I need people to speak into my life.

[les_oiseau]

I can think of two healthy relationships in my entire life. Right now we live by family, but they are, and always have been, preoccupied with their own situations. I have one long distant friend I can look to for wisdom. Other than that I don't know where to turn. I have crazy anxiety that causes me to be unable to get to know anyone. I don't know what to do.

[azgirl]

In my experience and observation, most people don't have a lot of close friends/support. Ideally you would have a mix of casual friends and family and those few people you are very close to. In general, we are all preoccupied with ourselves and our own lives...that is normal. I guess what I am saying is I think it's pretty normal to have only 2 or 3 people you get deep with and for those people to be preoccupied with themselves sometimes...maybe you could give us more detail of what's going on? Do you call them and they are always too busy to talk?

What are you looking for and what are you missing? From your short post I am wondering if you are lacking people that you can have deep conversations about your anxieties? Or do you simply need more of a general support system...people to chat with and hang out with?

If you are so anxious that it makes it difficult to get to know people, therapy is awesome. It solves two problems: helps you overcome your anxieties so that you can form better relationships AND it gives you someone to talk to. I had good luck with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It's my opinion that other forms of therapy can make anxiety worse by just having you talk and rehash your worries without having an action plan...

I have had good luck with therapy and self-help books...

[Kathy White]

I found The Work of Byron Katie to be incredibly insightful and helpful myself, as someone who believed that I never truly belonged anywhere (and my life and relationships reflected that belief) I turned that belief around (along with many others) and have much more peace with myself and  I find the few relationships I have do nourish me are quite simply enough.

I can really relate to what you say.  

The Work is similar to CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) but simpler and more inline with a mindfulness/awareness practice.  There is plenty of free resources on The Work website- www.thework.com 

I wish you well. 

xxKathy