What to do when baby hates riding in the car?

[foreignerforlife]

My 8-week-old hates riding in the car. He cries pretty much every time we drive someplace. This is not so bad if my husband drives, since I can sit in the back and comfort the little guy. He can be soothed if he can suck on my little finger and hold onto another finger while I shush him. But when I have to drive him somewhere by myself, it's a nightmare. He wails and wails until he gets so tired that his wails turn to whimpers and I am in tears. What can I do? I hate having him cry like that, and I don't agree with the philosophy that he will get used to it if I do it often enough. The crying breaks my heart.

[St. Margaret]

When my babies were tiny and hated the car I tried to limit car time, time drives for during naps when possible, nurse a lot just before driving, sing and make funny noises (raspberries etc) a LOT... And then just remember it's ok and cuddle when we got out. With dd I would often stop but with ds that's not always possible, taking dd places... It sucks, even my 6mo goes through bad patches still. There were no cars back when babies were being designed, you know? It is awful and we do just say we won't go too far but sometimes we have to or even a normally ok short ride turns sour... Hugs mama!

[4evermom]

I only went places walking or on the bus/train until ds was 9 months unless I could get someone else to drive so I could sit in back with ds.  Fortunately I didn't need to be anywhere!  He got much better in the car as he got older.

[beenmum]

What type of carseat are you using?

Infant carseats arent made to support the stomach of an infant, esp one with reflux or such.

Maybe not feed him right before a car ride so his stomach isnt trying to digest in an unnatural posistion.

Can you get a convertable car seat instead of an infant one? Or have a nurse/lactition help you find a better support for your son that takes any pressure off his stomach?

[crunchy_mommy]

DS was like that, I avoided the car as much as possible (but where we live, you HAVE to drive if you want groceries etc.!) and I'd also plan trips so that I could walk from store to store if I had multiple errands to run, even if it meant crossing busy 4-lane roads. We also tried to plan to do errands/appointments as a family so DH or I could be in the back seat with him. Actually he is 2.25 and we are just starting to both sit in the front seat together sometimes again!!!

He hugely improved right around 9-10mos though. That was the same time we switched him to a convertible car seat, so I always wonder whether he just hated the infant car seat, or just got used to being in the car around that time? Guess I will never know... but if you could borrow a friend's convertible seat just to test it out, maybe your DS will do better with it and that will solve your problem??

DS also likes having a big huge mirror angled *just so* so that he can see my face in my rearview mirror. I sang non-stop the whole trip, anywhere we went, and that helped a bit too -- still helps when he's having a tough day. Shading the sun somehow (putting him in a baseball cap or adapting sunglasses to fit on him, for ex.) helped too because he's always been very light-sensitive.

I'll see if I can think of anything else...

[meemee]

whenever we put dd in teh car seat, no matter where - in the house or in teh car she would SCREAM. in fact mil - mother of 6 kids - had to take a picture when dd was 3 days old coz she had never seen a baby show such rage. 

wish i could help u. we tried everything that we could think of. including twins to sit with dd. nope. 

i avoided the car as much as possible. 

i cant remember. was it 9-10 months or a little bit later - dd mellowed down. right from babyhood if it was just me and dd i'd talk to her or sing to her constantly.

one thing worked. it was the only thing. take the bus. however that doesnt really solve anything either. dd has cried in the bus the WHOLE time a few times too. 

not sure if it could have been motion sickness coz dd has always read her books in the car.

[mammal_mama]

Both my dd's hated riding in their carseats when they were babies. So, like some other posters, I just avoided unnecessary car travel. And, when we did need to go somewhere, dh usually drove and I sat next to Baby and nursed her in her carseat. They do fine riding in the car now, at ages six and eleven, so don't believe anyone who tells you that you have to force them to get used to it or they'll never learn, LOL.

[jocelyndale]

My statistical outlier was like that until he was *two*.  And yes, we did switch to a cushy convertible (RF, of course!) when he was 7-8mo to see if that made a difference.  Nope.  When he was old enough for a more upright angle (head control while sleeping), we did that.  No difference.

I walked and took the bus a lot.  He was fine that way.  He was happy to be worn and even happy in a stroller (but *not* a travel system, he hated the carseat) from time to time.  We saved car errands for the evening and I sat in back while DH drove (or vice versa).  Kid still screamed.  :/

He loves car rides now.  There's hope.  Someday.   

[meemee]

oh yeah that's right. after she got over the crying dd loved car rides. at 18 months we took a 12 hour drive to go to a wedding. we only made two quick stops. though she had her adult cousin there too which kept her occupied.

at 2 months a one hour trip we had to do took us over 3 hours plus screaming. i just had to make sure we stopped before she got sooo upset that she wouldnt be able to calm down.  

[XanaduMama]

dd was like this as an infant. It SUCKED. I chanced upon a miracle cure, though: took her to a chiropractor for a checkup and some adjustment for reflux; she fell asleep in the car on the way home and NEVER CRIED IN THE CAR AGAIN (ok, she did, but never the same irrational screaming). Might be worth a try? Changing out their infant bucket seat for a convertible can also help.

[St. Margaret]

Yeah chiro is always a good idea for any mysterious frustrating baby behavior! So many miracle stories!

Sometimes you HAVE to drive. Hello CA, suburbia, no bike lanes... Also to keep us all sane we have to go out. Ds might fuss in the car but it's a trade off for guaranteed crying stuck at home day after day. Plus big sis needs to go places.

And my dd used to fuss and cry but got over it gradually and became a SUPER traveler. She does all day car rides with ease now. It's awesome. Hang in there!

[foreignerforlife]

Thanks for the replies! I hadn't considered that the seat itself might be uncomfortable--he also hates the stroller, so I thought he just didn't want to lie on his back while moving. I drive so seldom that I'd hate to buy another car seat. I'm glad to hear that your kids all got over this. He's totally great in the Moby, so I am thinking I'll just use public transportation or walk whenever I can.