How do I make my house the "cool" house?

[NZJMama]

My kids are 6, 4 and 1.5. We are lucky enough to live on a street with a couple other families with kids under 8. We have several playdates a week and everyone gets along great. I am happy to let my older two go to the neighbors houses to play, but I really want the kids to want to be at our house as much as possible. Any ideas on how to make my house the one the kids want be at? Toys? Games? Snacks?

[LynnS6]

What's worked for us:

Non-intrusive supervision (i.e. keep an ear out for problems but don't hover)

Greet the kids when they come over and treat them with respect

Not caring about the state of your yard -- we have bare patches from playing baseball. We don't care. Everyone else does. Guess where they play?

A tree swing

Open-ended toys-- out playmobil sets are a huge hit

ETA: Don't be afraid to set very clear boundaries. I think kids like our house because they know what to expect.

We're not always the cool house -- our house is on a hill and so if they need somewhere flat to play, they go down the street to where it's flat. But in the summer, they're at our house more than they're not.

Edited by LynnS6 - 6/3/11 at 12:51pm

[One_Girl]

I have built a good relationship with my dd's friends by asking them about themselves, checking in to see how school and interests are going, asking about things that are important to them, and being open to listening to them talk without giving preachy advice.  I also stay very hands off during play though and only intervene if I hear a problem brewing that they aren't handling on their own.  I know what they enjoy for snacks, healthy and unhealthy, and I keep it on hand.  Since I only have one child our house also offers her friends with siblings peace from siblings and taking the kids out to the Y to swim or to the park to play is something that I can do easily without having to pack a whole car up.  If you can find a way to provide the kids with peace from siblings when they have a friend that isn't common to all of them that may help too.

[APToddlerMama]

Originally Posted by LynnS6 

What's worked for us:

Non-intrusive supervision (i.e. keep an ear out for problems but don't hover)

Greet the kids when they come over and treat them with respect

Not caring about the state of your yard -- we have bare patches from playing baseball. We don't care. Everyone else does. Guess where they play?

A tree swing

Open-ended toys-- out playmobil sets are a huge hit

ETA: Don't be afraid to set very clear boundaries. I think kids like our house because they know what to expect.

Yes to all of that.  We try to be warm and friendly with all the kids who come over and chat with them a bit.  Our son is only three, but pretty much every day we have several kids playing in our yard with him between the ages of 3 and 10.  We have clear rules and boundaries and stick with the "We love having you play here but if you xyz, we're going to have to ask you to leave" and that has worked well.  DH was a bit reluctant initially to do that with them, but things started getting out of hand and he had to start when I wasn't out there to do it.  It hasn't changed that we're the house everyone comes to every day. 

[philomom]

Yep, try to not be on top of them when they play and try to keep basic rules just that.. basic.

Do supply food, even if its just microwave popcorn and lemonade.

You don't have to have the coolest electronics but large sets of Lego, playmoble and lincoln logs are great.

Be willing to let them "build a fort" in one corner of the back yard.

A swing, trampoline or zipline are awesome attractors.

[jtbuko]

I have been skimming the Playborhood blog lately, which has some posts about attracting kids to your yard.

Kids love our place - I think in part because it is a little different from the big suburbia we are surrounded by We live smaller, but still have attractions, pets (including occasional foster animal), PVC for building out back, swing (Ikea) in daughter's room, there are ramps (PVC and gutters) attached to our fence, there's a good view of all activity on our busy street from front swing or sandbox, and we back to a neighborhood playground.

[chaimom]

My kids are a bit older: 5, 9, 9... and other kids seem to like it.  We have a big backyard with a tramp, playset with playhouse, kid-sized John Deere gator and zipline in our backyard. We also have games like croquet and badmitton. (sp?)  It's kid paradise that seems to attract friends.   Inside, we used to have a trapeze swing in the basement with a mat under it, but the kids are too big now.  We have tons of legos and other building sets, and my dd has all her little animals and playsets.  The kids also love building forts and I give them free reign to create anything they want with the furniture in the basement. 

As far as interacting with the kids, I just keep an ear out.  Sometimes they ask me to make brownies, but they actually don't snack that much on playdates.   I don't think food's that much of a draw (maybe it's just my food?!)  

We have a wii, but they very rarely play games on it, so at least here, I don't think it would be that big of a deal.  

[NZJMama]

Great suggestions. Thanks!