Providing support for a "weaned too early" toddler with newborn around

[ltlmrs]

Deleting for privacy concerns.

Edited by ltlmrs - 7/2/11 at 7:39pm

[syn_ack89]

My older son asked to nurse after the baby was born. I let him. By that point nursing, to him, meant putting his mouth on my breast for a minute. He was happy with it. So your daughter may ask...you need to determine how you want to respond. Yes...No...either works, but you need to develop your script.

[ltlmrs]

Originally Posted by syn_ack89 

My older son asked to nurse after the baby was born. I let him. By that point nursing, to him, meant putting his mouth on my breast for a minute. He was happy with it. So your daughter may ask...you need to determine how you want to respond. Yes...No...either works, but you need to develop your script.

How old was he? 

[D_McG]

I guess I don't really believe in any kind of damage b/c of 'too early' weaning.  I think nursing is a coping mechanism and when it ends it's just replaced by new ones.  So to that end when I had my second I just made sure to make time for 'big boy' bonding with DS.  If he asked about nursing I just said it was for babies and talked about all the awesome things we did together instead. He never asked to nurse (I wouldn't have let him). It was just a non issue.  Hopefully it'll be the same for you!

[ltlmrs]

Deleting for privacy concerns.

Edited by ltlmrs - 7/2/11 at 7:39pm

[Friday13th]

DS1 weaned at 26 months when my milk dried up, I was 4 months pregnant. I'm pretty sure he would still be nursing if that hadn't happened but he wasn't terribly upset by it. He continued to pat my boob while falling asleep and in the middle of the night for quite a while and we talked a lot about how the baby was going to nurse. Once the baby came he watched closely while he nursed and at one point said he was going to have have boob too and made this silly, sippy cup sucking face near my boob but pretty clearly had long since forgotten how to latch so we laughed about it and I made him a yogurt smoothie in a special big boy cup which he drank on the couch while the baby nursed.

DS1 is a remarkably easy-going, adaptable kid so that was all that ever came of it but a friend in a similar situation pumped milk and gave it to her older child in a cup (he also forgot how to latch).

Oh and DS1 was only 2.5 when the baby was born so almost certainly would have still been nursing if not for the pregnancy.

Good luck!

[featherstory]

My daughter was weaned too early during my 2nd pregnancy, she was 2.5 years old.  It was hard on me and I see where you are coming from.  If it still uncomfortable for you try to find more things for you to do together when she wants to nurse...make beaded things together, make art together, sing, do yoga/dance together, make music, etc.  If it is not too hard for you let her nurse again. 

Also, explain to her why you're not nursing her, if you're not.  When I weaned my daughter I had the idea I would relactate her and around the end of the pregnancy I tried but it didn't really work.  Because she'd gotten out of it she no longer wanted to when I asked her after the first few times.  The first few times she wanted to but just couldn't get the hang of it.  After the baby was born however she saw animals nursing a few times and wanted to nurse again.  She got it right away.  I realized when she started nursing again that she really wasn't ready.  I thought she wasn't long before that, but when she started again I knew for sure.  She went about 7 months without nursing.

Why are you wearing her again when you're 7mos. pregnant?