Thank you so much for all the continued thoughts! I am now thoroughly confused. My temp hasn't fallen yet nor have I started bleeding. No cramping, really. My RE told me it would be "soon" on Wed. and to come in tomorrow (Mon.) so we could start monitoring for next cycle. I looked at a lot of m/c charts over on ff and it seems that for most women, bleeding is the first sign, before temp drop, or else occurs on the day of temp drop. I did find one chart more like mine, that took 5 days after a negative blood test to start. I haven't taken an hpt since last Fri. (17dpo), when it was obviously positive but not a dark line. When I tested 18dpo with DS it was a blaring line. Does anyone know how many days "behind" urine is in terms of reflecting hormones? I really don't know what to think or hope for. I have been feeling more positive today, though, about the future in general.
Monkey, for vitamin D, since you're in Texas and it's summertime, I would simply make an effort to sit outside in the sun for ~15-30 minutes a day. Artificial vitamin D is pretty hard for the body to synthesize. It has to be taken with fat, like in whole milk, and even then it is poorly absorbed. But sit in the sun, which feels nice anyway, and you're all set! No sun block, of course. As long as you're not sitting out between about 10 in the morning and 2 in the afternoon, I don't think you need to worry about sun damage to your skin. (I spent last summer in a super hot, intense sun place and managed not to use sun block at all. I know I'm kind of a weirdo with this, but I try to avoid sun block whenever possible.)
Zanelee, have you ever had a 7dpo progesterone level? I think that's the best way to tell if the temps reflect a progesterone problem. If it is, I think suppositories work a lot better than topical cream, though I would definitely go for it with the cream until you can get a script. I don't even get AF until 48 hours after I stop taking progesterone supps.
RosieL, we also currently live in a state that mandates infertility coverage, but it only applies to employers based in the state. Since DH's employer, through which we have our insurance, is not based in the state where we live, the law can't compel them to offer it. My RE's office asked me about it, and I think if his employer was based in the state, they would have helped us petition them for coverage. There is a person at my RE's office whose job is to work with the insurance companies (she's wonderful!) and I think that is part of her job. So if the employer providing your coverage is based in Maryland, I think all you have to do is petition them. If you call them, they will tell you the process for appeal, or ask your RE's office.
My RE also thinks charting is useless, as does my dad the research scientist. I disagree, obviously, since I do chart, but I also don't think they're wrong to be skeptical. My dad pointed out that if charting "works" for a woman - if you see a clear temp shift and the chart reflects your experiences, such as when you get your period - then it's probably reasonably accurate. However, if the chart is unclear, it doesn't necessarily mean that there's a problem - some women's bbts are just never accurate. I've read that Sweden study where they compared time to pregnancy in a large number of fertile couples, those BDing 3 times a week vs. those charting, and time to pregnancy was actually slightly lower in the 3x/week group. I do it because it gives me something to do, because I like having the data and observing my body. I've also taken my temp the same morning immediately when I wake up and then after I've gotten up to use the bathroom and gotten back into bed, just to compare. My temps were virtually the same. I think it takes my bbt some time to rise (I have naturally very low blood pressure) and that makes it easier to accurately record. I have to take it internally, though, or it's useless. All of that is to say, I wouldn't dismiss an RE for that attitude. I'd prefer that my RE be less dismissive of charting, sure, but otherwise, I love her. As Monkey said, I think the important thing is that a doctor treats you like an intelligent person.
Have I said already how grateful I am to to have you guys here as I sit here and wait to figure out what is going on?!