June 2011 Whatever Ladies Graduates - Page 6

[MarineWife]

The vet went fine. The kittens were almost too small for any medicine. The person (not really sure she is the vet or a tech or assistant) said she'd guess they are more like 8 weeks rather than 11. WTH?! Can't people count? I hope we didn't take them too early. Anyway, I got pills for the worms and stuff to put on the backs of their necks for the fleas that should kill them all.

JJ ~ Yeah, maybe, but it hurts that he gets so involved with work that he forgets about us. He says that's not what happens but I can't really see it any other way. It's not like I want him to call every day. That would actually drive me crazy. Once a week works and I don't see how he could go for 2 months without talking to us and think that is ok. I think it's an ongoing problem with the repetitive deployments and other separations where he gets more and more used to being on his own.

I don't know how often they get gender wrong with the later u/ses like that anymore. The technology has advanced so much that it's pretty hard to mix up these days unless you don't get a good view and the person tries to guess.

Oh, Shannon, I did write in my lost post that eating something high in protein and not eating carbs/sugars right before bed can help with fasting glucose levels. That's what was suggested to me when I was on the GD diet when I was pg with ds2.

[MarineWife]

Here are pics of our new kittens. They are kind of hard to see. They don't stay still long enough for me to get good pics. Plus, they are black and the lighting in the room isn't great.

This is Midnight. He's Ryan's cat.



This is Tiny. He's for everyone else. DS2 named him because he was the runt of the litter. I was trying to get a pic of him playing with the balloons but he kept hiding behind the tent.

[akind1]

How cute! love the kittens!

Alternate names for Kenneth . . . Kendrick (means bold ruler)? variations of Kennedy (Kenadie for a girl?), Kendall, Kanyon, Kenyon, Kenley . . .Kenzie

Just a thougt or two.

Our girl was very wiggly during the u/s so it took some time to get a good idea of what we were looking at. so having 2 scans may not be a bad thing, in that the baby may not cooperate with the 1st one. Though it is my general (and humble) opinion that shy babies tend to be girls. Boys don't hide :)

So . . .we have had a bad run of luck lately. In a fender bender Saturday - hit by an illegal alien with no license, because he has no SSN, and then yesterday, my laptop died, which means no more working from home until a replacement can be found. ugh. Much as I don't like too-frequent ultrasounds, I am looking forward to seeing the baby again on Thursday!

MW: glad your HCT went up, any progress in that direction is a good thing! and as for your DH, yeah, sometimes you have to get up front and nasty in order to make them pay attention. But at least you got results. My dad said that when he was stationed overseas (a year in Okinawa) getting videos and stuff from us was a mixed blessing. He loved seeing us and hearing from us, but it made him miss us more, and reminded him of home (a good and a bad thing, I guess). Sometimes with guys, keeping the nose to the grindstone makes being away from loved ones easier. The frequent reminders of home make being away that much more difficult. - again, just a thought -

I need to have a talk with my DH . . . it seems like he hasn't touched me in ages (not necessarily for BD) but not even a casual touch as he walks by or whatever. It bothers me to no end, but I have a hard time discussing it rationally, which tends to yield better results than emotions.  oh well.

oh, and I am with you on the nausea. I am gagging and throwing up more than I did in the first trimester! ugh! needless to say, I don't think I've gained any more weight.

[MarineWife]

Wow, Katrina! You're good with the names. I couldn't think of one.

I think my nausea has affected my weight gain, too. For the last 3 weeks I had been gaining 2 lbs. a week. Ack! But this last week I didn't really gain anything even with birthday cake.

I get that it might be easier for dh if we're not always forefront in his mind. But, that doesn't make it ok to pretend that we don't exist, especially the boys who need to hear from him even if they don't always respond well. As much as I like to get calls from him, I always feel a little sad after we hang up. DS2 usually refuses to talk at first because he gets sad. The first time dh called, ds2 cried and ran out of the room. He came back a little later and was happy to talk to the point that I finally had to tell him to wrap it up. I have to admit I'm sick of and resentful about the excuses that everyone makes for him, as if he's the one having the hardest time. Sorry, but I don't buy it. He's not in the thick of the fighting. He spends most of his time in meetings all day or writing reports and when he's not doing that his time is completely his own. Even if it is just enough time to get some sleep at least he gets to sleep. I could go on and on but I don't want to because I start to feel like I'm being a whiner. I know I sound angry because I am. Suffice it to say that I'm exhausted, burned out, touched out with no relief in sight. I think the least he could do is make an effort to let us know he knows we still exist.

[akind1]

Not making excuses (after all, my dad was never in the thick of fighting either - as far as we could tell, he did pretty much what your DH does, desk work) - just trying to see from all sides. It ain't easy no matter which side you are on. He should call more often, especially with the boys needing the contact. No matter what is easier for him, he does need to remember that you need him.

Honestly, Kendrick was the only one that came to mind at first :), then I looked up names starting with "ken" in babynames.com. Even though we are pretty set on our name, I love name hunting!

[MarineWife]

Oops. I meant to say excuses that everyone seems to make for him. I know that most people aren't meaning it the way I take it. I hear it a lot from my mom. "Oh, Sean has it so hard. What you do is nothing compared to what he has to do." Thanks for the support, Mom. KWIM? Phone calls and video calls are all on him. I have no way to contact him. He has to make the initiative. Whenever we're in one of those situations, it strikes me hard how little effort he actually makes. He's not calling today, as it turns out, because they are shutting down their system for upgrades so he's going to try tomorrow. I'm not upset about that. I know he has no control over that.

I was just thinking about the touching thing last night. My dh rarely touches me in any kind of way anymore. I have mentioned it to him several times but he doesn't seem to get it. It will be interesting to see how things are when he comes home. When I don't have the motivation to get pg, I won't be making much effort in dtd. I'll bet we go for months without dtd and he won't have any clue why I'm mad at him.

I like looking at names, too. After a while, though, I go cross-eyed and get a headache. I can't look online. I prefer to look in a book. I sent dh an email saying that Brenden Sloan was it because I'm tired of him suggesting the same names over and over when I've told him they are not ok. His response was we'd talk about it and that he likes Gavin the best. I absolutely hate Gavin. We've been over that. There is no way I'm naming my child that. Sorry. Honestly, I think I'm back to Aston but I wanted to see dh's reaction if I really pushed for Brenden. The only thing that's holding me back from Aston is Ryan's comment that everyone will call him Ass. My next would be Aiden. I know it's common but I like it and it means, "little fiery one," which I think would be cute since this little guy will be a Leo. I've been told Leos are fire signs like Aries so we are supposed to be as thick as thieves.

I was up every 2 hours last night after going to bed around 10 pm. I eventually woke up for good around 4:30, I think. I stayed in bed until around 5:30 before giving up on getting any more sleep. I was able to doze for a little while on the couch. DS2 made microwave mac & cheese for him and his little bro. This cough I have is horrible. It feels like a thousand razor blades ripping my chest open every time I cough. Plus, I have to wear a pantiliner again because I pee on myself and I keep pulling muscles way down low in my pelvis. That hurts really bad, too, and scares me a little.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by jeninejessica 

Re: Names... I go back and forth with popularity. That's why DH laughs so much that I picked out Ryan, he keeps saying it's too normal for me. I like "different names" but conventional spellings. I grew up with a name nobody could spell or pronounce, and I hated it. That's one worry about Adelyn-- that people will spell it wrong, and also the Y in there makes it look like a "fad name". But any other spelling will lead to it being pronounced wrong... I want it like "adda-lynn" not "adda--lean". I'm not worried about Grace being so popular because it's a middle name, and besides, it's one of the few the DH picked out that I don't hate... so I'll run with it. lol. As long as it fits with the first name we ultimately pick, it will probably be the middle name. Boys is harder. Anyone know of a good "alternate" name for Kenneth? DH wants to use his fathers name, and I just can't stand it. I tried to push him towards using it as a girls name "Kenley", but it was a no go. 

I don't think Adelyn comes across too trendy, I'm being honest.  I think it's just a really nice name.  I like it a lot.

Kenneth... Hmm.  Kennen/Kennon? I like Kendrick.  I also like Kent.  I knew a guy named Kent once and he was really nice and it was a great name that no one else really had.

Originally Posted by akind1 

I need to have a talk with my DH . . . it seems like he hasn't touched me in ages (not necessarily for BD) but not even a casual touch as he walks by or whatever. It bothers me to no end, but I have a hard time discussing it rationally, which tends to yield better results than emotions.  oh well.

Isn't this such a downer?  Mine is acting similar.  Usually on his way out the door I get a, "See ya," instead of a kiss goodbye even.  Though, I mentioned it to him.  He scoffed at the time but I notice now he's definitely making more efforts to be touchy-feely.  I've also noticed though that he leaves all the sexual stuff up to me.  If I don't bring it up or start anything at night, he doesn't bother.  I prefer this. I hate to keep rejecting him.  I'm rarely in the mood.  Especially at night.  I'm just too exhausted and my body hurts too much.

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

I like looking at names, too. After a while, though, I go cross-eyed and get a headache. I can't look online. I prefer to look in a book. I sent dh an email saying that Brenden Sloan was it because I'm tired of him suggesting the same names over and over when I've told him they are not ok. His response was we'd talk about it and that he likes Gavin the best. I absolutely hate Gavin. We've been over that. There is no way I'm naming my child that. Sorry. Honestly, I think I'm back to Aston but I wanted to see dh's reaction if I really pushed for Brenden. The only thing that's holding me back from Aston is Ryan's comment that everyone will call him Ass. My next would be Aiden. I know it's common but I like it and it means, "little fiery one," which I think would be cute since this little guy will be a Leo. I've been told Leos are fire signs like Aries so we are supposed to be as thick as thieves.

Nobody is going to call him Ass!!!  OMG.  Don't let that be the one thing that holds you back!!  

[akind1]

Well, when I thought it might be nice to go by Kat in middle school, it never occurred to me that people (boys) would call me Kat Nuts. (Last name then was Nutz - pronounced Newtz). The name stuck with me for years. I can laugh now, but it wasn't funny then!

which is to say, you never know, some one just might try to call him Ass . . .you never know with kids.

I don't think I have ever turned down DH - but he has never been a frequent initiator. I hate the thought of being rejected, so sometimes just don't bother with asking. Problem is, the longer we go without, the easier it is to say, well, maybe tomorrow . . .and be like 3 weeks later still nothing! oh well.

Didn't think of Kent! I like it, even though it has sort of superman-ish connotations. (my sister would like it BECAUSE it has those connotations. she is a major superman fan.)

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by akind1 

Well, when I thought it might be nice to go by Kat in middle school, it never occurred to me that people (boys) would call me Kat Nuts. (Last name then was Nutz - pronounced Newtz). The name stuck with me for years. I can laugh now, but it wasn't funny then!

which is to say, you never know, some one just might try to call him Ass . . .you never know with kids.

I don't think I have ever turned down DH - but he has never been a frequent initiator. I hate the thought of being rejected, so sometimes just don't bother with asking. Problem is, the longer we go without, the easier it is to say, well, maybe tomorrow . . .and be like 3 weeks later still nothing! oh well.

Didn't think of Kent! I like it, even though it has sort of superman-ish connotations. (my sister would like it BECAUSE it has those connotations. she is a major superman fan.)

Yeah, unfortunately, I think I have to take the barely not a teenage guy's word on the ass thing. A few other adults I've mentioned it to kind of got what ds was saying and agreed. I can totally see teenage boys coming up with that and thinking it is funny. Although, I don't get the Kat Nuts thing. What does that even mean?

So true, too, that the longer you go without being intimate the easier it is to continue that way. It can also be kind of awkward when you do try something. I think that's one thing dh and I have trouble with after he's been deployed for long periods. I get kind of shy or something. I can't quite describe it but it's almost like starting over again. I'm not one of those that will show up at his homecoming in a sexy outfit and/or run up and jump into his arms. My dh isn't, either, so we end up just kind of standing there saying hello. It's really weird. It works the same way, I think, with just basic affection, too. The longer you go without kissing each other good-bye or giving a hug or holding hands or something simple like that the easier it is to keep not doing it.

I like Kennen/Kennon and Keenan or a variant spelling. Keenan would be at the top of my boy name list if we didn't already have a Kellen. Kent made me think of Superman, too.

I've started a thread in Nighttime Parenting. I've posted about this a few times but get no responses. I guess no one else has any experience with this particular situation. Maybe you guys can weigh in.

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1317507/bedtime-with-a-7yo-4yo-and-newborn

[Baby_Cakes]

Hmm...

The only thing I can think of is the new baby is going to be the last one to go to bed.  That's probably how it's going to end up here, too.  I can see myself having to put DD to bed while DH entertains the baby, and then I'll have to nurse the baby down to bed after.  Such a PITA.  I hate having to do it all myself.  I have to say, although my DH is physically here, I really don't see him being much help with DD once the baby comes.  Maybe I'm just irritated at him in general and that's why I feel that way, but even so.  Who knows.  We'll have to play it by ear.

[MarineWife]

Obviously, I don't know yet who will be the first to sleep. DS3 was almost always asleep for the first stretch before ds2 went to bed. We probably stay up later than most, though. We don't have to get up for school or anything else so we usually head to bed around 9 pm and are fully settled with lights out by 10. I can totally see the baby falling asleep around 8 or 9 and then being woken too early by the boys as they cause all kinds of noise and commotion while getting ready for bed. Then I'll have to stay up and nurse baby back to sleep again. I know I'm projecting and there's no way I can know what will happen yet but that's how I see things going. Usually, by the time we head to bed I'm exhausted so I don't want to have to work at getting a baby back to sleep.

Then there's the whole issue about who's going to sleep where. Both boys insist that they must sleep next to me. That will not work once the baby is here. I've talked to them about it several times but no one wants to budge. I'm either going to have to convince ds2 to be the bigger boy and sleep on the edge with ds3 in between him and me or I'll have to make them take turns sleeping next to me. Baby will be on the other side of me with a bedrail on the edge of the bed.

[pdiannet]

Do you use fans?  I use loud fans in my house and that is the key to keeping everyone sleeping while putting them to bed at different times.  We used to live in a house with concrete floors and the bedrooms on the bottom floor below the wooden floor upstairs.  It was awful!  It was a year of no sleep.  I literally got suicidal I was so exhausted from no quiet- so were the kids.  Now I am blessed with carpet and the bedrooms on the second floor- way better.  But we live in small quarters, so loud fans has been our blessing.

[akind1]

MW: Kat Nuts = Cat Testicles basically. (teenage boys indeed)

We are late nighters; DS typically is asleep between 10 and 11. on rare occaisions he will be asleep by 9:30. I go to bed between 11 and 12, and DH usually sometime after. Last night it was after 3 a.m. (grrr - this frustrates me, because he always says he wants to be a morning person, and when DS wakes up at 7 or 8 DH is sometimes not ready to handle it. go figure.) It depends for us on what DD (so weird to type that!) sleep habits will be. If I find her and DS want to sleep at about the same time, it may be me nursing her in bed with DS cuddled to one side. DS will let DH cuddle him to sleep, but DH usually doesn't ever lay  him in his crib. that may need to change. since DS no longer sleeps with us full time (only when he wakes in the middle of the night) toddler +baby co-sleeping isn't something I am hugely worried about. also, I plan on the baby being in the pack--n-play/bassinet thing next to the bed for the first couple months, so if DS does want to sleep, I dont' have to worry about him and the baby. even so, he always sleeps between me and DH so the baby would need to be on the other side anyway. will need to get my bed rail back once DD is co-sleeping full time with us (probably around 4-6 months) - this is all conjecture though, as who knows what DD will be like sleeping?

Carrie, I hear you! DH is even grumpy about doing bath time with DS, even though it is a rare thing anyway, and once he is doing it, he really seems to enjoy it. Fact is, DS actually prefers DH to do bath time. I do breakfast, naps, bedtime (not that we have much of a routine. it is basically, give kisses, lay in crib with blankey, and turn on musical projector) . . . and I do all the diaper changing when I am home, as well as the diaper laundry (don't mind, because I am picky about the laundry!)  oh well. we will have to divvy up responsibilities once the new baby is here.

[MarineWife]

Things were pretty easy with just ds2 and ds3. DS2 is a calmer, quiet guy who wasn't too particular about when he slept. He'd just lay down with me while I nursed ds3 to sleep and we'd all fall asleep together. DS3 is a completely different story. He is a wild man, doing flips and jumps and who knows what else on the way to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Getting him to walk calmly and quietly anywhere is virtually impossible. He gets big bro going and then the both of them are going crazy. Or else, they bicker the entire time. Drives me crazy! Last night was quite nice in comparison and I made a point of telling them how much I appreciated it. I doubt it will stick, though.

We have ceiling fans that are virtually silent. Plus, we all sleep in the same room at the same time. I am hoping that dh will be able to get the boys to sleep in their room with him once he gets home. The only problem with that is that they always only want me at bedtime, not Daddy, probably because Dad is hardly ever here. DS2 is still very much afraid of sleeping alone. Every time I mention them sleeping in their own room he cries and says he can't do it because he's to scared. He's the one more likely to wake up several times a night in his own room. He still gets scared when he's sleeping right next to me. That makes bedtime difficult right now sometimes because both boys want me to put my arms around them. I can't lay on my back right now because I start to feel oxygen deprived pretty quickly. I try to sit up some until ds3 falls asleep and then lay down facing ds2 until he falls asleep.

I guess that unless I force them to just go to bed in their own room (which I don't see happening because I'm not going to send them in there to cry alone), there's nothing I can do until I find out how things are going to be with the new baby around. There's really no point in me laying down with them in their room until they fall asleep because I fall asleep, too, and then we are still sleeping together. It would be nice if I could tuck them in, read them a story and leave and they'd go to sleep but that doesn't happen. I never thought it would take ds2 so long to want to be in his own room.

[AnnieA]

MW, if I were in your situation, I would probably start trying to stagger bedtimes, especially since it sounds like DS3 gets DS2 wound up. Would DS2 lay on the couch or in his room and read/look at books while you get DS3 to sleep? Then DS2 could come in to the bed with you guys to fall asleep? Then you would only have DS3 and DS4 in the bed trying to get DS3 asleep.

I'm seriously reaching that point where I am an angry pregnant woman. And it's not pretty! I'm getting so frustrated with DH because I need HELP getting and keeping the house clean and he's so busy with work that he doesn't have the time/energy to help me. And I'm about to lose my mind! I'm trying to stay calm but geez! It's the little things that are bugging me like his seemingly complete inability to hang his clothes up or put them in the hamper. The rocking chair is right next to his closet so he uses that as his personal hanging space for his clothes. That has to change because I'm going to need the chair for the baby.

Ordered a couple of things off of amazon this morning. A large wet bag to put in a plastic trashcan for dirty dipes and a small wet bag to keep in the diaper bag. Also ordered some diaper liners. Not sure if I'm going to use them but I'd like to have them at least. I also ordered a 3-pk of flameless LED candles to take to the hospital with me and use around the jacuzzi tub so I don't have to have the florescent lights on.

[MarineWife]

Oh, those candles sound nice, Annie. I never would have thought of something like that. Maybe I'll get a few for my home.

Not to feed your angry but I got myself angry at my dh for that the other day and he's not even here. I was thinking about when he's home and he thinks all he has to do is go to work and cook dinner. After that's done he usually just falls asleep and I'm left taking care of everything else for the rest of the night after I've been doing everything for the kids all day. He doesn't seem to get that it's not fair that he thinks he's off the clock once he leaves the office but I don't get to leave my office. KWIM? Most men just don't get it.

I don't think I explained the bedtime situation well. Once we all get in bed and turn the lights out, it's not a problem. The boys settle down and fall asleep very quickly. It's getting to the bed that is the problem. The way I envision things is that sometime around 8-10 pm I will nurse the baby and he will fall asleep. I will put him in bed and then try to get the other boys ready and in bed. In the process of having them brush their teeth and use the toilet and change (if they want to) they will make so much noise that they will wake the baby. So, just when I'm completely exhausted and ready to just crash, I'll have to nurse the baby again and hope he goes right back to sleep. And then, of course, baby will be awake again in another hour or two to nurse again and I'll get no time for sleep/relaxation.

I don't try to set an arbitrary bed time for baby so that will just be whenever he happens to fall asleep. I find it very frustrating if I get everyone into bed in the hopes that baby (or anyone else for that matter) will fall asleep because then he almost certainly will not. This is based on my prior experience. It's much more pleasant for me to stay up until baby falls asleep. Does that make sense? Now that I've written this out I've got an idea that seems so simple. I could just get the boys ready for bed while everyone is still awake. That way once baby falls asleep the rest of us can just get into bed and go to sleep, too. It won't be the end of the world if they brush their teeth at 8 but then have another snack at 9 or 10 and go to bed, will it? Will all their teeth rot and fall out if we do that?

[Baby_Cakes]

MW - I really think it'll work out organically.  I wouldn't stress about it right now.  Either the baby will learn to tolerate the noise, or the boys will learn to be quieter.  You'll figure it out.  I give you so much credit for what you do already, alone, without your DH home.  (HA, even if he wouldn't help if he were there!)

I'm having my own anxiety lately.  DD and I are besties.  Like seriously, she and I are two peas in a pod.  I feel like when this baby comes, I have NO clue how things are going to feel or change b/w she and I, and I'm so anxious that she's going to feel replaced or jilted.  And I really, really don't want that.  I don't want to hurt her feelings.  I know I'll still have to make time for just she and I...but then I feel badly that the new baby won't get my attention, and what kind of mom does that make me?

Like for instance, she won't let DH get her out of the car.  I have to do it.  When he goes to unbuckle her carseat, she yells, "No, MOMMY DO IT!" and will pitch a fit.  It's much easier for me to just unbuckle her and let her walk than to let DH struggle.  So I've been trying to tell her when baby Finn comes, Daddy is going to have to get her out of the car to make it easier for me.  But now I'm thinking, no, he can just carry the baby. 

But that BOTHERS me!  I feel like then I'm choosing DD over DS (OOooh Katrina, it IS weird to type DS!!) and just pawning him off.  

I guess I just do not know how I'm going to juggle everything.  I want to be supermom and I know it's going to be hard.  I'm just a little scared that people are going to get hurt.
 

[AnnieA]

MW, I think you have a good plan. I would just have them drink some water after eating a bedtime snack to get rid of excess food.

Had a followup ultrasound this afternoon to check Ava's growth and we discovered that she's breech. Went directly to my chirp and had an adjustment. Going back in the morning for another adjustment. He has helped other breech babies turn.

Will have another scan in two weeks to see what position she's in. Never a dull moment with this little girl!

[MarineWife]

Annie ~ Was she breech before or did she flip? You could try some stuff from Spinning Babies. There's still a lot of time for her to turn, too.

I think the reason I'm worrying about bedtime when baby comes is because it's been stressing me out now. When I head everyone up to bed I'm ready to just crash and I have been getting very annoyed that the boys won't settle. I tell them almost every night that when we go into the bedroom at night it's time to settle down but even that creates noise and commotion. We used to be able to climb in bed and snuggle and talk or read books or watch a special TV show. It was our quiet time. Lately, it's just been crazy with the acrobatics and wrestling/playing and bickering and I feel like I'm not being heard. The only way I've been able to get them to settle is by making them leave my room and go in theirs for a while. It's just a mess.

[AnnieA]

She flipped. She was vertex at the last scan at 32 weeks. I did the breech inversion position for 10 minutes tonight that I saw on the spinning babies site. My chiro was not surprised that she was breech because my left hip is very inflamed since he saw me last week. He couldn't really adjust it because it was so inflamed. So he sent me home with instructions to ice my back and butt and have DH massage my left butt cheek tonight and I go back to see him tomorrow morning. He said I need to take it easy because I'm getting myself in a bad place physically and that's why a lot of babies go breech. They don't like the position of the pelvis and so they flip around. So I'll probably have to increase my visits from weekly to at least twice a week until she flips or I deliver.