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MAJOR ETHICAL DILEMMA, Please Help :) - Page 5

post #81 of 84
Thread Starter 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post

Rule number one: just because you post on a forum doesnt mean you get to make the rules about how other people post.
Rule number two: Just because someone has a different opinion than you doesnt mean they are picking a fight or being inflammatory. (but now I am, because Im tired of you bossing people around.)


Thank god MDC has you to police other peoples threads for them and let everyone know what the rules are!  You should be getting paid for the job you're doing.  

 

Labeling me judgmental because of my differing opinion of the risk/benefits of EP is the height of hypocrisy.  

 

I never judged anyone, I only ever said that I thought EPing ran the risk of underfeeding your baby, as well as numerous other potential problems.

 

Just because I don't start every post "IMO" like you, doesn't mean that it isn't implied.

 

So...

 

IMO... Exclusively pumping and bottle feeding a baby runs the risk of underfeeding the baby.  And I don't think it should be promoted as a breastfeeding alternative because of that and the fact that should the mother tire of pumping, going back to breastfeeding could be very difficult or impossible and she may be more inclined to give up.  Which will hurt her and the baby.

 

is that good enough for you?  not sure what kind of response you wanted?  just let me know so I can do exactly what you want.

post #82 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by BenimBebek View Post

 

Thank god MDC has you to police other peoples threads for them and let everyone know what the rules are!  You should be getting paid for the job you're doing.  

 

Labeling me judgmental because of my differing opinion of the risk/benefits of EP is the height of hypocrisy.  

 

I never judged anyone, I only ever said that I thought EPing ran the risk of underfeeding your baby, as well as numerous other potential problems.

 

Just because I don't start every post "IMO" like you, doesn't mean that it isn't implied.

 

So...

 

IMO... Exclusively pumping and bottle feeding a baby runs the risk of underfeeding the baby.  And I don't think it should be promoted as a breastfeeding alternative because of that and the fact that should the mother tire of pumping, going back to breastfeeding could be very difficult or impossible and she may be more inclined to give up.  Which will hurt her and the baby.

 

is that good enough for you?  not sure what kind of response you wanted?  just let me know so I can do exactly what you want.


So does exclusive breastfeeding if the mother is uneducated and doesn't know to watch for hunger cues or decides to put the baby on a strict schedule. As has been stated before, ANY feeding method has the risk for underfeeding the baby if the mom doesn't get educated on the ins and outs of that particular method.

While you're not wrong about pumps being less effective than babies at emptying breasts, a true hospital grade pump will do fine if a mom is dedicated to it and pumps often enough - over supply or not. And I think a lot of the moms that would give up on pumping for being time consuming would also give up on BF'ing for the same reason. With EP'ing, you can at least hand the baby over to dad, sibling, whoever for the actual feeding. And sometimes babies BF for a lot longer at a time than you would spend pumping.

Just my 2 cents, and I have read this thread from the beginning, FWIW.
post #83 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by BenimBebek View Post

she isnt working as an au pair.  just for a few weeks to help that family who could find a day care that would take their baby.  but luckily the whole thing was resolved, ironically, as a result of day care.  

 


I realize that.  I am saying that if she wanted to come to the U.S. and work in a nanny-like position, she should have came as an au pair, not a student.  However, we're not here to debate what people should and should not do as immigrants.  My warning is that you should not be advising an immigrant as to what should and should not be legal.  Anything that results in them receiving money in trade for an activity they do is considered work, if the immigrant is not authorized to work it is a deportable offense, can make them out of status, and can result in their not being able to return to the U.S. in the future.  Helping out with the family for free is fine, but as soon as money or an exchange occurs, it is work.  I realize it has been resolved, but I am wanting to make sure that you understand this for the future.

 

post #84 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by BenimBebek View Post

 

 

IMO... Exclusively pumping and bottle feeding a baby runs the risk of underfeeding the baby.  And I don't think it should be promoted as a breastfeeding alternative because of that and the fact that should the mother tire of pumping, going back to breastfeeding could be very difficult or impossible and she may be more inclined to give up.  Which will hurt her and the baby.

 

is that good enough for you?  not sure what kind of response you wanted?  just let me know so I can do exactly what you want.


I think the point of myself, and obviously other posters here - is that you seem to inadvertently come across as judgmental, harsh, or insensitive perhaps.  To me, it seems that is NOT your intention, but due more so to poor phrasing and perhaps some bias in your parenting methods.  

 

For example to say giving up bf'ing or EPing "will hurt her and the baby..." is showing a clear judgment and bias!  While there are scientifically demonstrated benefits to bf'ing, they have not been clearly linked to bf'ing versus simply to breastmilk itself, so no telling if EPing provides the same benefits or not...  it's not been studied.  And, some women's experiences with bf'ing/EPing are SO bad, that switching to formula is physically and emotionally the better choice and may improve their situation and health.  

 

IMO...  I don't think any mother who starts off bf'ing quits unless they are finding something about it troublesome.  It hopefully is a decision being made in the best interest of the child, but sometimes that includes being more convenient for mom.  I accept that there are parents out there with different priorities/beliefs than myself, and I may judge them when it is at odds with my own moral compass.  But, I also choose to not complain about their lives or get into their business (unless I see a child in danger), but simply do not affiliate myself with them.  

 

Just a note about the immigrant worker thing...  any exchange of services/money can be considered work.  This girl had a very valid reason to worry (and hopefully she was paid in cash to cover her tracks).  

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