More Teeth Brushing Ideas Needed

[Poodge]

I see a lot of post on this, must be a toddler issue.

We have always had an issue brushing DS's teeth and I am looking into some more ideas.

The first thing we did when he refused to have his teeth brushed was DH would tickle him (DS likes being tickeled) and while he was laughing I would brush his teeth. Then that stopped working so...

I bought an electric toothbrush with a train on it and he let us brush his teeth for a while then that stopped working...

Next we moved to if you are not going to let us brush your teeth then we are leaving. We would say goodnight, kiss him, and leave. We would wait outside the door to the room and after a few minutes (during which he would just wander the room talking to himself or playing) he would come over and talk to us through the door. We would ask him if he was going to brush his teeth and he would say yes and even slide the tooth brush under the door to us. We would go back in and he would let us brush his teeth... then that stopped working...

So I decided to let him brush his own teeth for just a little while and that worked for one night and now he refuses to even put the brush in his mouth. We leave the room and he goes to sleep with no fussing.

I am to the point of wanting to just hold him down and force the issue, sorry but the teeth need to be brushed, but DH thinks this will make him hate brushing and make it a battle for a longer time. I feel it already is a battle and sorry but it is not negotiable much like getting into the car seat.

Any ideas?

(Oh and we have tried to let him brush our teeth, tried brush different areas of his body to make it a game and silly, really I am out of ideas...)

[Verloren]

We have the same problem. I need a new tactic about once a week and I'm seriously out of ideas. I definitely resort to holding him down when that's the only way it'll get done. Right now what is working moderately well is getting him to make animal noises "Roar like a dinosaur and open your mouth really big, now say ah, ah, ah like a monkey" The novelty of that is wearing off though. Ugh! I hate teeth brushing!

[mrscookie]

same here. it's been a struggle from the very beginning. now L will cooperate in brushing teeth with my husband but not with me. i have to literally sit on him to hold his hand and body down. i always ask him first if he wants to do it the easy way or the hard way, and he says the easy way, but then he just runs away and laughs, and i refuse to have it be a long drawn out thing. we just do it, and if it's the hard way, it's hard for both of us, but we get it done. afterwards, we snuggle and talk about how it was hard and how we can do it the easy way the next time, but it hasn't happened so far. he already had to have his front teeth filled under GA, so i'm really not going to compromise. every night, i need to brush his teeth. 

[Asiago]

I purchased two books (on Amazon.com) for toddler tooth brushing. They are cute and my son likes them, one actually reads like a song (a familiar tune).

Also we 'brush' our stuffed animals 'teeth'. He likes doing that and becomes excited to brush his own.

Another trick is turning lights on and off, each time he swipes the tooth brush a few times across his teeth. I perform the light switch, he stares in the mirror and brushes. I don't know why but he find it's highly entertaining...plus he brushes his teeth!

[LoveLife]

Honestly, I hold him down.  I hate it, and I always give him a chance to do it cooperatively at first, but otherwise I do it because I have to.  It stinks, but DH has super soft teeth & cavities every time he goes to the dentist and DS already has a brown spot on 2 different molars.  I keep telling him how important our teeth are and that we have to take are of them.

The only other idea I have you've already tried- and that's the elecric tooth brush.  DS still fights us sometimes, but is letting us do it more frequenty than before.

Hope you can find smething that works for you soon.

[APToddlerMama]

ohhh, we are so there.  And DS has a cavity, so we are forcing it some days since there is no other way.  One thing that sometimes works is role playing...Like, I'm the vet and you're a puppy now let me brush your teeth puppy.  It is working less and less so now we're going to try sitting in the mirror and brushing together. 

[hildare]

Originally Posted by Poodge 

I see a lot of post on this, must be a toddler issue.

Next we moved to if you are not going to let us brush your teeth then we are leaving. We would say goodnight, kiss him, and leave. We would wait outside the door to the room and after a few minutes (during which he would just wander the room talking to himself or playing) he would come over and talk to us through the door. We would ask him if he was going to brush his teeth and he would say yes and even slide the tooth brush under the door to us. We would go back in and he would let us brush his teeth... then that stopped working...

it is a biiig toddler issue.  our dd has struggled with it too, we did hold her down but she has gotten used to it and much more cooperative...

this is about the one thing we won't respect her right to refuse, though.  i have a friend whose child had major dental work and it was awful.  we're vigilant about it now.  :(

i don't want to come across as critical or unsupportive, but i'm really glad you're not doing that part anymore.  i mean this gently, and to sincerely offer advice, but, it's not the best thing to do with our babes to conditionally be with them/ or tie their behavior to your presence.  i would never have thought anything about it myself, but i recently read unconditional parenting, and it's made a world of difference in how i view separation/ conditions... 

here's an essay about that from the unconditional parenting author, http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/15/health/15mind.html 

[Katico]

Yep, I bought the cool train toothbrush, I bought the sparkly toothpaste, I brought books home from the library, I sang brushing songs, I let her brush my teeth.....we tried it all.  

No dice.

So, in the morning, she brushes her own teeth while I brush mine - not very well, but I think she probably gets a few of them done.  And at night - I hold her down.  and I hate it.  And she screams.  But she needs to have them properly brushed!!!   she probably needs a lunchtime brushing too, but I just don't have it in me unless we can come up with a less painful way to get it done!

Hate toothbrushing.

[hannybanany]

Originally Posted by LoveLife 

Honestly, I hold him down.  I hate it, and I always give him a chance to do it cooperatively at first, but otherwise I do it because I have to.  It stinks, but DH has super soft teeth & cavities every time he goes to the dentist and DS already has a brown spot on 2 different molars.  I keep telling him how important our teeth are and that we have to take are of them.

This. Down to the DH with bad teeth. DD1 would scream, but she needed to have them brushed. Eventually she got over it and now, at 5.5, she brushes her teeth just fine - we did not scar her for life and she has healthy teeth ;-)
 

[Poodge]

Originally Posted by hildare 

i don't want to come across as critical or unsupportive, but i'm really glad you're not doing that part anymore.  i mean this gently, and to sincerely offer advice, but, it's not the best thing to do with our babes to conditionally be with them/ or tie their behavior to your presence.  i would never have thought anything about it myself, but i recently read unconditional parenting, and it's made a world of difference in how i view separation/ conditions... 

here's an essay about that from the unconditional parenting author, http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/15/health/15mind.html 

See I struggle with this too, and please know I don't mean this to be snarky I am really asking for input. I have read that book and while I agree in principal and try to put it into action sometimes I am at an honest lost. (And it has been a while but I remember thinking that is what that book lacked - any soultions on what to actually do in place of time out or walking away from a situation).  Am I suppose to sit in the bedroom all night and negotiate teeth brushing? Until when - we both fall asleep? (I think we may resort to the offer to do it the nice way or hold him down. It really does need to happen.)

Another area I struggle with in this regard is after teeth brushing. I usually offer to nurse and then lay with him until he falls asleep. The problem being most night now he wants to jump on my head, hit, or bite. I tell him no thank you, offer another soultion (hit the pillow, bite your stuffed dog), but it continues until I leave the room. He doesn't cry or call out or really even fuss, if he does either I or DH go back and try again. I honestly think he just wants some alone time some nights and doesn't know how to say it. I ask him a few times do you want mama to stay or go before the hitting begins and most nights he says stay, but five minutes later the hitting starts. Again, am I suppose to stay and let him hit me all night? I am really seeking input and we do fairly well in this regard until bedtime rolls around.  I don't want him to feel that our love is tied to conditions, but how do you deal with these things other than to walk away?

[sapphire_chan]

We have to try a new technique every few months. Right now it's working for me to be a "mommy dentist" and she lays down on a pillow with our bedside lamp lit.

And I think leaving and listening for his response makes sense. It really does sound like he needs some alone time and is too tired to know how to express that.

[hildare]

Originally Posted by Poodge 

See I struggle with this too, and please know I don't mean this to be snarky I am really asking for input. I have read that book and while I agree in principal and try to put it into action sometimes I am at an honest lost. (And it has been a while but I remember thinking that is what that book lacked - any soultions on what to actually do in place of time out or walking away from a situation).  Am I suppose to sit in the bedroom all night and negotiate teeth brushing? Until when - we both fall asleep? (I think we may resort to the offer to do it the nice way or hold him down. It really does need to happen.)

Another area I struggle with in this regard is after teeth brushing. I usually offer to nurse and then lay with him until he falls asleep. The problem being most night now he wants to jump on my head, hit, or bite. I tell him no thank you, offer another soultion (hit the pillow, bite your stuffed dog), but it continues until I leave the room. He doesn't cry or call out or really even fuss, if he does either I or DH go back and try again. I honestly think he just wants some alone time some nights and doesn't know how to say it. I ask him a few times do you want mama to stay or go before the hitting begins and most nights he says stay, but five minutes later the hitting starts. Again, am I suppose to stay and let him hit me all night? I am really seeking input and we do fairly well in this regard until bedtime rolls around.  I don't want him to feel that our love is tied to conditions, but how do you deal with these things other than to walk away?

well.. for us, we don't negotiate teeth brushing (i mentioned that we basically hold her down or at least we used to.. she now realizes that it's faster if she cooperates.. that one is a non-negotiable thing, like a carseat, you know?).  we do have limits, firm ones.  and we don't negotiate or offer choices if there's not actually a choice (like with teethbrushing). 

for me, the hitting would also be a non-negotiable thing.  how verbal is your kid?  can he use words to ask you to leave like "go, mama?"  if that is possible, then at some point when it isn't bedtime, you could role play and kind of make the connection with him saying 'go mama' and you leaving. 

that way, if the hitting at night is due to him wanting you to leave, that gives him autonomy somewhat AND eliminates the conflict-- you can always remind him, too, and ask.. "do you want to use words and say 'go mama?"

no WAY are you supposed to 'stay and let him hit you all night'  uh-UH.  unconditional parenting does not mean letting your child hit you!  it just means that you try to find ways (sounds like you're trying) to include the kid in the solution making.  what seems to help for us is to have little stock phrases that we repeat (and repeat and repeat) like 'hands are not for hitting.  that hurts mama. mama won't let you hit her. " 

i would probably consider the two things (leaving for not toothbrushing vs. leaving to protect yourself from harm once you've established that's what you're going to do and have asked your child to use words instead) very different.  i personally wouldn't offer options for toothbrushing, nor would i leave the room as a negotiation tactic, and i wouldn't tend to do the room leaving for anything BUT if the kid either asks or wouldn't stop hitting and i was removing myself from the situation.  (but i'm kind of learning as i go along, too.  i had amazing and surprising success last night using a 'time in' which i had not ever done before, so i'm learning something new every day....) 

[Kedrosami]

1. Cool spin brush

2. "Let me see your dinosaur teeth! Raar!" Or "Can I clean the yogurt/apples/avocado/(whatever he ate that day) off of your teeth? Oh I see a little bit of (something else he ate)--can I clean that off too? You have food on your teeth!"

3. Let him sit up on the counter & play with Mama's jewelry box while we brush

4. Let him rinse his hands/play with the faucet after brushing

5. After and only after brushing we turn off the light & he is allowed to blow out a candle or match (this one has probably worked the best for us!)

6. Endless negotiation & positive rewards (in addition to candles/matches we've done bubbles, special books & toys, etc.)

Our DS is 20 months btw. It's tough--just keep trying to make it fun!

ETA: oh and lots of praise. DH and I will say to each other "DS just brushed his teeth! Isn't that great? They're so clean! Go show Dad your clean teeth. Ooooh VERY clean! Good job!" etc. It works for us.

[MommaBirdie]

My toddlers love brushing their teeth, so I can only speak on the experience of what we do currently.
My kids both have their bottom two front teeth close together so they have to floss there.
I floss, just that spot and then give it to them and let them floss the other teeth that don't really need to be flossed.
We use grape flavored floss.
Then I brush their teeth first and let them after me.
We use bubble gum flavored toothpaste.
I brush my teeth at the same time so that they learn to imitate me.

Their favorite part though, is that I let them spit in the sink.
I have no idea why they like it, but they do.

I don't know if that helps, at all, but hopefully it prompts more ideas?
Good Luck

[Poodge]

Thank you everyone for your suggestions! 

This is what we did and so far it is working - I took DS to the store on Friday and let him pick out a new toothbrush and his very own toothpaste (non-flouride). Then I bought another toothbrush in a different color but same style. I made it a very big deal that he was picking his own stuff out and had his very own tube of toothpaste. I told him that he would use his toothbrush and toothpaste first and then mommy would use her toothbrush after him. For some reason he loves the toothpaste (I think it taste awful) so this is working for now. In addition I bought a sheet of stickers that he picked out and gave him one right away and told him he could have another one every time he let me brush his teeth. He is now asking to have his teeth brushed twice a day and isn't even requesting a sticker after two days, so I just give them to him at random or when he asks. I really hated going with a reward for toothbrushing, but it is working. 

[mama-of-two]

We had this same issue for a while because our dd didn't like the toothpaste we were using.  We changed to her "new toothpaste" and now she's all about brushing her own teeth and then letting us if we add just a little more to the brush.  We'll see how long this lasts, but it might be worth a try if you haven't tried it already.

[mama-of-two]

Awesome!  We switched toothpastes as well and that worked out well...glad to see it may be working for you too!

[yaboobarb]

Did you try letting him pick out his own electric tooth brush and toothpaste? This was usually enough to get my kids brushing!

[babyulu]

We got really into the Rafi toothbrushing song. "When you wake up in the morning at a quarter to two, and you're looking for something to do, you brush your teeth, tsss tsss tsss tsss, etc"

He knows the song and even makes the "tsss tsss tsss" sound and I swear it helps. I guess it makes it more fun or something. He has his moments of not wanting to brush and then I start singing the song and he gets into it, at least enough to get a quick decent brushing in. Gotta get them familiar with the song though, listen to it in the car, home, whatever. I guess it could be put on in the bathroom on a phone or ipod speakers. 

Just an idea...

[carmen358]

For evening brushes we ask DD which of her animals or babies are getting there teeth brushed. She picks out a couple and then she sits on DP's lap and I brush the animal/baby's teeth while singing a song we got from a teethbrushing book. Then "it's your turn!" and unfortunately we have to have her lay on DP's lap on her back with her head in my lap and I just brush them thoroughly but quickly. Sometimes she's fine with it, other times she cries a bit but it's getting better and so far she doesn't try and run away at least!

In the morning, I'm on my own for brushings so I put her on the bathroom counter facing the mirror and we brush our teeth together. After we're both done I stand behind her and brush hers a bit more.

I also feel like this is a non-negotiable thing.