Cannot find a ped in Indianapolis - making me feel so defeated

[Grapejelly]

I posted a while back about trying to find a ped for my intact son on the northside of Indy. Of the few suggestions I got, one wasn't taking new patients, one isn't anywhere near me and the other doesn't accept my insurance. The one doctor who isn't accepting new patients had other docs in her practice so I figured hey why not go meet with one she works with? He said he retracts during well baby exams. I found another ped via a friend who has a girl. I liked the ped ok but she also said she retracts. Both said it in a very "well, it's just what you DO" sort of way. Ugh.

I am just TIRED of not being able to find a pediatrician who knows more than I do about having a foreskin!!!! Seriously! Is this so hard??! One simple google search on how to care for an intact penis results in DO NOT RETRACT on every page in huge bold letters yet every single doctor I have found says they HAVE TO do it. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone!

I know I can just keep going to the same doc I have been going to (who thinks you really should circumcise because it's cleaner - ) and I can keep reminding him every single time he removes the diaper to not retract. But when something happens, god forbid, and we needs the medical expertise and all I have is Dr Cut It Off as a guide, I know I am going to be scrambling to find a more intact friendly doc. I'd rather just find one now. I know Indiana isn't the top state for intact boys (hahah far from it) but there has GOT to be some ped in this area that is educated in this department.

How the heck do I go about finding this? Does anyone have any advice? DO I just start randomly picking peds for interviews and keep going to on these meet and greets till I find one that tells me they know better than to retract a baby's foreskin? This is getting exhausting.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

yeah I think your only choice is to keep looking or stick with what you've got now.

My kids ped knows nothing about the intact penis and when he did have an issue we got it fixed anyway with abx and topical creme.

[azgirl]

Go through the list of peds on your insurance and pick out the foreign-sounding names. Do quick internet searches to determine where they started their education and try to find one from India :) But really, a pediatrician from a non-circing culture is the way to go in my experience. Anyway, that may seems silly, but it's a start!

[HopefulJo]

We take our 5-month-old to a family doctor in Carmel, north of Indy. When I interviewed her before he was born, I asked "if she did circumcisions" to feel out where she stood on the issue, and she made a 'yuck' face & said "Not anymore", which gave me the sense she's totally supportive of not circ'ing (and has changed her mind on the issue at some point). She hasn't tried to retract during any of our visits yet, but, admittedly, our baby's really young, and I didn't outright ask about retraction (though I'd say something to her if she tried!). As a bonus, she's totally supportive of our delayed/selective vaxxing. She has the attitude I wish more doctors did: "You're the parents. It's my job to let you know the official recommendations, but you make the decisions for your child, and I respect that"

PM me for more info. 

[Night_Nurse]

I just want to say that even if you have a Dr who likes to retract, you can always refuse. Just don't take the diaper off. Just say " I know you like to retract the foreskin but everything I've read says not to. My son is not have any penis issues, he's urinating just fine, so I decline the examination of his genitals". They can't force you to take off the diaper and that way you don't have to take the chance the Dr might retract against your wishes. I understand you want a pro-intact Dr but in the meantime this might be your best bet.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by HopefulJo 

We take our 5-month-old to a family doctor in Carmel, north of Indy. When I interviewed her before he was born, I asked "if she did circumcisions" to feel out where she stood on the issue, and she made a 'yuck' face & said "Not anymore", which gave me the sense she's totally supportive of not circ'ing (and has changed her mind on the issue at some point). She hasn't tried to retract during any of our visits yet, but, admittedly, our baby's really young, and I didn't outright ask about retraction (though I'd say something to her if she tried!). As a bonus, she's totally supportive of our delayed/selective vaxxing. She has the attitude I wish more doctors did: "You're the parents. It's my job to let you know the official recommendations, but you make the decisions for your child, and I respect that"

PM me for more info. 

Don't assume she won't. You could go along fine and then she suddenly decides that he 'should' be able to retract because he's X age. Go into her with a cheerful "hey, you've been doing really great, but just to be perfectly clear, here's the info on retracting intact penises from the AAP."

Grapejelly, OTOH, should send letters to the retracting doctors stating "I will not be using your practice because of this, here's the information from the AAP on why you are wrong."  Emphasize this part

Foreskin retraction should never be forced. While the foreskin is still attached to the glans of the penis, do not try to pull it back, especially in an infant. Forcing the foreskin to retract before it is ready may harm the penis and cause pain, bleeding, and tears in the skin.

[Super~Single~Mama]

OP - next time you go on a ped interview go armed with the AAP information on intact care, if you like the ped overall, then bring up retraction, hand over the AAP info and let them know that you do not consent to retraction under any circumstances.  Be pro-active.  Leave the info with any ped's that you don't like as well, so that they don't continue to hurt intact babies unknowingly.

[Sarah]

Hi- I'm another Indiana mom, and I understand your frustration.  I don't live near Indy, so I can't help you with a ped- but maybe you can ask around on a local AP moms group or LLL and see if there are any doctors those mom like.

As for what you uncovered during your search... seriously- CHILD ABUSE... a REALLY serious problem... this is not just a case of not "clicking" with a doctor's style... you have discovered doctors who are habitually doing serious harm to children.  It doesn't matter that their hearts may be in the "right place" or that their actions are "only ignorance" ( read Black Beauty to hear about only ignorance) They need to be warned and educated.  You have a moral obligation to protect the children and innocent parents who stand to be harmed by those people.  Thankfully there is a very easy way to deal with this that won't require too much from you- Doctors Opposing Circumcision will send a very sterm letter to those doctors on your behalf.  PLEASE contact them with the names and addy's of those doctors.  PLEASE.

Contact John Geisheker:  [e-mail] 

http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/info/info-forcedretraction.html 

"Only ignorance! only ignorance! how can you talk about only ignorance? Don't you know that it is the worst thing in the world, next to wickedness? -- and which does the most mischief heaven only knows. If people can say, `Oh! I did not know, I did not mean any harm,' they think it is all right." -Anna Sewell (Black Beauty)
 

[Nitenites]

I have a foreskin friendly ped urologist at Riley, and a forekin friendly ped on the southside, but I know little about the northside, Wish I could help! 

[KMomto2xy]

Dr. William Fisher

Circle City Pediatrics

He has 2 intact boys, he's on the east side, though.

[KMomto2xy]

Originally Posted by azgirl 

Go through the list of peds on your insurance and pick out the foreign-sounding names. Do quick internet searches to determine where they started their education and try to find one from India :) But really, a pediatrician from a non-circing culture is the way to go in my experience. Anyway, that may seems silly, but it's a start!

Just because they have a 'foreign sounding' last name does not mean they know anything at all about caring for an intact penis, or that they're first generation American.

[azgirl]

Originally Posted by KMomto2xy 

Just because they have a 'foreign sounding' last name does not mean they know anything at all about caring for an intact penis, or that they're first generation American.

[/quote

Of course not! But it is certainly a start and an approach that has worked. Having a ped from another country where RIC isn't practiced is one good way to get a ped that isn't stressed out about an intact penis.

Should I point out that just because someone has intact boys doesn't mean they know how to care for an intact penis?

[AutumnW]

I'm in Indianapolis and what I have learned is that just because we live in a big city doesn't mean that you will find exactly what you are looking for in your area.  We live on the east side and drive about 45 minutes south to bargersville to our ped because we tried several here in the city and I was annoyed by all of them and their robotic answers.  We then got a recommendation from a local ap mama and tried out our current practice and loved them.