Planning birthday parties for sisters with birthdays the same week

[Flower of Bliss]

My girls have August birthdays 6 days apart.  DD1 will be 5, and DD2 will be 2.  Last year we did a party for DD2 in late July the weekend of her church dedication with out of town family in for the ceremony and church friends, and did mid August party for DD2 with her friends. 

This year I have no clue what to do.  We'll definitely do a small family day for each child on her actual birthday, but DD1 is already inviting friends to her birthday party   It would break her heart if I said no party.

We have lots of family friends with siblings in the age range of our 2 girls, that regularly do play dates with us.  I would want to invite those people (which would be multiple families with 2-3 kids) to both parties.  I don't want to invite them to two parties close together.  I'm also not ok with inviting these people to a party for just DD1 and ignoring the fact that it's also DD2's birthday.  We did a party for DD1's 2nd birthday.

DD1 all of the sudden has a collection of friends whose families I don't really know.  She recently started attending a small Waldorf school, and I really haven't gotten to know many of the families.  However, she insists that she wants to invite "all of her friends from school" to her party.  It's a smallish class, I think 18 kids total.  She also has friends from dance she wants to invite, as well as our regular play group and church friends. 

All of our family is out of town, and we'll likely try to do either seperate visits from the ILs and from my side, or a trip out of town to see family close to their birthdays.

We've always done parties at our house, but this year I have NO CLUE what to do.  We live in the deep south, so August temperatures are well into the 90s and mosquitos are a big problem, especially for my girls who attract them like magnets.  So, it's not a great time for backyard or park parties. 

Any ideas?

[Linda on the move]

Are their birthdays and school year such that DD#1 could take a treat to school and consider it having had a party with her school friends? Or could she do a party at the end of the school day, so it is more about her and her friends, and not the whole families?

If so, could DD#2 have a small mid-day party while sister is off at school with just the little, not-yet school aged friends? something super simple that she could really enjoy, rather than being lost in the crowd? I once hosted a party that consisted of 4 children and 3 mommies, and the kids sat around the coffee table wearing hats and had a wonderful time. For a toddler, small can actually be more fun, and youngest children seldom get a chance to really be the center of attention.

I think that the whole huge family thing is more ideal for small children who don't yet have their own circle of friends, and a just friends parties make sense as kids get older. You are right on that cusp with your older DD, and your kids' birthdays being close together is complicating things for your younger DD. Once a kid has 18+ friends to invite to a party, it really no longer makes sense to invite over all of YOUR friends, too.
 

Other thoughts:

Originally Posted by Flower of Bliss 

, but DD1 is already inviting friends to her birthday party  

I would put a stop to that. Tell her no more of that nonsense. You guys will make the invitation list together and send out pretty invitations. That way the mommies know, and they are the ones who put things on the calendars anyway. It's confusing for some kids when a child invites them somewhere, but the parents don't make it happen. This is behavior you can stop.

Besides, some kids get icky about it, and after inviting another child, get mad at the child and un-invite them.

We did a party for DD1's 2nd birthday.

You don't have to do the exact same thing. It can be a different kind of celebration.

However, she insists that she wants to invite "all of her friends from school" to her party.  It's a smallish class, I think 18 kids total.  She also has friends from dance she wants to invite, as well as our regular play group and church friends. 

Set boundaries. Right now she doesn't know the difference between an acquaintance and a friend. Have a party, but decide what you can do and then tell her. You don't have to invite everyone she wants to invite.

But don't invite your friends instead of inviting her friends. It's her party.

All of our family is out of town, and we'll likely try to do either seperate visits from the ILs and from my side, or a trip out of town to see family close to their birthdays.

That's not really a party issue. Also, the immediate family day really isn't a party issue either. If we are doing a big party (we don't do them for every birthday) and it isn't on the actual birthday, then on the birthday we have the child's favorite meal for dinner, fuss over them, give them a small present, and have  *small* dessert than we can stick candles in. We don't do 2 birthday cakes.

With the number of kids involved and with birthday's close together, you might suggest to your older DD that her party be a no-gifts party, or a make it a collection for a charity she could get excited about, such as an animal shelter. That many gifts flowing into your house could be VERY difficult to deal with.

With out kids, the have a choice between a bigger present from us or a big party. We feel that a big party IS a birthday present.

For your older Dd, you might check into destination parties. My kids were at one last weekend that was a jumpy castle/inflatable obstacle/etc place but it had different areas, so the kids from one party with just with kids from their party. It was very cool. They had an hour of VERY active play, and then were moved to room for food and games. The whole party took 2 hours and was a blast. I've no idea what it cost, but something like that might be fun with a bunch of kids and hot temps.