Here's my happy dentist story, maybe you or someone else can get something out of it-
Last august we took our kids (then 4.5, 4.5, and 20 mo) to the dentist for the first time. Micah, 4.5, had a molar with visible decay, not just on the surface, but like a crater on the side and top. We found out his 4 second molars didn't form enough (or any?) enamel. Anyway, this dentist, who is a top rated ped dentist wanted to put a stainless steel crown on it. And he wanted to do it in what -to me and my dh- was a traumatic way (grabbing him from the waiting room, restraining him, doing the work, and then we would go back and "rescue" him. They called it "grab and go"). no thanks.
We got a second opinion months later (yes, we should have moved quicker, but it is what it is) with our family dentist. He put a filling in it, and had me sit next to the chair while he did it. It went great. Only a filling- not a crown!!
best of luck with your little one.