Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama
This is OT slightly, but me and my brother are 6mo apart (he was adopted and came home at 3mo, and I was born 3mo later). My mom got so sick of people asking her if we were twins that she just started saying "Yes!" - and then the person who asked would get puzzled b/c my older brother is Korean, and I am white. LOL
I got asked THREE times the other day by strangers during one restaurant meal if my boys are twins. When you have adopted kids (or one bio, one adopted) it really puts you in a weird spot. I want to start saying "yep, twins!" just to not have to field more questions. But it feels weird to outright lie like that, esp since we never refer to them as twins, and they dont look alike at all. But if i say "no" the next question is invariably "Oh, how far apart are they??" and a look of confusion when i say "two weeks!" I dont feel like a "mom of twins" (one of my sons joined our family at three weeks old, the other at nearly 17 months old so i didnt have to deal with two babies in the middle of the night, etc) and yet have many of the same issues as well. I think this issue is similar to any issue that makes you stand out (my oldest son has very red hair, we got comments every.single.time.we.went.out about his hair, do these people think they are the FIRST to notice he has red hair??? grrr), i've got three children adopted transracially, so im used to nosy strangers. Whether your child is a twin, or has a disability, or is strikingly beautiful, or very tall, or very small...whatever...people are just nosy. I think some are just trying to be friendly, some are intrusive, some are rude.
That being said the comment "its just like...." is weird. No two experiences are the same. Maybe if a mom said "mine are 10 months apart, its hard having more than one little one at a time isnt it?!" or some such thing it might be less irritating to twin moms than saying "its JUST LIKE having twins!" because no its not. Before my last son came home i had a little girl who was about three or four months younger than my son, and at a different dev. stage, and i found it much harder than having the two boys who can play well together and relate to one another. But so much could account for that other than age (such as personality), so why even compare.
Do people really ask twin moms if their babies have the same name?? that is so bizarre! People are weird!