been a nanny for many years, so thought I had been through it all.

 

Well, I had been through a lot....and some of it has helped...but I was still blown away by being a mom!  It really is beyond full-time, and the emotions (good and bad) are so overwhelming.  There is a lot more pressure on every little decision too when it's your own and you worry that everything is going to mess them up.  By about 6 months I had gotten over a lot of that, but for a while I truly felt every decision was life changing and really took criticism from family/doctors/friends to heart.

 

Also, I thought breastfeeding would come way easier than it did.  We struggled for a good 4 months before hitting our stride, now DS and I are still going strong at 26 months.  My biggest regret in pregnancy was that I didn't go to LLL meetings!  I let friends and family convince me that LLL was too militant and would pressure me too much.  When I took DS to a meeting when he was 6 weeks, it totally wasn't the case, and we ended up members.  I only wish I had found the support before having the baby, as I know now that the leaders could have helped me right from the start!  

 

I had already dealt with not living up to expectations after I graduated from teacher's college.  Jobs are hard to come by around here, and I didn't try to hard...I did nanny work for a couple years before getting pregnant.  I liked nannying more than teaching actually.  But many people think I was wasting my talent and education.  Now that I'm a SAHM I come up against the same kinds of attitudes.  But I love being at home.  Also, I know that I can change my mind, and sometimes remind people of that when they are concerned.  It's really tough to be a mom I think....we're so judgmental...if you work, you're bad for ditching your kids, if you stay home, you're bad for not contributing to the workplace and putting your professional goals first.  

post #28 of 138

Milomama--wow, we have really similar experiences! I also have a sibling 15 years younger who I felt like I practically raised and was a nanny for years. But I too was surprised to have a difficult PP period and lots of trouble with BFing--for the first 2 months it was pure hell and didn't really feel like it was truly comfortable or natural till about 4m.  (But now I am still happily BFing my 20mo and am so so glad I stuck with it!) And yeah, it wasn't till my son was btw 6 and 9m that I felt like I was finally hitting my stride.  Anyway, I really hope that it is easier the second time around!

post #29 of 138

Hey I am Sarah, I have two daughters and one foster daughter.  This pregnancy was unplanned, but not to unexpected.  We have been wanting to have another one, but were planning to wait to TTC until the fall.  Dh is in Nursing school and will be graduating next May.  The plan was to wait until the fall so we could have the baby after school was out.  January isn't to bad though, since he does have a winter break that month.  I am doing foster care right now, but the little girl we have will be going back home to her mom next month and I don't know if they put another placement with us due to the pregnancy.  We can't afford to move into a bigger place right now, and they only allow two in a room and 1 baby rooming with the parents.  We worked so hard on the certification and I am really bummed that this will most likely be coming to a close for at least a year.  Our foster daughter will be greatly missed, but it sure is nice to be part of a success story.

 

Today I woke up with no morning sickness and with a raging appetite.  I ate seconds at every meal and had snacks in between.  It was a wonderful reprieve, I'm sure I will go back to hating all food tomorrow LOL.  Just a quick intro is all I have time for right now, but will be back later.  Didn't get my nap today and I am super tired.

 

 

post #30 of 138

Quote:

Originally Posted by thorn View Post

I'm hoping for a light-symptom day too.  I was SO nauseated yesterday and I had a headache and I got a big deli pickle with my dinner, i knew that it was going to be the perfect cold crispy vinegary thing for me, and my husband ate it!

 

I was like "why would you eat a pickle you didn't order?" "I thought you ordered it for me!"  ummmm... no. but thanks for eating my pickle.  hrmph.


I also hate it when my husband won't let me get something I really want. Today I wanted an apple turnover, but my husband told me no because we were already getting me the sandwich I was craving (I've been eating way too much junk lately because the only way to avoid nausea is to eat exactly what my body is craving). 

 

 

So I'm leaving tomorrow for a 7 hour drive (likely to be longer because of all the stops we'll be making) being nearly 8 weeks pregnant and with a 2 year old. This is going to be fuuuuuuuun. Any tips for traveling while nauseous, peeing a lot, and incredibly exhausted?

 

post #31 of 138

You guys, I love you! joy.gif  Thanks for all your words of wisdom and for being so real and honest.  I think I'm going to print out this thread and pull it out during the first weeks PP to remind me that I'm not alone.

post #32 of 138

Ok wait!!!! I have a name?! That isnt mommy?!?! Really? I dont think so......

 

I had to buy maternity shorts yesterday. I couldnt take my uncomfy jeans anymore *sigh* I am only 9 weeks *cry*

post #33 of 138

I'll join in on the chat.  I'm Sara,  almost 8 weeks with #2.  I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now in many ways.  Our temps have just ramped up to the 90's in TN.  DS is a wildly energetic 3 yr old boy.  I just started a part time job about a month ago and now that I'm tired and nauseous it's much harder than it was to start with.  I was trying to conceive this baby, but now I feel really nervous about how our lives are going to change so much.  I'm an only child so it's harder for me to see the big picture with more than 1 kid for some reason!  I'm hoping that I'll start feeling more connected to the baby soon.  My MW doesn't listen to the heartbeat until 12 weeks, so that's a long way away!

 

I'm eating constantly and every little commercial is making me want to go out and buy whatever they are advertising, hello Sonic Double Stuff Oreo Blast!!!

 

As for the conversations about labor/birth and PP, I had a very long labor with DS (3 days), a planned homebirth and transfer to the hospital, but it was a great experience over all and only minutes after he was born I was thinking to myself "well that wasn't so bad, and next time I'll do a better job!"  it's what we're built for, and your body will find a way to make it work!

PP is definitely a time to ask for help, I highly recommend the placenta encapsulation if you can do it (we had to sneak ours out of the hospital), we did it ourselves and I think it really helped me.

Looking forward to supporting and receiving support from this great group of women on this awesome journey together!

post #34 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by naturechicplus1 View Post
I highly recommend the placenta encapsulation if you can do it  and I think it really helped me.

YES!  I had horrible, horrible PPAD after my daughter's birth.  Encapsulated my placenta and not one problem after my son's.  Best money ever spent.  Seriously.
 

 

post #35 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommyofalmost6 View Post

I had to buy maternity shorts yesterday. I couldnt take my uncomfy jeans anymore *sigh* I am only 9 weeks *cry*

 

I haven't pulled out my maternity shorts yet but that is only because i have these awesome cargo capris from old navy that have an elastic/drawstring waistband.  my jeans haven't been comfy for a few weeks already.  
 

 

post #36 of 138

Yep, I had to go pull out my "fat" jeans (I have a pair one size too big and a pair two sizes too big from last pg), b/c my regular one's just aren't comfortable anymore. And I'm just abut to be 7 weeks!  But the waistband digging in is killer and I can't live in sweat pants ALL of the time. :)  I'd just go right to maternity clothes (hey, you don't even have to undo a button and zipper to use the bathroom! YAY), but we haven''t told people yet and I don't want anyone to catch me in mat clothes. Ha.  I saved all of mine from last time, but the seasons will be wrong. . .so I may have to buy more. We'll see. Last time I just wore yoga pants and the two shirts that still covered my belly for the last month. . .but it was still warm then. It will be weird to be so hugely pg in the winter--geez, I"m gonna have to buy a mat. coat!  But I'm hoping that I won't be so hot and swollen in the winter.

 

Pilar--not trying to be scary about PP. . .I think it just takes many people by surprise. But hey, maybe you'll be one of the lucky one's with en easy transition to BFing and new parenthood!  Better to be prepared for it to be hard though, then to be caught off-guard like I was. I thought it would be all butterflies and rainbows and staring dreamily into the eyes of my newborn. . .which is was for about an hour a day, but then there were the other 23 hours of hormones and BFing hell and sleep deprivation.  Oh my.  Just remember, it feels like this huge chunk of time while you are in it, but before you know it they are turning 1 and are walking and talking and you can't even believe it!  Which is why it makes all the difference to have some supportive people around you at the time, who can cheer you on and do your laundry!

post #37 of 138

I definitely agree with everyone on postpartum, it is was a very difficult time for me after both deliveries.  Even if you have a fast delivery it is very taxing on you body.  Every muscle is used, you are so highly alert, and afterwards you feel like you just ran a marathon.  I remember being so shocked when I got home with dd1 and realized how unprepared I was.  I didn't set up any help, I didn't know who to contact for breastfeeding help, I didn't even know how often to feed the baby and I had to figure it all out while feeling like dog doo.

 

With #2 I tried to better prepared, I had meal help and my mom watching our 2 year old every day for a couple of weeks, but it was still so rough.  I was just so exhausted and bleed bright red for 3 weeks off and on.  I had to stay in the house for a month b/c every time I left I would start bleeding more and ended up with PPD for a year.  I will definitely be encapsulating my placenta and will probably even have a slice of it put in a smoothie right after labor.  Dh is totally grossed out by all this, but I will do anything to not have to feel that way again.

 

One of my favorite books is Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth.  I read this book before labor and remember it having a profound effect on me.  I felt so ready, empowered and a bit inspired by all the birth stories in the later half of the book.  I can't recommend it enough, especially for first time moms.

post #38 of 138

You guys are great... My poor DH is still trying to get his head around the idea of me giving birth at home, and now I'm going to bring up placenta encapsulation.  He's going to pass out, the poor guy... ROTFLMAO.gif

 

I will definitely read everything by Ina May G.  She's amazing, I watched a documentary where she starred, and I was blown away by her wisdom.  Her approach resonates with my beliefs on childbirth and was one of the determining factors in my choosing a home birth.  Thanks for the suggestion.

 

So I sent an e-mail turning down the job offer.  And I'm happy.  redface.gif  I'm going to be a mommy!

 

And at 8w1d I'm down to one pair of pants, which were HUGE on me just two weeks ago and now are the only thing I can wear comfortably.  I'll just have to wear them for the next 5 weeks while I get back to the States, and then I can go shopping for maternity clothes.  I went out to dinner with friends last week, and I had to open my pants halfway through the meal!!!  Luckily I was wearing a long shirt. 

 

Happy weekend everyone!!  Wish me luck on my first final exam!

post #39 of 138

I've been wearing maternity bottoms for a couple of weeks.  :(  It has been BRUTALLY hot outside, so I've spent a lot of time inside, exhausted and constantly starving.  Yesterday, I ate caesar salads all. day. long.  At least twice a week, I have a random, 10:00 at night craving for something like po'boys (which are hard enough to get in this area, much less at 10pm from way out here in the sticks.)

 

As far as postpartum, I usually have a really rough last month or two of pregnancy, and I always feel like I'm ready to run a marathon after I finally get the baby OUT.  (No more getting up every five minutes to pee, no walking around with a bowling ball in my body, no feeling the kicking constantly, space in my stomach to eat...)  I'm sure my MIL will be over every day, helping with the cooking and everything, and my fiancee is planning on doing a few half days at work, some work from home, until the kids and I can get into a groove of some sort.

post #40 of 138

Hi smile.gif  I am due in January, jumping in with both feet.  Excited smile.gif

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