June chat thread! - Page 4

[diana_of_the_dunes]

Hi ladies!  I'm a bit late to the party... I just saw this thread last night and it took a bit of catch-up reading.

I'm Diana and I'm 10 weeks 2 days pg with #2 and #3.  We have a 20 month old DS who is very easy-going, but very busy.  With the exhaustion and nausea, I've been having a bit of trouble keeping up with him.  

Regarding the PP period, I found it to be much easier than pregnancy.  By the end, I was just SO READY to be done, that anything seemed better.  DS latched well, woke to eat every 2 hours like clockwork, and I actually got more sleep than I did when I was pg.  I'd spend 10 hours in bed, then just lounge around the house all day.  I did have a few rough patches when people would come to visit.  I liked having company, but after about 30-45 minutes, I wanted them gone.  I cried in the kitchen one day because my MIL and FIL came on a scheduled visit, then my BIL showed up as well.  I remember telling DH to just get everyone out of the house NOW.  My mom was there also, but I don't count her as a visitor.  It didn't take much to overwhelm me for the first 3-4 weeks PP.  

I found it very helpful to have lots of meals pre-cooked in the freezer, and my mom and I plan on setting aside a few days this fall just to cook.  Also, don't sweat the small stuff.  I was constantly questioning how all my decisions would affect my baby later on.  Like, if I give him a boob every time he cries, will he ever learn to comfort himself?  If I give him a pacifier because I know he just needs to suck and not eat (and I had terrible thrush and the most painful nipples ever), will I be betraying his trust in me?  Is it okay to let him nap in his crib sometimes, or will he feel abandoned?  I drove myself nuts.  I felt unprepared for all the decisions I'd have to make.  Hundreds of decisions every day, and I didn't feel like I was equipped to make them.  But I was.  All mamas are.  You just trust yourself to do what's best for your baby, trust your baby to let you know what he needs, and just go with the flow.  I wasn't a helicopter mom, constantly hovering, but I just worried I wasn't doing the "right" thing.  

And remember to take care of yourself.  Get lots of sleep, eat often, drink a TON of water, and let the housework go.  I made the mistake initially of constantly feeling like I had to be doing something.  You don't.  Just relax.  Take a walk every day if you can, just to have a few minutes to yourself.  Let your DH or DP take care of the baby.  It's good for both of them.  I see so many stressed out mamas on here who don't let their partners help with their newborns.  It's their baby too.  No, they don't have boobs, but there are other ways to comfort a crying baby.  He won't do everything the way that you will, but don't criticize unless it's something harmful.

Wow...  I feel like I just delivered a lecture.  I'll get off my soapbox now...  

Kismet - that's so awesome that you have an u/s picture already!  I know just being able to see a heartbeat makes me feel so much better.

I'll share mine too: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3Fv6RQVgHXI/Tda7H6ScXQI/AAAAAAAAAzU/gmnpsMRonGA/s1600/ultrasound.JPG  At the time (7 weeks 1 day), they were both measuring spot-on for dates, and both had good heartbeats (though I don't remember them).  

[jessica_lizette]

I am finally getting the ball rolling on a midwife search today and I'm excited. :)

[Mommyofalmost6]

Awesome advice Diana! I have to agree. I told my husband I want NO visitors for the first 6 weeks. I don't care whos feelings I hurt. I don't need spectators while I am bleeding all over, trying to learn how to have 7 children, learning to breast feed this new little person, and being just very much hormonal PP chick lol. I see a psychologist and she even said it was reasonable lol.

I tour a midwife group/birth center tonight. I am so excited!

[kismetbaby]

Hi Diana! Fun to have a fellow Sept 09er here.  Glad you joined the chat thread and I LOVED your u/s pic. I wondered what twins would look like when I was at mine (although I was very relieved to obviously only see one). What an adventure you will have!  Good to find out early and be prepared, but I'm sure it will all be great.

GL with the MW search and the birth center tour ladies!

I so need to get into my MW search!  There are only a handful in our area and I know they book up fast.  I already have all the names, so I just need to search out the phone numbers and start calling. . .of course finding quiet time for phone calls with a toddler is not easy.  And our house is so small that when he naps I try not to be on the phone for fear of waking him. Oiy. 

[DayDreamer]

I had my first official MW appointment yesterday at 10w5d.  Unfortunately, we did not get to hear the hb. It doesn't bother me very much because with my last dc I did completely unassisted prenatals and couldn't pick up a hb til well into my second trimester with a fetoscope.  I have another appointment scheduled in 3 weeks so I'm expecting to hear it then. I think this also confirms that my dates are never right, and I'm really 2 weeks behind where I'm supposed to be.

[diana_of_the_dunes]

Kismet - I'm a little nervous about having two newborns at once, but if they're both as easy as DS was, it shouldn't be all that difficult.  Tiring, yes, but he was a very contented baby.  If they both are colicky... Yikes.  

I think I am finally starting to get over my morning sickness (yay!!).  The past two mornings I haven't felt nauseous at all, though I did end up throwing up yesterday after pouring some not-too-fresh milk down the drain.  I'm still sensitive to smells, and obviously my stomach will rebel pretty easily, but no nausea or gagginess.  I was sick til about 18 weeks with DS, so an early end to morning sickness would be a very welcome gift.

mommyofalmost6 - I totally agree on imposing restrictions on guests.  My aunt and grandma are already talking about packing up and coming to visit (though they'd stay with my mom and not me) as soon as they hear I'm in labor.  I don't mind family visiting, or at least I don't think I will, but maybe 2 or 3 guests per week.  Last time, two of my best buddies from work (guys), showed up about 4 hours after I gave birth.  I was in the bathroom, and I told the nurse to make them leave.  She must have thought I was just talking nonsense, because I was pretty woozy from blood loss, since they came in right after I got out of the bathroom.  I love knowing that they cared so much about me, and that they were excited for me to have a baby, but OMG.  DH's mom hadn't even been there yet!  Oh well.  Learn from the mistakes, and do what is comfortable for you.  It sounds like you know what you need PP, and you only get one babymoon!

[Conchobhar]

Sorry if this post is too happy for some...

Well, I don't want to curse myself, and I really hope everything's OK, but my nausea seems to have gone away!   I woke up this morning feeling really, really good!  Then I stepped on the scale and I haven't gained weight this week!

My last pregnancy, I gained a total of 80 pounds.  So that's why I'm happy about seeing no weight change in a week.  Last time, it seemed like every time I stepped on the scale, I had gained 5 pounds.  (And yes, I know I need to gain weight and I will.  It's just a small miracle that this is happening and I'm enjoying it because it'll probably be the last time it happens).

Again, I'm hoping everything's OK.  I feel fine and I'm not spotting.  Just enjoying the small miracles!

[jessica_lizette]

Originally Posted by kismetbaby 

. . .of course finding quiet time for phone calls with a toddler is not easy.  And our house is so small that when he naps I try not to be on the phone for fear of waking him. Oiy. 

Good luck!! I know that struggle all too well lol.

[Mommyofalmost6]

I did the birth center open house last night. I am in LOVE. They have queen size beds, rocking chairs and HUGE tubs in the rooms. Its perfect! I am so excited! I feel so much better about this birth now. The hospital has the lowest section rate in the state for their birth volume (4th in the state ranks) highest breast feeding rate, they encourage VBACS if a mama wants one and even in the regular L&D ward you will 99% of the time have a midwife at your feet. The OBs are there for special cases ect. Its SO perfect. I feel so good about this now.

[montessorimama1]

Originally Posted by Mommyofalmost6 

I did the birth center open house last night. I am in LOVE. They have queen size beds, rocking chairs and HUGE tubs in the rooms. Its perfect! I am so excited! I feel so much better about this birth now. The hospital has the lowest section rate in the state for their birth volume (4th in the state ranks) highest breast feeding rate, they encourage VBACS if a mama wants one and even in the regular L&D ward you will 99% of the time have a midwife at your feet. The OBs are there for special cases ect. Its SO perfect. I feel so good about this now.

Wow, sounds perfect!!  I am so glad you found a place you are comfortable with... I'm sure it makes all the difference in the world!

So... I had thought I would have to fly back home on my own from Italy because DH had conferences to attend in July and couldn't make it to Europe.  I was pretty bummed and worried about having to carry two huge suitcases by myself on the bus, the train, and the airplane.  This morning I woke up and SURPRISE!  DH will be here on June 30th, just in time for my graduation, and then we get to spend two weeks traveling around Italy before flying home TOGETHER!!  I am the happiest person ever!    I guess all my e-mails to him about how big my boobs are getting had their intended effect! 

[Conchobhar]

HAHAHA!  Congrats!

[kismetbaby]

Originally Posted by Mommyofalmost6 

I did the birth center open house last night. I am in LOVE. They have queen size beds, rocking chairs and HUGE tubs in the rooms. Its perfect! I am so excited! I feel so much better about this birth now. The hospital has the lowest section rate in the state for their birth volume (4th in the state ranks) highest breast feeding rate, they encourage VBACS if a mama wants one and even in the regular L&D ward you will 99% of the time have a midwife at your feet. The OBs are there for special cases ect. Its SO perfect. I feel so good about this now.

Yay.  .sounds perfect!

Originally Posted by montessorimama1 

Wow, sounds perfect!!  I am so glad you found a place you are comfortable with... I'm sure it makes all the difference in the world!

So... I had thought I would have to fly back home on my own from Italy because DH had conferences to attend in July and couldn't make it to Europe.  I was pretty bummed and worried about having to carry two huge suitcases by myself on the bus, the train, and the airplane.  This morning I woke up and SURPRISE!  DH will be here on June 30th, just in time for my graduation, and then we get to spend two weeks traveling around Italy before flying home TOGETHER!!  I am the happiest person ever!    I guess all my e-mails to him about how big my boobs are getting had their intended effect! 

woohoo! So glad that worked out. . .and yes, those DHs do seem to love the big-boobs of pg. LOL

Nothing new here.  Just wondering if I will indeed be able to hold out on telling people till after 12wks.  I don't know. I'll be 8wks tomorrow and I already want to tell people and feel like my "beer-gut" is going to start giving me away.  I keep wondering if there is anything that would come up at the 12wk scan we're doing that would make me wish I had NOT told anyone yet. . .?  Even if we are given a high risk for Down's I feel in my heart pf hearts that I couldn't choose termination.  And if they found something else terribly wrong than I would want the support, right?  I guess maybe it's just that if there is something wrong, we'd like the space to make a decision and tell people on our own time and not have people already clamoring to ask "how was the u/s?"  For some reason this is a hard choice for me. . .the privacy vs. the sharing.

[jessica_lizette]

Originally Posted by kismetbaby 

Nothing new here.  Just wondering if I will indeed be able to hold out on telling people till after 12wks.  I don't know. I'll be 8wks tomorrow and I already want to tell people and feel like my "beer-gut" is going to start giving me away.  I keep wondering if there is anything that would come up at the 12wk scan we're doing that would make me wish I had NOT told anyone yet. . .?  Even if we are given a high risk for Down's I feel in my heart pf hearts that I couldn't choose termination.  And if they found something else terribly wrong than I would want the support, right?  I guess maybe it's just that if there is something wrong, we'd like the space to make a decision and tell people on our own time and not have people already clamoring to ask "how was the u/s?"  For some reason this is a hard choice for me. . .the privacy vs. the sharing.

You could always tell them about the pregnancy if you want to, and not the upcoming ultrasound so you can keep your space and privacy about that.

[BeanSprout Mama]

I had my ultrasound yesterday, showed one baby with a strong little heartbeat, measuring exactly where I was expecting from date of ovulation. At first the tech was concerned but I explained that I know my LMP makes me 8.5 weeks but that I am 100% certain I ovulated on day 21 which makes me 7.5 weeks. Changed my edc in the computer to the one I thought it was in the first place. So I'm officially due 1/22, and that means exactly nothing because the baby will come when s/he wants anyway. I am assuming I'll have a baby sometime in January.

Anyway it was a good appointment, relieved there is only one baby and glad my dates are finally "settled" in terms of my prenatal care!

[kismetbaby]

Yay Beansproutmama!  So glad it went well and you saw your little one!

I too know I ovulated late, so I just lied about my LMP, so I didn't have to try and explain every time that yes, I know when I ovulated, blah, blah. And I measured exactly right.

[coldandsleepy]

Re: ovulation dates: I wasn't sure when I ovulated OR when my last period started, but I was pretty sure on conception date so I just worked backwards from there and gave them a "LMP" based on that.  Ultrasound agreed with me on this.  I wonder how many people do it this way.  It really seems like those little due date wheels should be able to do date of conception too.

Re: PP visitors:  with my son, we said no visitors for the first two months.  This was mainly to deter some of my relatives who were hell bent on visiting right away and who would NOT have been helpful at all to first time parents trying to figure things out at our own speed.  My family is about as mainstream as you can get with child birth and rearing and they are also extremely vocal about their opinions.  I thought about it a lot and realized my options were either a) tell them ahead of time that they couldn't come and have one less thing to stress about or b) let them come, take on all that extra stress, and possibly have a huge falling out as a result.  I went with choice A and have not regretted it.

But this time around, we are hoping to have family visit pretty close to right away.  My husband isn't covered by FMLA anymore (job change since last baby) and he absolutely cannot lose his job, so we don't know if he is going to get to stay home with me at all.  And the idea of being at home by myself with a 1 or 2 week old baby and a toddler... to me, that is the stuff of nightmares.  This time I'll take any warm body over no help at all, thank you very much.

Fortunately, my in-laws are VERY helpful people and very, very accepting of our parenting choices, and I think they will be happy to come stay for some of those early weeks, and I'll be happy to have them.

[sarah_bella1050]

I did the same thing with my conception date.  Just counted backwards ultrasound was spot on.

[Devaskyla]

I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Lisa & this will be my 4th. I've had multiple early miscarriages, I stopped counting around 10, but none after 7 weeks and I'm over 10 weeks now. I have 3 boys. The oldest 2 will be turning 10 & 6 in the next couple months & the youngest is 27 mths.

This pregnancy was completely unplanned and a real shock, especially since dh nearly died last year and had an uncountable number of unshielded abdominal CT scans & cholangiograms. Lots of radiation. He's still not completely recovered and really not happy about the pregnancy, but I'm sure he'll adore the baby once it's here. And if it does end up being a girl, I suspect he'll be over the moon. Either way, this is my last baby.

I've had one unnecessarian and 2 UBAC's. I'm actually considering a solo birth this time, but we'll see how it goes.

I've told my Twitter followers and a few people on FB. I've also told my eldest and dh told his dad. I haven't told my middle son or my family. To tell the truth, I'm terrified to tell my mother. I waited until 25 weeks to tell her with ds3. Lately ( including tonight) she's been going on about how I must be so happy/relieved to be nearly done with diapers. I know she's going to freak out. It doesn't help we have no car and hers is only a 5 seater so we already can't all go somewhere together. I've actually considered trying to pull off the whole didn't know I was pregnant thing. Ds1 suggested I hide the baby under my shirt when she comes in. lol

If we could just get a car of our own & a decent income, I think she'd freak less. Dh is unable to work and I'd like something I can do from home, but legit jobs are hard to find. I've done a lot of studying to be a midwife, but can't get practical experience and that's not really a career to try to start up while pregnant/ post partum anyway.

Guess I'm just going to have to win the lottery.

And now it's very late and I should have gone to sleep an hour ago, so zzzzzzzz

[Devaskyla]

Apparently I will be unable to sleep until I mention, at risk of having roten tomatoes thrown, that I greatly dislike Ina May. I started reading 1 of her books and was so disturbed I couldn't finish it. I will also never be able to forget the harm she caused a lot of women with her stance on women with single layer closure when she declared it to dangerous to have a VBAC unless you had a double layer.

[Mommyofalmost6]

OK seriously, I am ready for the totally drained feeling to pass. I am really tired of just being tired. And I am so dang hormonal and emotional more then normal its driving me batty.

Just had to put that out there :)