4.5yo and periods and puberty

[atpeace]

At what age do you share the details of puberty, especially menstruation? 

I recently "welcomed" back my cycle after having my son, so in effect, I haven't had a period in over a year and a half. DD was almost three at the time, and never noticed my Diva cup or cloth and disposable pads, so she's never asked any questions yet. Now that I have to dig them out from the storage closet again, I know she'll notice them in the bathroom and will start asking questions (she's 4.5yo now). How do I handle the conversation? Are there any good books you'd recommend (we've read books about where babies come from, and she understands those things, but never about the details of puberty and periods)? How old were your kids when they wanted info about periods? What did you tell them? 

[Wolfcat]

I just lay it out. I told my DS (then 2.5) that it was mama's "moon time" and that there was bleeding, it didn't hurt and it was just something mama's do. He really hasn't asked again, but when he does, I'll answer his questions as scientifically as I feel he will understand.

[MommaBirdie]

I always share information with my kids on an age appropriate basis.
My DD is 2.5 yo. So when she recently inquired about my cycle (I never am able to use the bathroom alone) I just said mommy is on her period, it comes every month (my cycle is only ~28 days).
She didn't ask for any more.

[meemee]

you know since i never went to teh bathroom alone till dd was what 4? she kinda 'grew up' with that knowledge. i got my periods 2 weeks after i stopped bleeding from birth. so for her a women pees, poops and bleeds at certain times of the month. 

by 2 1/2 dd would bring me my pads if i forgot to take them with me. she also got interested in how children were created so i used a medical dictionary to show her. she was interested in the system and learnt about semen and ovum. 

however i gave her exactly waht she asked for. at her 3rd bday she told her ps teacher who was just pregnant - oh so you are not bleeding then because that blood is being used to make the baby. uhmmm not exactly but it will do. 

by 4 we had the penis in vagina talk because dd v. v. specifically wanted to know exactly how  the sperm met the ova.

[LynnS6]

I think I said something like "every month momma's womb makes something like a little nest for a baby. If momma isn't going to have a baby, then the lining in momma's womb goes away and comes out as blood through my vagina." Every month after that, when dd noticed that I was having my period, she would say "Oh, you're not having a baby this month." As a pp mentioned, dd learned the 'facts of life' pretty early because she was intensely interested in the whole process. I answered questions factually but without much elaboration. Dd demanded elaboration when she was ready.

[laneysprout]

My DD is 4 and has always noticed, so she doesn't view it as anything but a part of life for women.  I think she noticed for the first time when she was around two.  At that point I just told her it was my moon blood and something that women experience once a month if/when their bodies aren't growing a baby.  That did it for awhile and then over time she started asking and I started answering questions about why I use a moon cup and/or moon pads when I'm on my moon ("to catch the moon blood"), why I didn't get moon blood when I was pregnant with DS ("because moon blood is life-giving blood and my body needs it now to nourish the baby"), and when she will have moon blood ("when you're older").  I think it has been helpful for me to only answer what she asks and in language she understands.  My thinking is that her knowledge and understanding will continue to grow over time (and age appropriately) making it much less of a monthly "event" and more just one aspect of what it means to have a female body.

[Katie T]

We have a open door policy for the bathroom so I just answer questions as they come. Now that I use the diva cup I ask my 4 1/2yo DS to step out when I take it out/put it in. I was emptying the dishwasher the other day and pulled a little med cup out and DD2 asked if that was my diva cup. lol

[princesstutu]

I basically said what LynnS6 said.  My oldest daughter was scared of ever getting her cycle for a few months, but after seeing it for a while, she stopped worrying about it.  My middle daughter wanted to change my pads for me at first!  Talk about a gross moment. LOL  My youngest daughter has taken quite the interest in my cycle, now that it returned a couple weeks ago.  She's 16 months old and her new favorite thing is my pads. 

I, too, got used to hearing, "Oh, so you're not having a baby this month."  It was cute until it became an indictment!

[andromedajulie]

My daughter is now almost 9 and I am VERY glad that we had such an open conversation about menstruation from probably age 2 on (or whenever she started asking questions)... like the pp, my dd was always in the bathroom, and she was very inquisitive about everything. Being able to explain this stuff to her long before it has any potential impact on her own life has been very helpful. because as she gets older she wants to talk a little less and less, especially about things related to her body or sex. Also - i think it sets the tone that it's ok to talk about things, and that mom isn't afraid to talk about things. So I highly recommend doing the education on an ongoing, no-big-deal basis - I've been very glad I did!

[andromedajulie]

Also - I highly recommend the books by Robie Harris... there are several for different ages (It's Not the Stork, It's Perfectly Normal, It's So Amazing) - these are by far the best I've come across.