not so sure - Page 2

[heatherdeg]

Originally Posted by Fillyjonk 

Well not I am not but I'm not sure how much difference that would make. I suppose maybe our public schools are better, maybe, so the comparison isn't so stark. To be completely honest, I think if I said all this on a UK based board I'd have the same reaction. I do feel strongly that there is a reluctance to talk about the downside of HSing outwith our direct community-and this is understandable-but if a prospective HSer is asking about this stuff (and honestly, I thought I was replying to a thread where this was the case, not starting my own)-then I'm inclined to be very honest with my own experience. 

The difference is nothing more than social culture.  Quality of the schools differs within a country by district, so I don't see that being a factor.  I have absolutely zero reluctance to talk about the downside of HSing and outside of people being insecure about their decisions and needing to make it out to be "the best possible thing", I don't see why anyone else would be reluctant to admit to the bad things, either.  Every course of action has pros AND cons.  There is no perfect scenario.

See, depending on the age of the kids, I'd consider holding a child down or throwing sand to be borderline violence. Obviously not if the kids were 3, but if they were 6 or 7, then thats unacceptable to me. I also think that "its no big deal" is not an ok reaction to this, and isnt an improvement on school, certainly not the schools I've known.

I consider holding a child down against their obvious will to be violence.  This happened to take place between a 7 & 8yo, but regardless, I would still think it was serious that even a small child would not be moved by another humans obvious upset.  And I didn't say that "it's no big deal" was acceptable; but it is not quite as disturbing as being proud of their child for these things (which is what you were describing).

I did read it, I disagree, I think a ps parent can be very involved with their kids school life in myriad ways, they dont have to be physically present all the time to help them become social. There are other behind the scenes ways that can also be effective.

That may be the case, but I don't see where they have any actual time to have any meaningful conversations with them or even model behavior for them.  I don't see how they could possibly know what's even going on most of the time; and in fact, I know at least two families in my neighborhood where the mothers truly DIDN'T know what was going on until *I* told them--knowing that nobody else would.  What I did was considered taboo, but really, if the parents don't know BEFORE it escalates, then how can they keep it FROM escalating (and this is not specifically about bullying, just about any "issue").  

Originally Posted by MommaBirdie 

I think you are incorrect in your stereotyping.
Statistically most home schooled children are from very religious right families, which don't meet the rest of your stereotype based on the stereotype of the religious right.

But stereotypes are rarely a good accurate way to judge something...and neither is anecdotal evidence.
 

Glad you see that stereotypes are not a good way to judge something because your contention that most HS'd children are from very religious right families is so far off the map from my experiences across two different states that I cannot even wrap my head around someone making that statement.  I'm honestly wondering if you were just saying that to make the point that stereotypes are not great ways to judge things.
 

[SweetSilver]

Originally Posted by heatherdeg 

Glad you see that stereotypes are not a good way to judge something because your contention that most HS'd children are from very religious right families is so far off the map from my experiences across two different states that I cannot even wrap my head around someone making that statement.  I'm honestly wondering if you were just saying that to make the point that stereotypes are not great ways to judge things.

          I think this varies locally.  I know we haven't connected with nearby homeschoolers locally because most are Mennonite or conservative Mormon, or just overtly Christian in their education, enough to make me uncomfortable.  And I think, statistically, that the estimates (whose???? it was in the paper) indicate that the number of homeschoolers nationwide are overwhelmingly religious, as a stated purpose for schooling their children at home.  I know you can pick these statistics apart for various reasons, but there it is.

[Fillyjonk]

yeah, you know what comes across on this thread? We all seem to have had different experiences. My experience is that some homeschoolers are extremely isolated, not just from their homeschooling community but from their community as a whole. SweetSilver's experience is that most homeschoolers bar her are religious, heatherdeg's is that they are not.

There is no one homeschooling experience, homeschooling in the UK (where it has always been legal, meaning that its never been championed by religious people, and where we anyway have a strong tradition of free schools making autonomy perhaps and easier progression) is going to be different to homeschooling in rural america or canada (there is hardly anywhere in the UK with that amount of space between houses), or again to a huge metropolis-which you guys do better than us.

As I've said, I'm a homeschooler, I've grown up with homeschoolers, in fact I went to school very little and fueled by John Holt pretty much unschooled myself from around age 14. I feel strongly that homeschooling is a great thing. But I do feel that, IME and in this area, it CAN have its downsides. Knowing something has downsides doesn't make it something not to do. It just means we need to think about how to get around those downsides to make the experience even better.