how much time did your partner take off? - Page 2

[Mamatoabunch]

My dh has taken anywhere from 2-12 weeks. I definitely did not think 2 weeks was enough and 12 weeks was bliss. So dh has been home w/ this baby 2 weeks before bay arrived and 2 weeks weeks since he arrived. He plans on being home for another 5-6 weeks this time.

[Bokonon]

My husband took a week off when DS was born, because I was still in the hospital and very sick, and DS was in the NICU.  He took another week off when DS came home.

When DD was born, I think DH took a week off and then had to go back to work the day after she came home from the NICU.  :(

My mom was visiting when DD came home, which helped tremendously with DS, who was almost 4.  But I didn't find it too difficult to function on my own with the baby.  It was nice having DH home, and he certainly cherished that time, but any more than a week probably would have driven ME crazy.  It's nice to get into your own groove.

[SynEpona]

My DH works in sales, so even when he's 'off', he still takes calls & makes calls to his office ...

He'll take a week-ish of his vacation time when the baby is born, then another week of vacation time in September (when she's about a month old), and we're going away for our 'summer' family vacation then. We postponed it, as we thought it'd be more fun with a newborn than with a very hot/tired/pregnant me.

When DS was born, he didn't take much time off at all, as he was scheduled to start a new job the week after the due date. DS arrived one day early, DH stayed at the hosp. most of the day, went in to his old job to wrap things up, and then had the weekend at home with us before starting the new job. My sis surprised me by flying in from the other end of the country that weekend, so she was with me most of the first week while DH was starting his new job.

Hopefully, however things work out this time, they go as smoothly as last time! We don't have anywhere we need to be, or plans made for about a month-6weeks after the duedate, so if new-baby, DS & I need to take things really easy while DH is working, we can. I can also probably ask him to work from home/come home early/go in late a day or two a week if needed, so while the customers never stop calling, we've also got some flexibility in how much time DH needs to be out of the house each week.

[erigeron]

We lucked out because hubby is not contractually required to teach summer quarter, so he is off with no issues whatsoever through September (baby is due nowish, but hasn't made her appearance yet). He is going to teach one online class during summer quarter, but he can do that all from home and I don't imagine it'll take more than 1-2 hours of his time a day.

If baby hadn't been due at such a convenient time, we would have looked into FMLA leave and having him take at least a few weeks if we could possibly afford it. I would have really hated to have him take just a few days off and then be on my own after that.

[purplerose]

Mine got about 2 days for the first two, I'm not sure yet how it'll work with this job. We can afford more time off, but also he's in a much higher position and is able to come and go with more freedom. I never really needed *help* but it was good to have him for the couple of days in case anything happened to me. I think it would drive me crazy if someone's mother came and stayed weeks, or even days! If the mom has a natural, healthy labor, and no ppd, why does someone need to stay with her for so long afterwards?

[Dov'sMom]

He doesn't.

After my first, he was back at work the morning baby was born. (I was back at school that same week, too, baby in tow). I was in labor from Sunday night; we both went to work/school Monday, but I made him stay home with me Tuesday. I gave birth c. 4 am Wednesday, and he was back at work that day, an hour or two late.

Same for the second, except that I had a great maternity leave and  my MIL was there the first week. He did not miss any time at all as I went into labor Friday afternoon and delivered Saturday night.

My third he was in law school, so no time off (I labored from Thursday morning through Friday night; he stayed home Friday upon request/demand), and he'll still be in school when this one is due. Luckily, my MIL (who is great with kids if no help at all around the house) will be staying with us for a week or two.

[Dov'sMom]

Well, I guess I don't NEED MIL to be there, but it sure helps keep the older kids happy!

I have a very hard time establishing a milk supply. My babies nurse basically non-stop for the first week before my milk really starts flowing. That can be really frustrating to a toddler/preschooler. Also, I hate putting a newborn in the car, so it'll be nice not to have to take the bigger ones to and from school the first week or two. And I go through very long protracted labors, so I am exhausted by the time baby is born.

How far apart are your two? I was fine on my own with DS1, and mostly fine with DS3. DS1 was 14 months old when DS2 was born, though, and that was very hard -- he needed me almost as much as the baby did. After MIL left, we spent the next two weeks basically camped out on the couch nursing. DS2 was a very needy baby (read: screamed the first four months straight) and DS1 was sick much of the time -- we all had thrush (which I suspect bothered me the most), he had horrible vomit and diarrhea for the second week of DS2's life and then after three healthy days started spiking fevers up to 104.5. Turned out to be pneumonia. Juggling a very sick 14 month old and an extremely needy newborn on multiple trips to the doctor and even just cleaning up the diarrhea/vomit was HARD. And then while DS1 was still quite sick, DS2 got feverish as well.

Yes, I survived those first few weeks largely on my own, DH getting home from work at 8 PM or so, and I probably would have managed with three as well, but somehow bare survival wasn't really my dream of how to spend my baby's first few weeks.

Originally Posted by purplerose 

Mine got about 2 days for the first two, I'm not sure yet how it'll work with this job. We can afford more time off, but also he's in a much higher position and is able to come and go with more freedom. I never really needed *help* but it was good to have him for the couple of days in case anything happened to me. I think it would drive me crazy if someone's mother came and stayed weeks, or even days! If the mom has a natural, healthy labor, and no ppd, why does someone need to stay with her for so long afterwards?

[purplerose]

My first two were 17 months apart, and when #3 was born #2 was 5. It sucks to have a sick family with a newborn! When #3 was a newborn we all got a stomach virus except for the baby. I barely remember it. And when #2 was a newborn I got some kind of flu where my fever got up to 105, I was pretty delierious some of the time but everyone got fed and changed somehow. I guess I was on automatic. In my family you tough stuff out, I remember when #1 was a baby, and I was single, I got food poisoning. The next morning I was so weak I was crawling and couldn't even lift my daughter (she was about 4 or 5 months old), so I called my mom and asked her to come take her for a few hours and she told me mothers have to do what they have to do. Luckily I lived with my best friend's family and her mother took care of my daughter for me. I'd never leave my children to do things on their own. It can be done, of course, and for some moms we have to pretty much do it on our own at times, but I know it's not the best situation. I'd never treat my children that way; if they needed me, I'll be there.

We do homeschool so I've never had to worry about getting the kids to school, and now I have two teenagers, and one of them is about to get her license.

[Magali]

With our first my dh took off 10 days and it was fine.  With our second he took off 3 months and it was exactly the right amount of time because I found it hard to take care of 2 kids alone at first...not that I had to I guess since he was here.  I wasn't alone with them till the baby was 3 months old.  It was really nice.