~~~~~~~~~~*JUNE* 2011 INFERTILITY ONE THREAD~~~~~~~~~~ - Page 2

[tantylynn]

CONGRATULATIONS GOZAL! 

Your story is amazing! I hope you keep a journal or blog or something so you never forget it  I won't move you to the graduates list until you're good and ready, just let me know!

Renavoo Sorry AF found you, I hope you're able to get some R&R while she's here. TTC is exhausting! Someday we'll have BFPs to make it all worth it!

AFM, Looks like I'm not out this cycle after all. I thought I didn't get any BD in the fertile window FF gave me. But this morning I got a +OPK and a low temp, so FF changed it's mind and says I haven't Od yet. YIPPEE!!!

[brichole1214]

I'm at work SOOOOOOO early this morning! I got here at 3am alabama time and let me tell ya...i really didn't wanna roll out of bed!  I will be training one of the new girls who we've hired starting this morning and i'm kinda nervous about that lol...especially since AF FINALLY decided to kick it into gear and bring on a full flow now!!!  So i'm on CD1 now and thinking about using my OPKs earlier than i have been to see if i'm Oing early since my cycles are so short now.  This one was 22 days and that's about the average now days.  It's really taking a lot for me to get use to these cycles being so close together.  I don't know if i'm happy that i'm having shorter cycles or depressed about it.  LOL.  The only good thing about my long cycles was the fact that I was able to get more BDing in during the month lol.  I think this month we are just going to play it by ear though and if i don't notice any O this month then I will go to a herbalist around here to see if they can recommend anything for me to start taking. 

Deborahbgkelly:  I hope your DH's SA goes well today and i'm happy that your O is holding off until after the test is done :)  It's nice when our bodies decide to listen to what we want lol.  Welcome to the thread and I really hope that your stay is short!

Renavoo:  Sorry that AF showed up yesterday but at least you have a plan for this cycle!!!  I really hope that you don't have to go on to the IVF cycle because of a sticky bean with the Femara/IUI cycle :)    I hope that you finish getting settled in soon and that you can just rest.  I TOTALLY understand the stresses of the TTC with IF issues and it really does drain you to the BONE!!! 

Sending out lots of love and hugs to everyone!!!  : )  

[zanelee]

Congrats Gozal!!!!! Yippeeeee!!!!

 

[deborahbgkelly]

Thanks Brichole! It happens so rarely that our bodies listen to us, that I am extremely grateful. Will keep everyone posted.

[LuluRoo]

Hi all - I haven't check in here in awhile, so I thought I'd drop a line.  Congrats Kaydove and Gozal!  Way to start the month of June off on a good foot! 

Great news, TantyLynn!  Glad you didn't miss your window!

AFM - AF showed up on Friday, in full force on Saturday.  I'd had a few - hpts, so I was prepared and not too disappointed.  The good news is that it looks like I O'd on CD 14 or 15 and my LP was 14 days.  I don't think I've ever had a 28 day cycle in my life, so this is great!  Right now I'm on CD 3 and will start my 2nd round of Clomid @ 50 mg on CD 5.  I had little/no CM this past month (used pre-seed) and was concerned about my lining. 

Judging by AF, I think my lining was pretty thick.  Anyone have any thoughts on this, i.e. whether you can tell from AF how your lining is doing?

[tantylynn]

Brichole I'm glad AF stopped teasing you and is out in full force now so you can move on! It's totally crazy how some of us have problems with late O and super long cycles, and some of us are exact opposite! I hope your cycles lengthen out on their own, and maybe the OPKs will help give you a clue about what's going on. If not, seeing an herbalist sounds like a good plan. Fingers crossed for a longer cycle this time around! 

LuluRoo I don't know for sure, but I was under the same impression as you - heavy AF = thick lining. I think having a normal-length cycle is a good sign and I am SO hopeful for you on this second round of Clomid.

AFM, DH and I have definitely gotten busy, but that included a huge fight last night b/c he tried to tell me he was too tired. Last month he did the same thing, said no on the day I got the + OPK. So frustrating! I know he's just stressed, but it's hard not to get caught up in the moment and say things you don't mean. We've made up now though and I should be covered if O happens in the next day or so ..

[gozal]

Thanks for all the love, guys! It means a lot to me. My beta from yesterday (13dpo) was 44, which the office was very happy with! Now I do two more quantitative betas and then u/s. I think I will really start to breathe again if the first doubling time comes back looking good. I am definitely feeling pg - I gag if I go near my beloved morning coffee or evening cup of tea, have an aversion to sweets of all things, and can fall asleep at any given moment if I am anywhere near a couch. Yay!!!

LuluRoo, I always thought, too, that AF reflects the thickness of the lining. But I have learned that it's not so, due to the monitoring I've had. My last AF, I knew for a fact that I had a nice, thick, triple-stripe lining from u/s. But my period was the same light one I've had since my first pregnancy. From what I understand it's mostly hormones that control the heaviness or lightness of our periods. Apparently that's why young teenagers often get heavy periods, because their hormones are still regulating - I did, ugh. They were the worst. Certain blood conditions (like anemia) can affect bleeding amount too, I think. However, it seems to me like a heavy period would at least have to indicate that you had a substantial lining, or else what would that be, coming out? It's more the other way around, that if you have a light period, it does not mean that you had a poor lining.

Tantylynn, Yay for well-timed bd!

Brichole, boo for AF but here's to a brand-new cycle!

Renavoo, hoping this femara/iui cycle totally rocks for you!!

[deborahbgkelly]

Originally Posted by tantylynn 

Brichole I'm glad AF stopped teasing you and is out in full force now so you can move on! It's totally crazy how some of us have problems with late O and super long cycles, and some of us are exact opposite! I hope your cycles lengthen out on their own, and maybe the OPKs will help give you a clue about what's going on. If not, seeing an herbalist sounds like a good plan. Fingers crossed for a longer cycle this time around! 

LuluRoo I don't know for sure, but I was under the same impression as you - heavy AF = thick lining. I think having a normal-length cycle is a good sign and I am SO hopeful for you on this second round of Clomid.

AFM, DH and I have definitely gotten busy, but that included a huge fight last night b/c he tried to tell me he was too tired. Last month he did the same thing, said no on the day I got the + OPK. So frustrating! I know he's just stressed, but it's hard not to get caught up in the moment and say things you don't mean. We've made up now though and I should be covered if O happens in the next day or so ..

I can understand that DHs get stressed too. My DH refused to go a third night last month and it was, of course, the day I O'd. I tried to give him some warning this time and he grumbled. Take comfort in the fact, that the 2 or 3 days before O are actually your prime days since it gives time for the egg to travel down the fallopian tube and meet right on O day (if we're lucky). That doesn't mean I'm not going to insist on quite a bit from DH this cycle, but if I can't get him to cooperate as much as I would like, I can feel a bit better about it.

[deborahbgkelly]

Having a hard day today and could use some support. I want so badly to be excited for DH's cousin and his wife, but instead I started crying. I'm sure after I get over some of these feelings, I will be very excited for them.  I don't think they started officially trying much before we did and they are 12 weeks along. They announced it today. We are now the last children/grandchildren to have no kids. Granted, we are the youngest, but not by very many years. This post is not meant make anyone who has their BFP feel badly, I am just having a rough day. I figured in this thread, most people would understand.

[renavoo]

Oh Deborah, I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult day. I definitely know what you mean because there are days that I feel sad or upset too, when I see pregnant women walking around. It always gets back to "what the heck is wrong with my body?!" I hate not knowing what is wrong and why I'm unable to get pregnant. But keep your chin up. You WILL get pregnant. Definitely vent on this board because it helps to relieve some of the stress, especially when you know that people here understand what you're going through.

Thanks ladies, for the words of support. I'm really just trying to get my spirits up about this process too. I'm one of those people who hates not knowing what is happening. My DH has had to deal with a lot of mood swings because there are days that I just want to stop trying! I keep thinking that we have such an amazing relationship and I rationalize my disappointment at not being pregnant by thinking that my DH and I are so happy anyway. But I know that we really both want a little baby to love.

Anyway, Deborah, big hugs to you!! Hopefully, you'll be the one telling us, and your family, the good news!

[deborahbgkelly]

Thanks Renavoo! I called my mom. That always helps. She also struggled to get PG,s o she could relate, thought it was pretty clear cut for her. We have a lot working against us, unfortunately. Besides my Endo and hypothyroid, DH had testicular cancer last year. I know one way or another I'll have a child, but it just didn't feel good to see yet another person announcing their pregnancy. Hugs to you too. Thanks for the support.

[deborahbgkelly]

We got the results of the SA. DH has some major issues going on. Very low count: 14.5 per million (or whatever the measurement is) when they want a minimum of 60 per million. Motility was also very low. It was fine at first, 72%, but after 2 hours was down to 51% and they want at least a 60%. The good news is he had an SA done that was alright a little over a year ago and we froze that sperm. Looks like we will be heading to CCRM. No wonder my eggo isn't preggo yet. As much as it is a bummer, at least we have something to go on and steps to take.

[tantylynn]

Gozal What an exciting time for you! Keep the updates coming

*hugs* deborahbgkelly! Renavoo is right, this is the perfect place to share your thoughts. I think we've all felt the excitement for others/sorrow for ourselves/jealousy and "WHY ME?" every now and again. I think we've earned the right to those feelings! Way to have a good attitude about DH's SA results. What a relief to have a backup plan! Let us know how your going with the process...will it be IVF?

[monkeyscience]

deborah - Sorry for the bad news, but glad you got some answers! Having a diagnosis has made it a lot easier for me to deal with, because then I know what's wrong and can make a plan of action accordingly. Sounds like you are making your plans now!

[deborahbgkelly]

Not sure whether it will be IVF, but I suspect that given there are issues on both sides they will suggest that. I imagine with ICSI. Most expensive plan, but most promising, so probably well worth the money. I also think FET might work for us, but who knows. We have some more testing to do on me and then we will probably see Dr. Gustofson and we'll know more then. My mom has offered to advance us the money until things get settled with my mother-in-law's estate, so that helps a bit. Thanks for all the support everyone!

[deborahbgkelly]

DH is insisting on doing another sample at a different lab. I'll play, but I doubt the numbers will change.

[gozal]

Well, my second beta was not good. I am going to have a miscarriage, but it hasn't started yet. I feel like I shouldn't be so devastated, but I am.

[monkeyscience]

So sorry, Gozal! And there's no reason why you shouldn't be devastated! You've been waiting and working for this baby, and now it's not happening. Be gentle with yourself.

[brichole1214]

Gozal: Big hugs sweetie!  I'm so sorry!!! I know that doesn't help any, but know that we are all here for you!

deborahbgkelly:  So sorry to see that the numbers are lower from the SA.  I think you're a wonderful wife to "play along" with your DH wanting to have another test done at a different lab.  I really really pray that maybe the first test was messed up some how.  Maybe you guys are able to get a definite plan put together soon about which way you will go with this! 

AFM:  AF is starting to slack off some so i figure with the way the rest of my cycles have gone she'll be completely gone by tomorrow or sunday!  I'm putting in another 12 hour day today and let me tell you...when my alarm clock went off at 1:35 this morning i just wanted to throw it across the room!  I really don't feel like i've been getting much sleep lately and that can't be good for my body!  DD#1 comes home from Disney World Saturday night though and my boss said that I can come in at 11am sunday instead of working another 12 hour shift...so that makes me REALLY happy!! She's been gone for a week and it's killed me every day that she was gone and I wasn't able to see her!  I really need to get a new lap top and the internet at the house...because if i would of had the internet i could have at least skyped with her or something!!  Well, i need to get to work....i have to go ahead and get some of my reports out of the way before my trainee showes up at 630!  I hope everyone has a great day and I'll try to check back in later.  HUGS TO EVERYONE!!!

[RosieL]

I think I would like to join this thread. As much as I'd like to think it's too early, we have SA results that indicate otherwise. I'm 29, DH is 30, we've been trying since Dec/Jan, and I'm CD18 waiting to O in the next two or three days. I have pretty regular cycles of 32-33 days, but last cycle was short (28, 10day LP) and January's was long (42, don't know if it was annovulatory. Here's my FF link: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2e52aa:

The only worrisome issue with me so far is spotting the last two months early. DH mentioned that he had a varicocele, and still does, in high school. I asked him to get a SA and got the results yesterday. It looks like his morphology is low on the Kruger scale (results jotted down from the nurse's phone call are below). I've read a lot of posts and think that nothing online agrees about what bad morphology means. One fertility doc says it's the most important indicator of male factor fertility, and another fertility doc's blog says it's way over blown. I don't know what to think. I have a $2,500 cap on fertility diagnosis and treatment this year, but we will switch plans during open season in December to something that covers more treatment if it comes to that. 

I'm yo-yoing with emotions. I quit my job and started school full time (for a phd, I want to be a prof) and I just keep thinking I can't afford IVF I can't afford IVF, what will we do? My fingers are cross that we'll just win the sperm lottery and one will make it to my eggs and uterus, assume they're doing alright themselves. 

The SA results: 

Appearance - normal
Viscosity - norm
Liquefaction - 29 minutes
Volume - 2.0 mL
Concentration - 43.50 x 10^6 per mL
Motility - 75%
Total motile - 55.25
Sperm
Morphology - 2% are normal
Predominant abnormal 40%

(For the blurb: Me 29, DH 30, trying since 12/2011. We're looking at low Kruger morphology so far, no other testing yet.)