mamaboots your story scares me a little. I'm just over 2 weeks pp and I had a second degree tear, my midwife also opted against suturing and advised me to move very little and keep my legs together for 3 days, I think I did at least 5, maybe more. Even now I try not to run up and down stairs too much. Pain has diminished, though I'm suffering from severe eczema, I always get it when using pads, I think everything is healing quite well, or at least in a mirror it almost looks all back to normal. They haven't checked me yet, they said they would a 6 weeks but they were pretty sure it would heal well on it's own. I haven't had any other problems yet, sex isn't even a consideration at this point, when I attempt kegals they feel the same so I hope that means everything is ok. I guess I'll find out at the 6 week appointment.
Contentmama a friend of mine had some extreme trauma after her first child. Not sure if she had tearing or anything but same type issues, extreme pain during sex, nothing seemed right. She ended up going to accupuncture, yep for down there, and it helped, a lot, so much so that she accidentally got pregnant again! I think it was a different story after her second child was born, I don't believe she had the same problems.