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Cannot breastfeed :( - Page 2

post #21 of 25



I'm so sorry.  Bottle feeding can still be a great way to bond.   I don't know much about them, but supplemental nursing systems might be an option.  The baby is still getting the formula it needs, but it's still "breast" feeding.  Of course you might have to look into that more, i'm not sure if that's a feasible option or not.  But I do think things will turn out better than how you are imagining them right now.  You kicked cancer, and that's awesome and something to keep in mind when you are feeling down.

Quote:
Originally Posted by blessedwithboys View Post

You may want to consider finger feeding which is basically putting your finger in the baby's mouth nail side down and feeding through a thin tube or feeding syringe.  I used to nanny for a BF baby who refused bottles and finger feeding was the only way to nourish her for 9 hrs/day.  This option would allow you the skin-to-skin action of actual BF but of course it might get rough if the baby never accepts bottles, esp if you plan to WOH.


As far as this, I don't think finger feeding is suppose to be a permanent means of feeding. From what I understand, it's a way to teach nipple confused newborns the right sucking technique so that they  can move to the breast.   I highly doubt permanent finger feeding is a good option for the OP.
 

 

post #22 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by gabysmom617 View Post



I'm so sorry.  Bottle feeding can still be a great way to bond.   I don't know much about them, but supplemental nursing systems might be an option.  The baby is still getting the formula it needs, but it's still "breast" feeding.  Of course you might have to look into that more, i'm not sure if that's a feasible option or not.  But I do think things will turn out better than how you are imagining them right now.  You kicked cancer, and that's awesome and something to keep in mind when you are feeling down.


As far as this, I don't think finger feeding is suppose to be a permanent means of feeding. From what I understand, it's a way to teach nipple confused newborns the right sucking technique so that they  can move to the breast.   I highly doubt permanent finger feeding is a good option for the OP.
 

 


There are much easier ways to get skin to skin contact than long term finger feeding.  I don't even know why you would consider that a long term option for a mother who couldn't BF.  What a struggle! 

 

post #23 of 25



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by KempsMama View Post




There are much easier ways to get skin to skin contact than long term finger feeding.  I don't even know why you would consider that a long term option for a mother who couldn't BF.  What a struggle! 

 


 

Was that at me? :uhoh   Because I totally agree with you. I don't think the purpose of finger feeding was ever aimed for skin-on-skin contact and bonding benefits etc, by the people who came up with and and started advocating it, but rather simply (reportedly) a way to correct the sucking reflexes. There are much better easier ways to get skin on skin contact


 

 

post #24 of 25

Op, I was in a similar situation.  I had a bilateral mastectomy 9 years before my daughter was born, and I had nipple grafts, but no reconstruction - it was an elective mastectomy, I am FtM transgender.

 

I planned to feed my daughter donor milk, and I had a friend who pumped for me from the time her daughter was a few days old, plus I collected milk from some lovely donors.

 

Originally, I had hoped to feed my daughter at my chest, using an SNS, but my reconstructed nipples did not respond and behave in the ways necessary for breastfeeding, the one on the left is mostly flat, and on the right, the nipple is kind of permanently erect and turgid, not long and flexible and soft the way a breastfeeding nipple is, ideally.  


We had some success getting her to latch with a nipple shield, but that wasn't worth it for me - using the nipple shield and the SNS was very complicated, required two nursing pillows and help from at least one other person.  I share this part of my experience because I thought it would be simple - latch the baby on, slip the SNS tube in, away we go.  But reconstructed nipples don't behave like unscarred nipples, at least mine didn't, and I never anticipated that possibility.

 

Also, my daughter was very small, 6 lbs at full term, due to a problem with her placenta (she only had half a placenta) and a problem with her cord (velementous/marginal insertion), so she had a tiny mouth, and she was born in a hospital with no NICU, and nobody suggested trying a tiny little bottle to me.  In retrospect, I knew she would be small, but I didn't realize, fully, what a baby that small needs, and I wish I'd ordered some tiny bottles online before she was born, so I would have been better prepared.

 

Finger feeding, however, worked fine for us, and one of my friends was able to nurse her, so it was important for me to try to teach her to latch properly. 

 

It wasn't a permanent solution, we did it for about ten days, using the Medela disposable mini-SNS (that was actually the best way), and using the Medela more permanent SNS, and using a 5-French feeding tube run through a nipple into a bottle (see Jack Newman's site for information on that, it was the cheaest way to construct an SNS, but hte Medela tubing is softer and easier, I was always afraid of poking BB with the feeding tube, because it was much firmer)

 

I did the finger feeding for me. Because it felt better for me, and helped me deal with not being able to breastfeed my child.  I do think it was easier for her, too, because we didn't have an appropriate size bottle, but it was for me.  And if I hadn't enjoyed it, I would have stopped.

 

Becaue my baby was so small and was eating so little, it wasn't anymore complicated than bottle feeding for me.  She would take about an ounce at a feeding, I think she was a month old and had been on the preemie bottles for about two weeks before she ever took two ounces at a feeding.  By the time she was six weeks, she was up to three ounces.  

 

It might be different with a bigger baby.  My baby wasn't interested in taking milk very quickly, either, and bottle feeding is definitely faster than the SNS or finger feeding.

 

Now, at 8 months, she tends to want to sit up and bed and hold her own bottle, and so I often hand her the bottle and laugh and play with her while she drinks her milk.  

 

OP, you should do whatever feels right to you.  If it's comforting to finger feed, do that.  If it's easier to "bottle nurse" which is just to say, you feed your baby while cuddling, do that.  I actually found it really easy to stick the bottle in my armpit, put the baby tummy to tummy with me on a nursing pillow, roll her toward me, feed her, and completely ignore her while I surfed the Internet.  Which most NAKers are doing, breasts or not!  :)  

 

 

If you decide to feed your baby donor milk from a trusted friend, or part milk and part formula, or all formula, any which way, your baby is being fed and loved.  

post #25 of 25
My first couldn't bf because of a cleft palate. I ep'ed and bottle fed for 21 months. I really felt just as bonded to her as I do to dd2 who is ebf from the tap. In fact, I bonded to dd1 more quickly, even though her birth was much more medicalized and we were separated with her in the nicu. I think there's much, much more to bonding than breastfeeding.

In fact...there are a few things I really miss about bottle feeding! redface.gif. I am sorry that the opportunity to feed your baby the way you'd like has been taken away from you, that is unfair. I think with some effort and an open mind you can absolutely have a perfect bond, though!
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