Aww, so sorry about this! :( My dd was 3 when we discovered she had horrible teeth problems. Her face swelled up one night in agony and we took her in to the dentist to find she had an abscessed tooth and 6 cavities! I was the mom in my group who didn't give my kids pop or juice or bottles or candy, BF well into toddlerhood (and she was never a big night nurser), yet mine is the only one who had serious dental issues. It really makes me insecure and makes me feel like a bad Mom. The first dentist we went to was horrible, he was very stern and bossy to my dd, made her scream in terror because he nearly shouted at her to open her mouth, etc- he was such an idiot, he also insisted she HAD to have amalgam fillings. She was put on penicillin and the abscess pulled, which was really hard for me, I was not allowed in the room, she'd never had a needle before, she was terrified of strangers- but it was done fast. (She is allergic to penicillin, we found out, and she broke out in a horrid swelling rash.) We found a wonderful ped dentist who was great with children and our only option was surgery under general, as she needed so much work done and they didn't want more to abscess. The hospital had a program for children to prepare them for surgery- it was wonderful. I was assured I could accompany my dd right up to the surgery doors, they give her a drink with a sedative in it to help her stay calm as they wheeled her away- I was most afraid of her screaming as they wheeled her away. She didn't shed a tear as they wheeled her away, thankfully (I did!). They assured me they would bring me in to recovery as soon as she woke. They filled her cavities with white fillings, cleaned, polished, filed and sealed her teeth. While sitting in the recovery waiting area waiting on pins and needles for them to bring me in, I was worrying that it was taking awfully long for her to wake, plus there was this poor baby boy screaming for 30 minutes on the other side of the door (no windows) and I felt awful for the poor mother trying to calm him. Finally, they let me in and I discovered to my HORROR and OUTRAGE that it was MY DD who was screaming, (the anastetic makes them hoarse so I didn't recognize her cry at all)- they had left her screaming for 30 minutes while I paced waiting in the other room after they promised me I would be with her as soon as she woke. I was SO upset, I climbed right into the bed with her and rocked her and yelled at the nurses for leaving a tiny girl to scream for her mother for half an hour! It still angers and haunts me! :( I don't tell you this to scare you, but to make sure it doesn't happen to your child. Thankfully she didn't remember crying for me after the first day, she only remembered the pink popsicles she got once they moved her upstairs with me, but she had bad "white-coat syndrome" for a while (fear of doctors). I wrote a nasty letter to the hospital for their disgusting treatment of my child and the fact that they LIED to me in assuring me I would be with her as soon as she woke.
DD is 7 now and she hasn't had any more cavities since. She is much better around doctors now. She is totally fine getting dental stuff done (cleanings, exams). The ped dentist thinks the reason she has Enamel Hypoplasia (defective tooth enamel) is due to my heavy use of drugs during my pregnancy to control my asthma. I had to take several rounds of antibiotics for pneumonia and collapsed lung twice while pg with her, and was even exposed to radiation (inhaled and injected) for a VQ scan (suspected pulmonary embolism) at 7 months pg. All of these could have contributed to her poor teeth. So I know her dental issues could not be controlled, but I still feel guilty. I had similar problems during pg with my oldest and his teeth aren't so great either. He is 9 and has had 3 fillings so far, he had one at Christmas, and his regular 6 month cleaning appointment rolled around last week but he had a toothache- he had to get an abscessed tooth pulled! Plus he has at least 2 more cavities that need filling. It is really discouraging, I hate the way I perceive the dentist looks at me. My kids eat way healthier than their peers- we don't do pop, we rarely have juice, we don't do candy! We are religious about brushing every single day! It honestly makes me a little bitter that so many of my friends gave their kids juice in bottles, let their kids have all kinds of crap, add chocolate syrup to every cup of milk and their kids have sparkling white teeth and no cavities. While at the dentist last week I was looking through their Cavity Free photo album and I saw some kids from our town who I know from our church outreach, their parents drink and smoke their welfare $ away, neglect their kids, there's no way they are looking after their teeth- they just got lucky, and good tooth genes. Makes you wanna stomp your foot and whine "It's NOT fair!" And it's not. :( But try not to blame yourself. Obviously such a young child with a healthy diet and a serious dental issue, it was out of your control. Be kind to yourself, whichever way you decide to treat this, i hope it works out well, just be firm in how you expect your child to be treated and hold them to it. Know that you are a loving, doting Mommy who's child got unlucky teeth and you are doing everything in his best interest to take care of him! Hugs!