Hippiemom: I could have written your post. My son is such a wonderful, sweet, goofy kid....but if he had been born first, I NEVER would have talked DH into a second. My wonderful, sweet, independent, low key DD came first, though, so he agreed to a second and I'm so glad. I can't imagine my life without my son in it, but I swear some days I feel like, if a traveling circus or band of gypsies were to pass my house...I may jump out the back door and run away with them!! Haha, I know that's a terrible thing to say, but I'm telling you, I'm so fried and burnt out. I get it, I really and truly do.
What actually saves us, is my DD. She loves her brother so much and has this sweet, nurturing but no nonsense way of dealing with him that he really responds to. When I feel really burnt out and at the end of my rope, I just try to emulate her when I deal with him and it actually helps. She is not emotional, she is caring and sweet, but not frazzled and that energy really works to help calm him. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have DD.
Hang in there, mama, it won't always be like this for us. My son is 19 months and it's so discouraging sometimes, because things have become steadily worse with age as opposed to better, like all the other kids I see,,,but I know that when he starts to have better language skills it will at least FEEL better because I'll be able to talk to him.
I honestly don't have any suggestions really, I just last night posted in Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy about my breastfeeding problems with my son and got some really good ideas, go look at it, it's right at the top. I wish you luck, hang in, if you ever need support from someone who is going through exactly what you;re going through, PM me.