Who have you told/ When will you tell? - Page 2

[Milano]

I've told my best friend, my OB and my naturopath, and that's it until I'm absolutely busting out and can't hide it with loose clothes anymore.  Just how I prefer it to be given our losses.

[rjruiz_415]

I have told hubby, mom, my two good IRL friends, and then my message boards:)

[ozzyemm]

I found out the Friday before I was to leave to help my mom recover from surgery.  I felt like I needed to explain why I was napping in the middle of the day, getting nauseus from her nightly popcorn, etc.  Other than my mom, my brother (who lives with her) my son and DH, I have told my friend who was my doula last time (she was the first one I told last time) and her hubby.  i have told my boards, and that's it :p.

[GoddessKristie]

I told my three closest friends, my closest sister, DH (of course), and he told his sister ('cause he wants her baby clothes if we have a girl lol). We're waiting to tell everyone else when we hit the second trimester. We didn't tell anyone at all with DS until then. We've had some losses in the family and it's been really hard. We never want to be treated differently about children the way they are. It's kind, but I just couldn't stand it. Even though both ladies have gone on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies and births and now have beautiful babies on their hips, that elephant is always in the room. Maybe it's just the way my family is..

Anyway, I can't wait to tell more people! I'm dying to shout it out (and I'm living vicariously through those of you who are!).

[jmd5294]

I've told DH (of course), my best friend, my mom and sister, and another friend who I'm closer to.

That's it so far.  I'm only 5 weeks, and we've had 2 prior miscarriages, so I am kind of hesitant...

[nickelsworth]

Originally Posted by montanamama1 

I guess I just figured that, if we experience a loss, I will need support. So, as hard as it will be to share the unhappy news, I will be thankful that I can be open about it.

See, I'm kind of in the opposite camp. I don't want everyone to know because I don't want the constant calls and prayer requests and whatnot if something bad happens. But that's because my family (and to an extent, my fiance's family) can be a bit overbearing at times.

[nickelsworth]

Well, of course my fiance. His parents know, as do mine. My dear mother opened her big mouth to my even bigger-mouthed aunt, and since she couldn't keep it under wraps at the Father's Day dinner we had last weekend, now my sister knows too.

The girls at work know because two of them are pregnant as well and one has had a lot of experience with infertility and such.

My good friend Eleanor knows because I'm in her wedding in December and I had to discuss the possibility of finding a more appropriate bridesmaid's dress (clearly this was not planned).

Ummm... I think that's pretty much it. We have to tread very lightly because my fiance's sister has experienced quite a bit of loss in the pregnancy department and his parents are being EXTREMELY cautious about how to tell her (almost to the point of being obsessive, but maybe that's a topic for another thread).

[Right of Passage]

I've told 5 people. 4 of them were happy for me.

I'm really nervous about telling family. The in-laws are having a really difficult time, mostly health problems, and I don't know if they could be happy for us if they wanted to. My mom wasn't excited the last 2 times, not expecting much this time. Makes me really sad that I can't be excited yet.

[OdinsMommy0409]

I've now told my entire family. Everyone has been very excited. BIL & SIL know as well since they are also due in February, and my poor SIL has hyperemesis. We're trying to hold off on telling MIL & FIL, and we are planning on telling them with BIL & SIL by wearing "Due in February" shirts together. Hopefully, SIL won't be so sick that they find out earlier than planned. I'm not looking forward to telling them as I'm sure we'll get some snarky comments. Once MIL & FIL know, I'll probably announce on FB. I posted earlier that I planned on waiting longer, but we're too excited. I think telling later has just as many possible problems as telling early. I'm staying hopeful so telling seems hopeful. 

[Dandy Lion]

We haven't told anyone yet. I think we'll be telling MIL and FIL on Monday though. I'm so excited to share the news with them because they're pretty awesome. I guess I'll tell my family pretty soon, but I don't see them as much. I'm nervous about telling my boss. I really hope there will be some way to go part time after the baby is born, but I might need to find something else :( I love my job, but I just cant bear the thought of putting an infant in daycare. I stayed home with my dd for 3 years, and loved it.

[Mooncat]

we told the majority of my immediate family on father's day! before that only my dh and best friend knew.  we were dying to tell everyone in the family as soon as we found out i was pregnant so it's felt like an eternity.  half of my fam was on vacation for a while and we wanted to have everyone together when we announced it. we had put it at the end of my dad's father's day card and had him read it out loud.  he was having trouble reading my writing and my husband and i were going crazy waiting for him to get to the end of the card.  at one point my brother offered to read it for him and we had to intercept the card exchange.  after what felt like an eternity, my dad read it out loud and all the women in my family went berserk!  tears, screaming, hugging, jumping up and down- it was all that we hoped it would be and more.  we got on the phone and called my MIL in San Diego and told her- I'm sure her neighbors heard her scream! 1st grandchild on my husband's side so it is a huge deal for my MIL.  we had to tell my sister over the phone also, she congratulated us but i could tell she's having a tough time with it.  she went through several rounds of ivf and had all sorts of difficulties and obstacles trying to conceive- she had to terminate the one pregnancy she had due to a rare heart abnormality in 1997. i almost feel guilty about my pregnancy when i think of all she's been through.  i know she's happy for me but i'm sure it brings up all kinds of memories and emotions for her.  i don't know what i can do.

other than the family, we'll wait to tell everyone else at the end of the 1st trimester.

[annadorothy]

That would be really frustrating!! Poor thing. As long as you, DH, and DD are happy..then that's that! She'll come around though..

It's exciting for your DD to have a baby sibling...my sister and I are 2 years apart and are the best of friends.

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 

Well, DH told MIL last night. See the OP for what happened last time.

She didnt say congratulations, she wasnt excited, and she said, "Well, I was really hoping that DD would have some more time to have all of the attention on her." And probably various other things that would make me hate her but I told DH he couldnt tell me anything else. She sent me an email today about what time she is coming to pick DD up tomorrow, and she didnt mention ONE WORD about it (Dh told her when I wasnt present). It would absolutely KILL her to say congratulations. I hate hate hate that she makes everything about how she feels about it. I AM THE ONE HAVING THE BABY. I HAVE TO CARE FOR THEM BOTH. NOT HER. Ugghh....Ok Im done

[CatholicBFMama]

I have told a RL friend who is pregnant with her first and due early March, and I've told a couple of FB friends but asked them not to mention it on my Wall so that family doesn't see. We're going to wait till closer to 2nd trimester to tell family due to the miscarriage we had back in '09, and also because they don't understand our "open to life" mentality and will worry that we're getting in over our heads. Several of them (mother, grandmother, aunts...) have made comments since our youngest was born like, "Y'all are done now, right? Y'all don't need any more kids." Wow, way to live our lives for us. 

However, we are moving out of our house early next month and will be in limbo until the end of July and the kids and I will be staying with my parents for those couple of weeks. I don't know if I can hide it that long being in such close proximity all the time. We'll see...

[Janel47]

Told my parents, my midwife, my dentist (had to explain why I wasn't getting my fillings done for 2 months), and my boards.  I'll tell my siblings and DH's sister in a couple of weeks.  I'll tell a few friends soon.  Probably the rest will wait until 2nd trimester, including DH's mom who has spilled enough of our beans in the past. 

[atomicrocket]

Bumping this thread to say that we shared the news with our extended families over the weekend and told several friends last night!  It was exciting. 

I'm actually feeling even more excited now that everyone knows, and a bit relieved too.  Now I just have to tell my supervisor, but I might wait a bit still.

[Momma2Kai]

We're still keeping hush on things now.  We *may* tell our parents this weekend, but I haven't decided.  I really want some more confirmation that everything is ok.  We had an u/s at 7 weeks, but I am still worried something has happened/gone wrong since.  I have a doppler (yes, I know the controversy), and am hoping that just maybe I'll be able to hear the hb at 10 weeks (which will be at the end of this week).  I am a private person, so I do not want to risk sharing the news to only later find out I lost the baby.  I do not want that kind of attention drawn to me- I wouldn't find it supportive, just intrusive.  So, I don't know.  I guess if I can find the hb, then I'll share, figuring most likely all is well, if not, I'll wait til I get my NT scan (not yet scheduled).  

[parsley]

We're still keeping it a secret too.  I've told a few close friends who we don't see in person and one of my sisters (the one that will be taking care of DD when I'm in labor and the one that is our only babysitter) but that's it for now. 

I am dying to tell my daughter.  It's so hard keeping this a secret from her!  Our plan was to wait until 13 weeks to tell her because we wanted confirmation that all was well and we also wanted to reduce the amount of time she'd have to wait.  But, it's getting so hard to not share this big news with her. 

My nuchal screening in 8/4 so I'm thinking we'll get to tell her shortly after that.  I'm then going to let her tell her grandparents (if she wants to).  Figured it would be a good way for her to get excited and feel some ownership over the news.

[HumbleLuna]

I have Hyperemesis so I had to tell people a lot sooner than I wanted to. My daughter was visiting her Grandparents in another state and was waiting for her little brother and I to fly out and stay for two weeks before coming home. I had to call her and tell her that I couldn't fly out because I was so sick, then I had to tell her the news over the phone. I wanted to tell her in person a little later on in the pregancy. She is 10 and a big worrywart. I also had to tell all of my friends back home why I wasn't flying out any longer. Another friend heard that I was sick and posted it on FB so a lot more people know now.

I teach a weekly craft class for Children but since I have been  so sick I had to find subs for the last 6 weeks. My boss sent a huge mass e-mail about my early pregancy complications to everyone who is part of the co-op which is over 250 people.

When you are dealing with a major illness it is hard to keep it a secret. Most people are like" Gee, I am sorry you are so sick, but congratulations!!"

[babies-n-bloom]

Well, one of my good friends was there when I took the pregnancy test so she has known since like 2.5 weeks....husband and bff knew a few days later.  My husband told his twin brother and sister at like 4 weeks as he felt he needed the support due to a prior miscarriage.  We then waited to tell my parents until 10 weeks, as well as my two bosses.  I have now just starting telling people, and will be telling his parents when we see them next in August.  It has not been as easy task hiding the nausea and low energy level!  I feel very grateful for the ladies I work with, cuz now I just get a sympathetic nod whenever I have my "this sucks right now" look on my face.

All of this is so exciting, and I would just like to say how exciting it is to share it with other mothers especially on MDC.  So thank you all for sharing your stories as well!

[Imakcerka]

My husband knew first and then my girls figured it out.  I was in the shower and both came in to ask about going outside to play and my little one said "mommy your boobs are bigger"  they looked at each other and smiled really big and then asked me if there was a baby in my tummy.  I didn't want to tell them yet since they took it so hard when we m/c'd.  However how can I keep it a secret if they're going to be checking out everything about for changes... geez! 

Told my brother and sister 2 weeks ago but I guess my sister knew because my 8 year old texted her and told her.  My dad was pretty upset with me about it.  He thinks we shouldn't be having more.  My husband stays home and is the worst house wife but the best daddy.  My dad also thinks there is no way I can make enough for us to survive... News flash daddy, your little girl make more than enough.  But I would never tell him that. 

My work already knows, My bosses are women and my good friends so they so excited they're turning carwheels.  They're discussing bringing baby to work for the first week I'm back... for me of course not because they want baby time!