I am losing my benefits because I won't wean my child to attend - Page 3

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by sosurreal09 

So according to the article she is going to wean him when he is 24 m/o anyway....and she's been on workman's comp since fall 2010...

Is this meant to imply that she should just wean now since she will soon anyway?? That's how it sounds, sorry if I'm misreading it!

I can imagine that like many of us, she says she is going to nurse until he's 2yo because that's just what a lot of us say to avoid all the questions etc. since the WHO states the BF'ing should continue 'til at least age 2, you know? I know for myself, age 2 was my "minimum age" that I'd be willing to wean my child... and I believe this mom deserves the same right to choose how long her DS nurses, whether that's the day he turns 2 or age 2 is just her minimum. There is such a huge difference in how my DS nurses now (at 28mos) vs. how he nursed at 20mos... he really, truly NEEDED to nurse then. He still 'needs' to nurse now but it's just different, in a way I can't quite explain succinctly. I can't imagine being forced to wean him at 20mos, especially when reasonable alternatives are available.

I'm very glad she seems to have 'won' and hope the worker's comp follows through with this.

[crunchy_mommy]

Angila, we posted at the same time, thanks for elaborating. I think some of us are still a bit confused on all the details but we aren't all in Canada and I personally have no experience with worker's comp or living far from treatment providers so maybe that is where some of the confusion comes in.

I don't have FB, otherwise I would have "liked" you too.

Good luck, hope they follow through!!

[nbbmom]

thanks crunchy mommy..I didn't realize that USA and Canada may be different..and yes it was a long drawn out explanation..I am interested in the fact that your son breastfeeds different at the different ages..I hadn't thought of that..my son is BF like a newborn these days..all the time..I think it ties in with the separation anxiety stages...hmm.. thanks for your input to my story..as confusing as it may have been for everyone..

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by nbbmom 

thanks crunchy mommy..I didn't realize that USA and Canada may be different..and yes it was a long drawn out explanation..I am interested in the fact that your son breastfeeds different at the different ages..I hadn't thought of that..my son is BF like a newborn these days..all the time..I think it ties in with the separation anxiety stages...hmm.. thanks for your input to my story..as confusing as it may have been for everyone..

At 20mos my DS nursed multiple times an hour. Somewhere around 2yo, he just suddenly was more emotionally stable, ate table food better, etc. It was like something just 'clicked' and now at 28mos he is only nursing for a few hours in the early morning & 3-4 times throughout the day. I have no intention of weaning him but I feel like he'd be OK if I did. At 20mos, there is no way I could have weaned him, it would have been such a disaster, he wouldn't eat and he'd be an emotional mess. Very weird. I don't know if 2yo is a common age for a 'shift' like that or if it was just my DS?? And you are right, his separation anxiety improved quite a bit at 2yo too so maybe that was part of it!

[sosurreal09]

My DD is 20 m/o too and she is nursing a billion times a day. I didn't mean what I wrote in any way really just wrote what caught my eye and in response to some other posts. However I would think it would be a little overboard to drag it all out in court (for who knows how long) to wean him in 4 months and maybe he would even have been weaned before there was a verdict KWIM? I can't imagine being able to "just pump" 2 WEEKS worth of milk. I mean for a SAHM who is not used to pumping probably as hardly anytime to with a nursling nursing so often that would really be a challenge it would probably take me a few months and a lot of time to get all that milk!

[AnnieNimIty]

So the WHO recommends 2 years, and the human biological age of weaning is 2.5-7 years according to one study, and all of these mothers are saying that you should just suck it up? Because they "overcame obstacles." My son is 15 months, so not quite at the same age, but I can't imagine being told, "your brain or your baby.You have one week."
There are not only physical changes, but emotional ones as well to suddenly changing your breastfeeding habits. Who is to say that the shift in hormones would not have caused rehab harm? OP I am completely behind you! Even though I caught on to this late... 

You explained it very well, and I follow the logic. I am so happy for you that this worked out!

[2xy]

Originally Posted by nbbmom 

Ok, I am going to try and respond to all of the statements made. I am totally new to forums...so I can't be sure how to cut/paste direct comments to respond to .. with that said.. I came to the mothering forums looking for allies,,,I was and still am dealing with an insurance company who was choosing to disregard the fact that I am a breastfeeding mother who needed accommodations made for travelling to rehab. The rehab program is 5 hours from my house. I was not wanting to leave my 20 month old breastfeeding child at home for two weeks (or possibly longer) I wanted to take him with me in order to continue our breastfeeding relationship. It is rehab not surgery. Meaning I feel totally comfortable having my son with me as I attend daily rehab sessions and return to him late afternoon, enjoy my evening with him..breastfeed him when he needs it. Not wean him and leave him in less than a week (what they were asking me to do) The insurance company took the position that breastfeeding was a "barrier" to my treatment. And it was a lifestyle choice to breastfeed a toddler. I disagree as well. For my circumstance it was perfectly reasonable to request accommodations be made for me to attend ( more time to secure daycare in the town of rehab, and costs be covered for that daycare) It is in their policy to provide injured workers with hotel, and provisions as needed in order to get a worker to rehab. According to my lawyer,and my family physician these were not unreasonable things to ask for or expect. The human rights law saw this as a gender discrimination violation. Agreed by many who work in the HR field and workers who work for the insurance company itself. I was and am still within reason to ask/expect simple provisions to be made considering where I live, where the only treatment center is and the fact that injured workers should not have to pay extra costs to get rehab when it is not in there local are (their policy) So feeling as though I was being targeted as a breastfeeder who should "deal with that  issue" I came to the Lactivation site. And some not all chose to judge, make assumptions and basically discredit this issue as a breastfeeding one. I certainly don't expect everyone to agree with me..I wasn't asking for advice I was looking for fellow mothers who would feel the same. I had 293 people like my facebook page and I linked that to the original post. Perhaps some missed that. The final outcome (though not in writing) is that as soon as my lawyer pointed out the discrepancy in the insurance companies own manual and the total violation of my human rights..they immediately offered to cover all costs of daycare. Unfortunately they were not required to make public their stance on breastfeeding mothers or mothers in general who need assistance getting treatment they deserve when hurt at work. I wasn't asking for a celebrity nanny to accompany me or to have mints on my pillow..simply my rights to care as stated in their own mandate. Unfortunately the news article about me said I was planning to wean him at 24 months. I never said this at all. I stated that the WHO recommends breastfeeding up to 24 months or longer. I'm going to let my son decide , because in the end it was his rights to breastfed that were in jeopardy. He can wean whenever he is ready..and I wouldn't change a thing about my decision to go public or fight for my rights.

thanks,

Angila

I'm glad things worked out for you.

I don't know if you plan to remain on this forum or find other forums to post on, but since you are "new" to forums I just thought you should know that the above is what's referred to as a "wall of text." It's hard on the eyes, and should be broken up into paragraphs with spaces in between. People who spend a lot of time on forums really appreciate that.

Are you going to continue to bring attention to the issue? Without activism, this will happen over and over again.

[nbbmom]

That is a wall of text....I will have to learn the codes..

Yes I want to keep fighting because they got "caught" they reversed their decision , but I was given no explanation as to their protocol or stance on mothers who are injured and need accommodation.

I have emailed media sources, but it seems like a dead story now that they reversed their decision quietly

..a nurse in would be a great way to get attention but I am off to rehab next week, maybe after that with a fresher brain..share and like my fb page. that will help!

thanks